Life is meaningless without pain, someone once told him. So now, who was the fool who thought it was fun and amusing to say that? A life without pain—this simple idea was enough to bring a smile to Sunny's face. His body was a mess, his muscles screaming, sore like never before. Sadly, there was a tomorrow, and it was destined to end the same way.
With pain.
At the start, everything was like a dream. The beauty of this place had surely blinded him in some way, because what happened after they moved in… all hell broke loose.
Three weeks of screaming, not far from telling him to become a machine. Master Theseus was terrifying, and his look was the worst trap anyone could have laid.
That man was no different from a movie star—a gentle smile, a soft voice. And his face… was he a model of some sort in his free time? He was slim, and honestly, Sunny was at fault for this one, because he had dared to think the Master was a gentleman. Who wouldn't, looking and acting like him?
It was only after he was given a wooden sword that the nightmare truly began. The change of tone was the first shock, quickly followed by the comment.
Why would he say something like, "Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your family. Dishonor on your cow"?
Sunny didn't even have a damn cow! Whatever it was supposed to be !
Not that he didn't know it was insincere, just a way to push him forward. But there was a problem.
It didn't work on him.
The insults were pissing him off, which meant his concentration worsened, and as a result, he made more mistakes—which only earned him more insults in return.
All the while, Nephis was doing everything she was told. Yes, sometimes she failed, earning a reprimand or two. But it was the polar opposite of his experience.
The worst part was that she would come afterward to tell him what he had done wrong. Everything. Every misstep, every time his concentration broke, every time his sword flew out of his hand.
He wasn't proud of it, but after the third day, Sunny had blown up at her—all his frustration, dumped on her. And she just… took it. Only for her to do the same thing again the next day, as if nothing had happened. Because yes, he came close to strangling someone mentally, but besides that, he was seeing some progress.
Until today.
Day 45 of training.
The sword flew out of his hand once again. Sunny had learned to expect the cold voice after each of his failures. But this time, nothing came. His forehead drenched in sweat, his breathing erratic, he turned his gaze toward the sky—or to be precise, toward the man whose shadow was shielding him from this false sun.
Sunny couldn't see his face, but he could clearly hear his voice.
The coldness in it was different this time—not sharp, but dulled. Saddened by something.
[Theseus]:"You can stop for today, Sunless."
It was something impossible to imagine, let alone hear. Master Theseus was the kind of man to push you, even a foot into the grave, until you had done what he asked.
Even Nephis had stopped mid-swing, looking at the scene with dread in her eyes for some reason.
[Sunless]:"I… I can continue, Teacher…"
[Theseus]:"I know you can. But it would be worthless. Now get up and go see Miss Jeanne for your usual check-up."
[Sunless]:"I…"
[Theseus]:"Don't waste your breath. Get up now and go. And don't call me Teacher, because you're not my student anymore."
The girl beside him wanted to say something, but one look was enough to make her step back. She hesitated a moment before her arms started moving again, completing her exercise.
Sunny, on the other hand, stood frozen for a moment. He wanted to ask him why. What had he done? Why now, after those weeks of being told he could do better?
Frustration is a powerful thing, because he went from breathless to running with all his might out of the training ground. He knew that by acting like this, he was only giving the Master more reason to abandon him… but it was too late now, wasn't it? Even if it was some kind of test, it had gone too far.
The path to Jeanne's was quite straightforward. Being close to the training ground was maybe why she'd chosen to be there.
Usually, he would have knocked before opening the door, but not today.
The room itself was just Jeanne's private bedroom, though it had a closet full of medicine, bandages, and lotion. But that wasn't what he was looking for.
Standing at the doorstep, his eyes darted around, only to find the doctor sitting behind her desk, looking at him with surprise—but not much of it.
He didn't care. Sunny stormed in and took his usual seat.
His face contorted as emotion after emotion passed through him. Still, no tears rolled down.
He was silent, and Jeanne was too, waiting for him to calm down a little.
Then, when she judged his state stable enough, she spoke up.
[Jeanne]:"Tell me. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Tell them to me."
A knot formed in his throat; the words were hard to say.
[Sunless]:"Master Theseus told me to leave. That I wasn't his student anymore. I don't understand! Why?! Did I do something wrong? Why didn't he tell me earlier? I—"
[Jeanne]:"It was me. It's my fault. I asked him to do it."
Sunny froze at that instant, the information too hard to process.
'Her voice… her sentence, she—'
But before he could say anything, Jeanne was already explaining.
[Jeanne]:"Didn't he tell you to come to me? It was one of my conditions—one he agreed to. You did nothing wrong, and him telling you that isn't meant as a punishment."
[Sunless]: "…"
[Jeanne]"On the contrary, it was to keep you from doing more harm to yourself than anything else… He's a good teacher for Nephis, but that doesn't mean he'd be one for you. Children aren't supposed to change for their teacher. You tried to change, to follow his rules. But the meaning behind them isn't meant for you."
Sunny tensed up, frowning.
[Sunless]:"And why is that? Why does it work for Nephis and not for me?"
[Jeanne]:"Because her mind is far simpler than yours. For her, it's kill or be killed. Where she trains to end a life, you want to train to protect others. Master Theseus shares the same mindset as her, so they work well together. She's turning into a machine of pure efficiency, pushing aside any feeling that might get in the way of her goal. You… are the opposite. You may one day kill, but only if forced to. You're sentimental, even if you try to hide it."
Sunny was angry, still listening, but no words were sinking in.
He felt exhausted, powerless, and above all, angry. Why hadn't they told him this before? Nephis surely wasn't even aware of it either, since she'd helped him every day after each training session.
Now he felt bad that she'd spent so much time on him, only for it to end like this.
She may have been a pain in the ass, but he couldn't deny she'd gone far beyond what she needed to, just to give him some advice. Damn, why was everyone here so hard to understand?
So all this time, training with all his might, had just been a test to see if he was compatible with Master Theseus?
The anger faded little by little, but the frustration remained. Because now he had to find someone else to teach him how to be "strong."
[Jeanne]:"Now. Your body. Any pain?"
'Back to her usual self, then…'
He moved his hands, then his arms, then his shoulders. Everything seemed fine. But that wasn't the kind of pain she meant. Those aches were harmless, not life-threatening.
[Sunless]:"I'm fine. No chest pain to report."
[Jeanne]:"That's good…"
Even with the sword of Damocles hanging over his head, the way Jeanne handled it was painful to watch. Ashe's words haunted his mind—why did she always have to be right? Pushing the thoughts away, Sunny tried to shift his focus. After everything, he wasn't really hungry, but he still had some time before Vincent came to call him. It seemed having his lesson cut short had its upsides, even if they didn't quite outweigh the downside.
[Sunless]:"No check-up today?"
[Jeanne]:"Not required. But—if you want to. I guess I—"
[Sunless]:"I'll use that excuse next time to escape Ashe, if she starts to annoy me too much."
"Your idea. Not mine."
The mood was starting to lighten and brighten, until a noise came from behind him.
Someone was knocking at the door.
They exchanged looks, both wanting to be sure no one had planned to visit at this hour. Since neither of them knew who it was, Jeanne turned a bit colder. Not that she was unhappy to see someone else, but her warmth was reserved for Sunny, not the other way around.
[Jeanne]:"Come in."
One second.
Two seconds.
Nothing moved, not even a sound. Jeanne was about to repeat herself when the door finally opened,
revealing a girl still in her training clothes—though unlike another kid who'd arrived ten minutes earlier, she wasn't dripping sweat from every pore.
She eyed them, and they looked back at her in silence.
Sunny was the one to break the ice.
[Sunless]"It's early for you to leave the training ground…"
Nephis simply nodded.
[Nephis]:"True. There was an hour left of training."
[Sunless]:"And yet you're here… Are you hurt or something?"
She simply looked herself over, moving her fingers, then her hands, arms, and shoulders. Sunny didn't know why Jeanne suddenly stifled a laugh. Still, the girl was looking at him—not at Jeanne.
Him.
She hadn't moved from the doorstep, though…
[Nephis]:"I'm fine."
[Sunless]:"So…"
[Nephis]:"I asked Master Theseus to let me go. Just for today."
Hadn't Jeanne just explained that she was training to become machine-like? Yet here she was, doing something a machine shouldn't do, going against her own directive.
Why did it feel so strange to see her act this way?
A shiver ran down his entire spine.
[Nephis]:"Jeanne, are you done with Sunless? I want to talk to him. Privately."
The doctor looked intrigued but didn't push it, giving the boy one last look before giving Nephis a thumbs up. Sunny wasn't quite sure what to do, so Jeanne gave him a little push.
[Jeanne]:"Go. A piece of advice: girls should never have to wait."
That was…
So stupid.
Why girls especially? Was there even a reason for that? He was allowed to make someone wait, but not a girl?
He'd have to ask Plume her opinion on that later.
With little choice, Sunny stood up and moved to join Nephis at the door.
No words passed between the exhausted doctor and the girl—just a simple nod from both sides. The door closed soon after, leaving Sunny alone with Nephis in the corridor.
Still, what could she mean by "privately"?
[Sunless]:"Nep—"
[Nephis]:"Not now. I have… something to show you…"
Without a word, she was already walking off. Sunny lagged behind for a moment but quickly caught up. Walking side by side, the tension between them was unbearable—and it only grew worse when he saw where they were heading.
He was allowed to go anywhere in the palace, with only one exception: a wing he'd been told never to enter alone. He remembered asking if there was any danger, but he'd only gotten a warning from Ashe—
Never to go there unless someone guided him.
But now Nephis was leading him into that very zone.
[Nephis]:"Your sister… Rain, was it? What's your best memory of her?"
Even though he didn't understand where the question came from, Sunny's face froze. Talking about her was hard; remembering the good days was harder. In all honesty, he didn't want to answer.
But the tone she used wasn't the disdainful one from her mocking days, nor the cold one from her explanation after training.
No…
She genuinely wanted to know.
Not to use it against him later, not as some example.
His voice was shakier than he wanted it to be.
[Sunless]:"Her first step… I was playing with her, and she tried to stand up… and then she took her first step toward me… her arms raised… trying to reach me…"
Maybe it was too simple, or too emotional, but Nephis slowed down just to look at him. In her eyes—why could he see sadness there? Or was it pity?
[Nephis]:"It sure is a beautiful memory…"
[Sunless]:"What about you, Nephis? What's your best memory?"
The emotion in her eyes only deepened as her pace slowed more and more, until they finally reached a lone door. She stood there, her eyes leaving Sunny to fix on the door in front of her.
Then, in a murmur, she answered his question.
[Nephis]:"None. There's nothing good."
Sunny wasn't looking at her directly, but at her trembling hand on the doorknob. She was trying her best not to show it, but she was clearly full of doubt about something.
He could have told her not to push herself, that it wasn't that important. But Jeanne's voice echoed in his mind—her feelings were hers alone to weigh.
So he waited.
It took about half a minute before Nephis moved her hand and pushed the door inward.
[Nephis]:"Please… don't touch anything in there."
She was already stepping into the room when Sunny glanced inside—and his jaw dropped in shock.