It was shocking, to see the difference of ambiance from the corridor and the inside of this room. Because in front of Sunny stands a nursery, dolls and plushies everywhere. There were paintings on the wall, with fairy and charming princes riding a white horse. Two beds stuck against one another. The first was adult-size while the second was made for a child, a baby.
The perfect representation of an imaginary place made to be cut from the outside world. Here, the only feeling that Sunny could sense was peace. He was… protected from any problem that he might have had before entering this room.
Still Nephis kept walking forward, close to the window from where the sunlight gave birth to a blessing. An unknown breeze passing through the transparent curtains. Sunny had little trouble to see clearly because the beam of light shining to his eyes.
But he saw her.
A silhouette seated on a rocking chair.
A sleeping princess that will never wake up.
He had never truly seen her before, only a glimpse of a picture passing through countless screens in the city. But as time went by, she was forgotten. Pushed aside by the fall of her clan.
And still, he knew who she was.
He was also a bit taken aback to see her here. He had always thought that Smile of Heaven had died. And yet, he wasn't truly wrong… It was the first time he saw someone with that condition.
From that instant, Sunny had found out from whom Nephis appearance was taken from. If he didn't count her lifeless blue eyes, she would have been a perfect adult version of the girl.
Her stunning black hair style with only some small and decorative braids, letting the rest fall off along her back. Wearing a white complex dress, she was truly worthy to be described as a princess.
[Sunless]:"She is… beautiful…"
It was the only thing that he was able to tell her, only breath-taken by the beauty of this place. Of this person.
Nephis looked at him, her eyes were veiled with so much emotion that Sunny was not able to describe it.
[Nephis]:"Yes she is…"
The girl moved slowly, toward her mother. Nephis' hand tried to reach hers, but she stopped at the last second. Less than an inch kept mother and daughter apart, but one was unable to move and the other chose not to.
Sunny didn't know what to say. The girl in front of him was the polar opposite of the one he had encountered while leaving the guestroom for the first time. Because back then, she was prideful and had a bit too much confidence, but now she looked… like she had been in constant pain since the beginning.
[Nephis]:"You know…"
Sunny looked at her.
[Nephis]:"Master Theseus had explained to me why he did what he did. But trustfully… I don't understand you Sunless. You have lost everything… So why aren't you enraged ? Why are you trying to protect something… someone that already had been lost ?"
[Nephis]:"I tried to understand. Putting myself in your shoes, but… I can't. I know that everything will fall apart one day… I will lose everyone and stand alone… Even if it hurts just to think about this truth… I can't forget it and I can't ignore it."
If Nephis had faced him before, now she was watching what she would have called her "mother".
Gray on blue.
There was a moment of silence before Sunny got to hear the rest of her "explanation".
[Nephis]:"Grandma had made a lot of effort for you to not meet any servant. But I… I know them. Knew them. Those you died while protecting me, those that were killed for turning their blade against me… I remember… All…Of…Them…"
He couldn't see it, but his ears had heard it.
That's shaking in her breath, that's little gaps she had to take to recompose herself. To hold herself together. It was a private talk and weakness had no right to be the host of that discussion.
Not that Sunny could comment on that.
Despite that overlooked detail, the girl was already resuming the share of her chain of thought.
[Nephis]"I can't fight for something that I know will be lost one day. Taken from me even I try to grab into it with all my might."
…
Couldn't she have told him this somewhere else ? Sunny was trying to understand the situation the best that he could. Why did she take him here ? Why this speech ? At least, he could see the reason behind her incapacity to understand him.
Seeing things with that point of view, it was like…
He was her future.
What she could have been. What she will become after losing everything.
And yet, he was not like her. So how was it possible ?
That was her question.
[Sunless]:"I… I have not truly lost everything yet. Rain is alive."
'I truly hope so… '
[Sunless]:" Even if I'm alone… If she is happy, that's all that matters to me. I...it would be a lie to tell you that I'm alright with it. Ashe once told me that I was punishing myself. Maybe that's why you can't understand me…"
'Gods even I can't do it myself…'
[Sunless]"But… At the same time, I can't deny it. I want to protect… Myself and her…or others ?"
The voice trembled in turn, he wasn't truly sure about it. It almost felt as if he only discovered it as his lips gave away thoughts he didn't even remember having.
[Sunless]:"More others than myself actually… still… Someone had told me that if I suffered, those who cared for me would suffer too."
[Sunless]:" I don't like the face that Jeanne makes when I'm having trouble, or when we are speaking about my heart. It's harder to endure than an actual wound and it scares me to be like this..But… I think I still want to fight to protect my people, at least from having to suffer because of me."
[Sunless]:"Jeanne, Plume, Dana, Ashe...even I am surprised by it right now, but I want to protect you too from that feeling… We hate each other sometimes, you have the gift to get under my skin faster than any bedbug I encountered. But still, you helped me. And I want to respect- to protect those moments."
[Sunless]:"Maybe they will not stay forever… But…"
His gaze finally turned to look at the one that wasn't truly here. She was her mother, every mother should love their children so, maybe she would have wanted for him to say what he truly wanted to say.
A wisdom that she couldn't give herself to her own blood. So maybe just for this time, he would allow her to have a piece of a blessing that the woman named Luna gave to him.
[Sunless]:"My mom told me once that it was because things were fleeting that we cared so much for them. Because we know that one day, we will lose them."
It was at that moment that the bubble around his mind finally popped.
Nephis was once again looking at him with a look that may take an entire book to describe. Gray eyes toward him, as if his being was the biggest mystery there is and will ever be.
And now… he had done it, and that was Ashe and Jeanne's fault. It was their word that pushed him to act like this. He hated the way he was feeling right now. How wide open he was. How he dared going against all logic. How he was… relieved to have said those words.
Looking away, he felt like he had to conclude his thought. Unable to leave them without an explanation.
[Sunless]:"I don't know if it has helped you… or even if it was why you asked me to come here to begin with. But at least, that's what my heart told me to do right now. And that's the only thing that I have left right now, so I want to follow it. That's what my mom would have wished for me…"
But since he was here for her, should he ask for something in exchange ?
A question for a question, what a fair deal.
[Sunless]:"Now… I want to know… Why did you act that way with me ? Telling me that I'm not and will never be accepted, only to help me afterward. To look at me for an entire week, to give me advice between some teasing. Even acting like nothing happened after I spilled out all my frustration at you."
Nephis was looking back at her mother, it was like she was searching for the answer from her. Anything to help her find the missing piece. All of that only to give him that answer:
[Nephis]:"Because I wanted to."
Before he could say anything, she moved her hand. Just enough to tell him that it was not worth it.
[Nephis]:"I think that Vincent might be searching for you… You still haven't eaten after all."
[Sunless]:"Me ? What about you ?"
[Nephis]:"Already done with it. Before I came to Jeanne's room."
And that's also why he hated her sometimes, acting like Ashe with a few steps ahead of him.
'She planned it… That damned devil.'
Having an excuse to push him out of the room without being rude, Nephis was silent after that. Sunny had not really a choice on the matter, so he began to walk toward the door in silence.
He heard some murmur from behind him, but he knew. He could feel that there were not his to hear.
Yet, he couldn't just go like this. So without looking at her, he asked:
[Sunless]:"Let's agree that everything shared here will never be repeated, okay ?"
For a moment, Sunny had feared the lack of answer. It would be awkward if that happened.
'Come on… '
But the chuckle coming from behind him was enough to break that possibility. The voice that came after that was light but weak.
[Nephis]:"Why? Are you getting shy, princess ?"
[Sunless]:"...I'm already regretting every nice word that I said about you."
[Nephis]"Oh… Because you said some? I thought that you hated me."
Oh, he really wanted to cut deep with his words, but… Here ? In this place ? With her hollowed mom ? He was maybe dumb, and untalented when it came to feelings, but even for him, it was going too far. Even more when he had that weird and inexplicable feeling when he was looking at the sleeping princess.
[Sunless]:"… See you later Nephis."
He was emotionally exhausted. The door was opened and then closed behind him. But now he had to deal with Vincent…
'Gods, give me strength'
Sadly, the Gods were dead.
The cook wasn't bad at his very core, but talking to him felt like caressing something rough and itching. Like trying to scratch that zone behind your shoulder without success.
Comment after comment. Nitpicking at every opportunity.The best way to deal with him was to be harsh and scornful. Something he had such an easy time to be around him, what a surprise.
Still, he needed to get going. His stomach was waking up a bit too much to his own taste.
He wasn't used to this part of the palace, so Sunny was taking his time to look around. To his surprise, the only room in here was the one he had just left.
Yet, that was not an excuse for him to not take more time than necessary.
Not only because of the cook but for once, his mind was taken by something else. What he had told Nephis, it was the kind of thing that he would never admit telling.
That was now two secrets that he had to bury deep down his consciousness. Trying his best to forget their existence to begin with.
[Sunless]:"I'd give you some princess…"
Still, he was now pissed off by two things. Nephis was the latest addition to the list but he was still teacherless. All that talked had not resolved his first issue of the day.
'I can keep repeating the last training that I was given, I guess…'
If not for the sword, he could at least reinforce his body. But now the choice was limited. Jeanne was off-charted, just because she needed to rest and her planning was already full for some reason. Dana, it was awkward when there were only the two of them alone. For once, the fault wasn't his. She was the one that had a hard time looking at him. That leaves him with…
Ashe or Plume.
Now that was another problem in itself.
Yet, Sunny felt that he was on the right path with that idea… He might have to take more time to think about it. Especially now that he had arrived…
Opening the door of the dining room, he was directly welcomed by a voice that sounded far too pissed off to be a good start.
[Vincent]:"Well look who finally decided to show up. Y'know what I just love? Wastin' my damn time keepin' a plate warm for some kid who can't be bothered to show his face."
[Sunless]:"Weird way to say Hello."
[Vincent]:"Tss, look at you-... talkin' just like Ashe already… Poor kid, you had plenty of potential."
Standing in front of him was the cook. Vincent was leaning against one of the chairs, still wearing his nonchalant appearance. His face was still covered in stubble… Sunny could swear that Dana had threatened him to cut it completely the day before…
Wait, for once, Vincent looked at him differently. A slight change from his eyes maybe ? Sunny couldn't tell, but the aura around him had suddenly changed.
'Oh… not you now'
[Vincent]:"Where ya been?"
[Sunless]:"Where Nephis had taken me."
[Vincent]:"I see…"
With that, Vincent moved away from the chair, moving it to lead hungry kid to his late breakfast. Sunless didn't know why, but lately, the menu had changed in style. Moving from current and popular recipes to lost one form before the Dark Age… Or at least, it was what Vincent had claimed.
So Sunny was expecting something weird again, just like the "German" breakfast they had a few days ago. As much as he loves meat, it did not belong on a breakfast !
But, nope. Today was just some waffle with cocoa based drink.
Not wasting any time, Sunny was already holding his fork without realizing it. But the worst part was the fact that it was delicious.
'Why did such a good meal have to come from this guy… '
[Sunless]:"Thonks forthe meal..."
[Vincent]:"Don't go talkin' with your mouth full…"
Now that the routine was done, he could just eat and leave.
Perfect plan.
Just-
[Vincent]:"So, how was the nursery ?"
[Sunless]:"It was special."
Between two movements of fork, the question had been asked and answered without much reflection. Until Sunny froze in place and turned his enraged eyes toward the cook. That waste of a man even dared to be amused by the situation.
[Vincent]:"Hey, don't try to kill me with that look. Ain't my fault if I can smell it on ya."
[Sunless]:"Huh… what ?"
[Vincent]: "I maybe or maybe not got a shitty personality, but nature made up for it with a damn good nose. Helps with trackin' and cookin'. Honestly, I'm just surprised Nephis dragged you there so quickly. What, did somethin' happen between you two?"
The first response was a hateful look, followed by a disgusted noise coming from the boy. Yes, maybe the tone he used was suggestive… He deserved this one.
[Vincent]:"Can't take a joke, can't ya ? But seriously, what went down for her to just drag ya there like that ?"
[Sunless]:"Why are you this interested all of the sudden ?"
[Vincent]:"I've always been interested, just kept it to myself. Watched that girl grow from a baby to a young one always wantin' to punch me. Why wouldn't I care for her?"
[Sunless]:"Vincent… For the first time, I'm not that tired of you… What's with this day… Nothing's logical."
The man who had been beside Sunny since the beginning of this discussion was moving. Passing by the end of the table to finally reach the opposite side, facing him as he took a seat. Arms crossed, the message was sent.
Sunny will go nowhere until he gets his answer.
The plate was already empty, and the boy was clearly not in a mood to lose more time with Vincent.
He wanted an answer ? Sunny will give it to him.
[Sunless]:"Master Theseus will not teach me anymore. Out of the blue. So I moved to see Jeanne as usual after each training session. Then Nephis came and asked if she could take me somewhere private to talk. And no, I will not explain more than that."
[Vincent]:"Nah… That ain't enough."
[Sunless]:"Then too bad for you."
Sunny was already moving, leaving his seat.
[Vincent]:"What'd you felt when Master Theseus told you to get going ?"
[Sunless]:"Stop it."
He was close to the door.
[Vincent]"Sunless. Don't dodge it, answer."
But he stopped. His full name was always used but not with that tone. It was like an untold rule. If you use it, it has to be important.
He didn't look at him. But still…
[Sunless]:"I felt betrayed."
[Vincent]:"Did Nephis try to do anything?"
[Sunless]:"… She did."
[Vincent]:"You wanna to learn from me ?"
…
….
[Sunless]:"Are you crazy ?"