"Wait, so Orochimaru is actually... normal in this world?" Makoto asked, genuinely surprised.
According to the telepathic updates Uchiha Hikari was receiving, the alternate Orochimaru had simply researched cell cultivation and cloning techniques before studying the Impure World Reincarnation.
The order of his scientific obsession was just reversed compared to the real world.
Then, his infamous "Konoha Crush Plan" had been completely flipped into a wholesome "Konoha Restoration Plan."
'Was that really it?'
Moreover, because the Limited Tsukuyomi world prioritized advanced cloning research, it lacked the ethical and technological restrictions present in the real world, allowing Orochimaru to directly develop a flawless resurrection mechanism.
"Could it be that since the real-world Orochimaru is already an irredeemable monster, the simulation engine didn't feel the need to make him even more twisted?" Makoto speculated.
"Not exactly," Hikari replied, her face pale as she continued to receive telepathic updates from the snake Sannin.
Orochimaru clearly understood tactical priorities.
He first explained the crucial mechanics of the resurrection jutsu before enthusiastically delving into the deeply cursed historical lore that inspired it.
But once the historical process was revealed, Hikari immediately understood why Orochimaru was so fascinated.
The lore went like this—
"Orochimaru says that in this universe, Senju Tobirama developed the Edo Tensei much earlier than in the real world, successfully creating it by the very end of the Warring States period."
"What?!"
Up in the audience seats, the real Tobirama was immediately shocked.
Just recently, he had been quietly lamenting that if he had managed to invent the Edo Tensei before his battle with Izuna, he could have collected Izuna's cells for endless experimentation.
He had actually felt a deep pang of regret about it!
Now, it seemed that the Tobirama of the Limited Tsukuyomi World had somehow perfectly rectified this regret.
'What exactly did he do to Izuna?' Tobirama couldn't help but feel a surge of intense, morbid anticipation.
"That arrogant Senju bastard," Hikari relayed, struggling to keep her composure, "in order to completely humiliate Uchiha Madara... he used his Flying Thunder God Slash during his fateful battle with Izuna to completely sever Izuna's..."
Hikari choked on her words, her face burning.
"After Madara rescued him, Izuna's body and fragile male ego were so severely damaged that he eventually died in pure despair!"
"Later, during a peace treaty meeting, Senju Tobirama casually asked Madara, 'Hey, how is Izuna doing?'"
"Upon confirming that Izuna had actually died, the arrogant Senju secretly resurrected Izuna using his brand-new Edo Tensei. He then used the jutsu's sealing tags to completely suppress Izuna's will, rendering him totally unable to resist."
"Then... the Senju surgically transplanted Izuna with..."
"..."
As an innocent, formerly sheltered young girl from the Warring States period, Uchiha Hikari naturally couldn't bring herself to utter the actual vulgarities.
She could only replace certain unspeakable anatomical surgeries with long, deeply traumatized pauses.
"Oh?"
Tobirama, sitting in the audience, grew even more intensely intrigued.
'Could it be that in this Limited Tsukuyomi World, my alternate self actually transplanted Izuna with female parts and then sent him to work in a damn red-light district?'
'And then, carrying a pregnant Izuna, did he confront Madara and said. "I killed your brother, but hey, now I'm giving you two in return!"? Did Madara, utterly humiliated and enraged, finally clash with his elder brother in the Valley of the End over this?!'
Hikari took a deep breath and forced herself to finish the lore drop.
"Then, Tobirama had the Edo-zombie Izuna use a heavily modified, permanent Transformation Jutsu—the kind that could withstand severe physical attacks and injuries without ever breaking. He transformed Izuna into a beautiful woman and secretly sent 'her' back to the Uchiha clan."
"There, she became the dutiful wife of successive clan leaders, aggressively passed around using the fake alias... Uchiha Mikoto."
(Note: Uchiha Mikoto is Sasuke and Itachi's mother, yeah that one...).
"..."
Makoto stared into the distance, his brain actively trying to delete itself.
"In this world," Hikari concluded weakly, "Orochimaru discovered this horrifying truth by analyzing the fragmented, ancient data of the Edo Tensei technique."
Alternate Orochimaru had simply wondered: If transplanting a fully functional uterus into an undead ash-zombie is biologically possible... why not transplant more?
If transplanting individual organs and stem cells was feasible, why not just systematically replace the entire Edo Tensei ash body with living, cultivated human tissue?
Wouldn't that essentially be a true resurrection?!
Orochimaru had finally finished explaining the twisted inspiration behind his genius idea.
It was crystal clear that this horrifying resurrection mechanism could absolutely be replicated in the real world.
No wonder the real Orochimaru had been so intensely, silently absorbed in his notes.
Every single observation he made about his counterpart in this degenerate timeline accelerated his own real-world research by leaps and bounds.
The two Orochimarus, separated by dimensions, had somehow achieved a synergistic hive-mind effect, completely bypassing the laws of physics and basic human morality.
...
With the telepathic lore exchange finally concluded, the argument on the other side of the desert had also wrapped up.
"We can accept your ideological concept of creating a pure world without furries," Tsunade—the elected spokesperson for the all-female Allied Shinobi Forces—stepped forward to negotiate with Makoto's trio.
"But you must agree to one absolute condition before we offer our unconditional cooperation and surrender the remaining Tailed Beasts."
In the real Shinobi World, villains getting redeemed through Talk-no-Jutsu was commonplace.
It was perfectly reasonable for the Allied Shinobi Forces of an illusionary world to willingly defect to the enemy if the ideology matched.
But Makoto hadn't even used his Talk-no-Jutsu yet!
So how the hell was this reasonable?!
"What's the condition?" Makoto asked cautiously.
"The new Tsuchikage already mentioned it earlier, though she wasn't very eloquent about it," Tsunade stated earnestly, looking Makoto dead in the eye.
"You need to fuck every single one of us."
"??????" Makoto slowly typed out a giant, glowing question mark in his brain.
Hikari was equally stunned.
She quickly activated her Sharingan and scanned the massive Allied Shinobi Forces standing eagerly behind the Five Kage.
Her enhanced vision confirmed a terrifying reality: the entire goddamn army consisted exclusively of female shinobi!
"Don't tell me..." Hikari pointed a trembling finger at the horizon. "When you say 'us,' you literally mean all of them too?!"
"Exactly!" Tsunade nodded proudly.
"..."
'What does that even mean?!' Makoto panicked internally. 'Am I literally being offered up as the mandatory army spoils?!'
"If you agree to this single condition, I can officially make any promise on behalf of the Allied Shinobi Forces!" Tsunade declared, turning around to face her massive troops.
"WE SWEAR TO FOLLOW LORD HOKAGE TO THE DEATH!" the army roared in unison.
"Lord Hokage! I have a severe cleanliness fetish! Can I please go first?!" a random kunoichi screamed from the front ranks.
"Get the fuck out of here! You think you deserve to go first?! Watch your mouth, or the Hokage will toss your ass aside and form a separate squad just to jump him!" another ninja snapped back.
The disciplined Allied Shinobi Forces instantly erupted into a chaotic, incredibly thirsty cacophony of chatter.
"Okay, seriously... why?"
Makoto honestly wasn't completely bothered by the Allied Forces' perverted tendencies.
Compared to the literal animal-fucking Jinchūriki they had dealt with all day, their behavior was basically standard, albeit aggressive, human degeneracy.
What puzzled Makoto was the underlying logic.
'Why the hell are they suddenly demanding I reward the troops with my body?!'
"Why?" Tsunade asked, looking confused that he didn't understand. "Isn't your ultimate goal to create a brand new world? Capturing the Tailed Beasts and executing the furry-obsessed degenerates—that's just destroying the old world. To create a new world, you need to actually start fresh..."
Tsunade tried explaining it, but Makoto still wasn't grasping the biology of the situation.
However, Konan, a native resident of this cursed timeline, suddenly had a terrifying epiphany.
"I get it now," Konan whispered in horror.
She suddenly stepped forward, grabbed Makoto's hand, and looked at him with solemn, dead-serious sincerity.
"Makoto. Please. You have to impregnate me too."
"Huh?!"
"Don't be surprised. The genetics work like this..." Konan began to explain the bleak reality of their universe.
As Tsunade had previously stated, the native people of this world were genetically hardwired to be unable to resist the alluring forms of the Tailed Beasts.
This was fundamental human nature here; it was inevitable.
Men, in particular, found it biologically impossible to resist the furry urge.
The most straightforward, anatomical reason for this was that the Tailed Beasts lacked... human refinement.
Or rather, they lacked the proper male equipment.
For the native women, the Tailed Beasts were essentially like rootless duckweed—they had nothing to physically offer a woman.
Because of this anatomical incompatibility, the women of this world possessed a natural, biological immunity to the furry degeneracy.
But the native men were completely different.
They were entirely enslaved by their dicks.
Even the highly disciplined men of the Akatsuki actively had to fight against their own base instincts every single day.
This deeply ingrained genetic predisposition meant that even if they killed all the current degenerates, their native descendants would inevitably still be born completely obsessed with furry creatures.
Only an outsider like Makoto—a man completely untainted by this universe's cursed furry genetics—could act as the perfect genetic to safely repopulate and create a pure, new Shinobi World.
"..." Hikari stared at the army of thousands of thirsty women, then slowly turned to Makoto.
"...Maybe we should just nod and pretend to agree for now," Hikari whispered, pulling Makoto behind her Susanoo.
------
Damn!
Next arc, Naruto training sage mode arc with an.... exceptional technique!