The Nine-Tails' expression darkened instantly when he heard Shukaku threaten to spread the scandalous news to all the other Tailed Beasts.
A lie repeated a thousand times might not become the truth, but everyone would certainly start believing it.
At that point, for Kurama, there would be no difference.
Especially since Shukaku was such a notorious blabbermouth.
Even more terrifying, the tanuki seemed to have actually reconciled with his Jinchūriki.
Among the nine beasts, Kurama and Shukaku were undoubtedly the most ill-tempered.
In the original timeline, during Deidara's capture of the One-Tail, Shukaku had remained stubbornly silent.
Perhaps the beast believed the Akatsuki only wanted his raw power, thinking he was just moving from one prison to another, completely unaware they intended to sacrifice him to the Demonic Statue.
Kurama understood Shukaku's stubborn personality perfectly.
If Shukaku hadn't reconciled with Gaara, there might have been some room for negotiation.
But now that they were in sync, there was nothing he could do to silence him. Shukaku would undoubtedly broadcast the rumor to the ends of the earth.
"DAMN YOU, SHUKAKU! I'LL DEAL WITH YOU FIRST!"
Controlling Naruto's anesthetized body, the Nine-Tails lunged straight at Gaara.
'Huh, Garaa seems happy?' Shukaku, reading Gaara's inner thoughts, saw the Nine-Tails' attack like a succubus throwing herself directly at a lecherous rogue—it was exactly what the Kazekage secretly wanted.
The tanuki promptly dropped all resistance.
"Hmm?"
Kurama sensed something was fundamentally wrong and immediately halted the assault.
Kurama didn't understand why Shukaku had suddenly stopped fighting back.
After all, the fox hadn't heard Gaara's melancholic confession from the trees earlier.
As for other reasons? Kurama only remembered that during the Chūnin Exams, Naruto had used an explosive tag combined with the Thousand Years of Death to blow up Gaara's ass.
Surely Gaara couldn't have fallen completely in love with Naruto just because his ass end got blown up once, right?
If that were the case, the Shinobi World was a far more terrifying place than Kurama realized.
Or maybe the Hidden Sand Village is just so arid that the people there prefer 'unconventional paths,' and that was how they developed such bizarre romantic fetishes.
Could it be that Konoha's White Fang, the original creator of the Thousand Years of Death, discovered this psychological loophole during the Great Ninja War?
Did he decide to become a serial menace, constantly jabbing enemies ass to build affection?
And then, while trying to romance Sasori's parents, he accidentally used too much force and stabbed them to death...?
Regardless of the twisted logic, Kurama didn't know what Gaara and Shukaku were plotting, but it understood one universal rule: the more the enemy wanted something, the more it should be denied, the more the enemy approved of something, the more it should oppose it.
So, Kurama slammed on the brakes.
It turned its predatory attention back to the unconscious Sasuke.
"SHUKAKU, HURRY UP AND THINK OF SOMETHING!" Gaara yelled, suddenly anxious as the fox redirected its target.
[...I am not in top condition. Let's just let that stinking fox win this round. I...]
Shukaku was clearly making excuses because he was physically weaker than the Nine-Tails, but his massive ego wouldn't let him admit it.
As he spoke, the tanuki grew a little ashamed.
He had promised to reconcile with Gaara, yet he hadn't been able to help at all.
'That giant fox can control Naruto's body and act as a genius, so why can't I?' Shukaku racked his sandy brains, and surprisingly, he came up with an actual plan.
[It seems I, Shukaku, also possess the makings of a great strategist... Kid, follow my lead!] Shukaku whispered the battle plan directly into Gaara's mind.
"This... might actually work."
Gaara's expression stiffened for a moment, but to stop the Nine-Tails from ruining Naruto's purity, he acted.
With a swift wave of his right hand, Gaara sent a concentrated stream of sand flying toward "Naruto," who was just about to pounce on Sasuke.
Kurama could have easily dispersed the sand by simply swatting it away with a golden chakra arm.
But Gaara's target wasn't "Naruto."
He knew that even with Shukaku's help, he was no match for the Nine-Tails in a direct clash.
So, he shifted his target to the unconscious, completely defenseless Sasuke.
"Is he trying to take Sasuke away? That must be it, right? He wouldn't... kill him, would he?"
Watching from the trees, Sakura broke into a cold sweat.
In her mind, Gaara was still the bloodthirsty maniac from the Chūnin Exams.
Even though his personality had stabilized, the trauma of his past actions was too deeply ingrained to fade entirely.
"He wouldn't go as far as killing him. Gaara is the Kazekage now," Shikamaru analyzed calmly, watching the scene below.
"As for taking him away... probably not. Or rather, he couldn't take him. Naruto in his Chakra Mode is so fast he is almost impossible to track with the naked eye. Neither Shukaku nor Gaara excels at speed, they are both defensive specialists..."
Shikamaru analyzed the tactical layout for a while but couldn't figure out what the Sand duo were planning.
But he didn't need to overthink it.
The bizarre answer was unfolding in the dirt below.
Gaara's sand deftly split into two precise streams.
One stream firmly blocked Sasuke's front, while the other perfectly sealed his... ass.
"I SEE!" Shikamaru gasped in sudden realization. "By blocking the 'entrances,' the Nine-Tails can't proceed with its assault, no matter how strong it is! Unless the fox possesses Ōnoki's Dust Release and can surgically disintegrate the sand, there is nothing it can do! A brilliant idea. Truly brilliant."
Kurama was equally stunned.
It hadn't expected the usually brutish Shukaku to possess such devious intellect.
But...
"The front and back are blocked, but what about the upper exit?!"
"NOT GOOD!"
Shukaku and Gaara both sensed the danger, the Kazekage and the Tailed Beast suddenly acting of one mind.
Just as "Naruto" was about to make his move for a forceful kiss, Gaara's sand surged upward in a massive wave.
"DESERT LAYERED GREAT BURIAL SEAL!"
A colossal sand pyramid, marked with dense black sealing patterns, materialized out of thin air, completely encasing Sasuke's unconscious body and sealing off every possible avenue of assault.
All of Kurama' depraved plans were utterly cut off.
The giant fox was furious!
All it wanted was for Naruto and Sasuke to definitively sort out their romantic relationship!
Was that so hard?!
Why did everyone have to interfere with these gay ass lovers?!
"ROAAR—!"
Kurama let out a helpless, enraged howl as the golden chakra cloak finally flickered and dissipated from Naruto's body.
Since this was Naruto's first true integration with the beast's full chakra, he couldn't maintain it for long.
As the cloak vanished, the medical anesthetic took full effect and Naruto collapsed unconscious into the dirt.
"Thank you so much, Shukaku," Gaara said with genuine sincerity.
The technique just now wasn't his own, the Desert Layered Great Burial Seal was Shukaku's unique sealing jutsu.
"GYA-HA-HA-HA! SHUKAKU BEAT THE STINKY FOX! SHUKAKU WINS!"
Seeing the Nine-Tails scream in frustration and vanish, the tanuki felt an unprecedented thrill and began to cackle maniacally, completely ignoring Gaara's thanks.
Gaara didn't mind the beast's arrogance.
For over a decade, every time Gaara tried to sleep, Shukaku would rampage in his mind.
He was more than used to it.
The Kazekage walked toward Naruto, intending to gently carry the blonde back to rest.
But...
"STOP! DON'T GO NEAR NARUTO!"
"Bee-sama, he is the Kazekage and Naruto's friend," a Cloud ninja protested.
"IDIOT! HE IS NOT A FRIEND, HE IS THAT KIND OF FRIEND!" Killer Bee snapped at his subordinate.
"But his idea's not bad. I'll use it too, hell yeah!"
As Killer Bee twisted his muscular body, the Eight-Tails' massive tentacles erupted from his back.
In Killer Bee's eyes, Gaara's feelings for Naruto clearly went far beyond mere friendship.
To prevent the mantis from stalking the cicada while the oriole lurked behind, he couldn't let the Sand ninja do anything inappropriate to the unconscious Naruto.
Killer Bee whipped out three thick octopus tentacles.
Mimicking how the sand had protected Sasuke, the heavy tentacles slammed down, perfectly sealing off Naruto from Gaara's reach!
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