"What? It was Nidaime-sama?!"
The moment everyone saw Akamaru run straight up to Senju Tobirama and bark at him, utter disbelief spread across their faces.
They hadn't known much about the guy before, but ever since the Edo Tensei dragged the former Hokage back into the land of the living, everyone had gained at least some grasp on the First and Second Hokage.
If the Hokage were ranked by who had the biggest stick up their ass, the Second Hokage would absolutely take first place.
No contest.
And yet, nobody expected that he would turn out to be the key figure behind this entire shitshow.
Wild scenes started forming in everyone's heads.
The Second Hokage, thanks to his raging prejudice against the Uchiha, ended up clashing with Sasuke.
Sasuke somehow awakened some space-time dōjutsu and chopped off the Second Hokage's ass cheek before just chucking it away…
Speaking of which…
Everyone's gaze shifted at the exact same time.
Morbid curiosity got the better of them, and they all stared right at his backside.
"It recovered."
"Based on what that Akatsuki guy blabbed about earlier, it should've only reattached itself this morning, right?"
"Yeah, yeah."
"…"
"What exactly are you brats trying to do?" Senju Tobirama frowned, scolding them. "This isn't somewhere you should be."
These kids whispering among themselves about crap he couldn't understand was one thing, but why did their eyes keep drifting behind him?
Wait.
Tobirama suddenly remembered the lifelong enemy he had bumped into after getting reincarnated through the Edo Tensei—Uchiha Hikari.
Why did Uchiha Hikari hate both the Senju and the Uchiha so much?
Aside from being tormented and sealed away by the two clans, the biggest reason was that the intense bond between his elder brother Hashirama and Madara had birthed the current shinobi world.
This shinobi world, tangled up in bonds upon fucking bonds.
Uchiha Hikari looked down on Konoha as well, precisely because Konoha stood at the dead center of those bonds.
It produced the highest number of "Gay" shinobi.
Tobirama and Uchiha Hikari didn't get along, but on this one specific point, they completely agreed.
Gay ninja were genuinely toxic to the shinobi world.
If everyone just ran off chasing after intense bonds, the population would only keep tanking, and the number of high-quality shinobi would keep shrinking.
Because of that, Tobirama paid pretty close attention to this whole mess.
The new generation should have only had Naruto and Sasuke as a single pair of gay-type ninja.
Could it be that those two idiots had rubbed off on the others?
These kids were very rudely sneaking glances behind him…
No, wait.
It was one thing for the boys to stare, but why were the girls looking too?
Oh, right.
Tobirama remembered another kind of relationship described in Kakashi's dirty books.
'Something called… affection.'
"…"
Tobirama felt even more creeped out.
"Lord Second," Shikamaru said, stepping forward. "Have you had any conflict with Sasuke over the past few days?"
Shikamaru considered himself a genius, but thanks to the limited info he had to work with, he completely overlooked one massive detail: the Second Hokage's intellect was no lower than the entire Nara clan's.
That question alone handed Tobirama a crucial piece of the puzzle.
The instant Shikamaru asked it, Tobirama went on high alert.
'A conflict with Sasuke?'
Tobirama had only been freed from Yachihoko's chakra drain and regained his mobility after his elder brother came back and personally groveled to Makoto on his behalf.
His idiot brother had also pleaded for Madara, which got Sasuke to finally undo that Chibaku Tensei!
But after Tobirama recovered and stood back up, he noticed some weird shit.
His elder brother kept looking at him funny.
Sasuke, too, actively avoided his gaze, acting like he didn't even dare look him in the eye.
Tobirama had silently filed all those red flags away.
He initially planned to slowly investigate the cause over the next few days, but now, a fat clue had literally dropped right into his lap.
"Yes," Tobirama said calmly, giving a slight nod. "There was a minor conflict."
"Lord Second," Shigaraki Tanuki asked, stepping up. "Did Uchiha Sasuke awaken some sort of space-time dōjutsu?"
Tobirama side-eyed Shigaraki Tanuki.
He didn't recognize the guy, and he clearly wasn't part of the younger generation.
Sasuke's Rinnegan ability was critical intelligence too…
"Lord Second, I was once a subordinate of Danzo," Shigaraki Tanuki said, catching Tobirama's obvious distrust. "I came here today to hand over a research assignment Danzo entrusted to me directly to Lord Orochimaru. This is my proof."
As he spoke, Tanuki whipped the contribution-point card out of his jacket.
"There is no need to show that to me," Tobirama said. "I can tell you. But in exchange, you must also tell me exactly why the hell you people came here."
His gaze sharpened like a blade as it swept over everyone present.
Under Tobirama's heavy glare, cold sweat instantly broke out across their backs.
Given the current state of the ninja world, it didn't matter much anymore whether the Five Great Nations knew about Sasuke's dōjutsu.
Their only real enemies were Ōtsutsuki Isshiki, who was hiding out somewhere in the world, and the rest of those Ōtsutsuki clan freaks who were still a long way from arriving.
If they needed to guard against anything, it was just keeping Ōtsutsuki Isshiki's lackeys from getting their hands on the intel.
But since shit had already hit the fan, they might as well use Sasuke's ability as bait.
If Ōtsutsuki Isshiki actually learned about Sasuke's power, he'd definitely think about snatching the Rinnegan for himself—or just flat-out killing Sasuke to eliminate the threat.
That would be the perfect chance to drag those bastards out into the open and make them panic.
Of course, the original plan to have Sasuke use his ability to hunt Ōtsutsuki Isshiki down directly would still stay in play.
"A-All right, Lord Second," someone stammered. "Please don't get pissed after you hear this."
With Shikamaru giving them the nod, the group took turns spelling out the whole messy situation.
"Wait here," Tobirama said once they finished, his face turning completely ashen. "I will return shortly."
The thought that his bare ass had been seen by all these juniors made him want to carve that naturally evil Uchiha Sasuke to pieces!
But before doing that, he had to confirm one thing.
Tobirama marched back to the monitoring room where he had been staying and booted up the surveillance footage.
Finally, he saw exactly what the hell went down.
Because Sasuke had used Chibaku Tensei to rip the building apart, the outdoor security cameras had recorded the entire incident without a single obstruction.
Sasuke used Amenotejikara to swap places with Naruto just as the kid was taking off…
Tobirama couldn't stomach watching the rest, so he just mashed the fast-forward button.
Finally, he saw a literal chunk of his body suddenly vanish from the screen.
This was probably the exact bullshit the younger generation had just mentioned.
The footage kept rolling until this morning.
Sasuke, having come back, knocked Naruto on his ass yet again, then walked back over to Tobirama's side looking nervous.
After pretending to chat with him for a few seconds, Sasuke's expression suddenly shifted at an angle Tobirama couldn't see.
Immediately after, Sasuke clutched his eye and dropped weakly to one knee.
At the time, Tobirama hadn't noticed a thing.
But now it was painfully obvious that Sasuke had used his ability again.
As for who the hell he used it on, Tobirama couldn't tell.
That was right when his idiot elder brother Hashirama came back.
Senju Hashirama hadn't had his chakra sucked dry, nor was he a defective "vessel" like Uchiha Madara, so his sensory abilities were still busted.
Faced with the mysterious object zooming straight toward him, Hashirama slapped his hands together instantly.
Trees erupted from the ground, tightly binding the airborne object that had been gearing up to slap right back onto its owner's body!
Only after getting a good look at what he'd actually caught did Senju Hashirama scratch his head in total confusion.
He muttered, "This doesn't look like Madara's ass, does it?"
Clearly, Hashirama had seen Madara's ass before, but not his own younger brother's.
Or maybe he had seen it, but only back when they were brats, so he had long since forgotten.
---------
Read 40 chapters ahead and support me on patreon.
patreon (.)com/Newbietranslator