Senju Hashirama learned from Sasuke, who had just hurried over, that the "hidden weapon" he had restrained was, in fact, his younger brother Tobirama's ass cheek.
Hashirama instantly froze in absolute embarrassment.
At the same time, he started sweating bullets.
If Tobirama ever found out he had done some shit like this, his younger brother would definitely chew his head off again.
So Hashirama literally begged Sasuke to keep it a damn secret.
As for why Tobirama's ass cheek had turned into a "hidden weapon" in the first place, Hashirama didn't bother thinking too deeply about it.
And so, in this absurd reversal of order, Sasuke actually agreed to help Hashirama cover the whole thing up.
Hashirama released his Wood Release, and the ass cheek finally snapped back onto its proper body.
"…"
Senju Tobirama was profoundly depressed.
Once again, his idiot elder brother had gone behind his back and gotten tangled up with an Uchiha.
And then there was Uchiha Sasuke.
Tobirama originally thought Sasuke might be able to break the Uchiha clan's curse and actually be an exception, but in the end, he was exactly the damn same.
In his obsessive pursuit of power, just to train his Rinnegan dōjutsu, Sasuke hadn't hesitated to pull some foul thing like this on him.
Where is his moral bottom line?
Wearing a deadpan expression, Senju Tobirama returned.
"I've already confirmed everything," he said. "Whatever you want to know, I can tell you now."
"That's right. Uchiha Sasuke awakened a Rinnegan dōjutsu and it's a space-time type. Combined with the information-gathering Mangekyō dōjutsu he already had, he can pull off space-time transfers even better than Kakashi."
"You can think of it as a Flying Thunder God Technique that doesn't need any physical contact or a marked formula, yet can still swap positions or teleport."
"What?"
"The Rinnegan?"
"Lord Second, we'll absolutely keep this confidential."
Shigaraki Tanuki never expected Tobirama to just dump such critical intel so easily.
It left him completely reeling.
"Um, Lord Second," he stammered, "why don't you slap the Cursed Tongue Eradication Seal on me?"
The Cursed Tongue Eradication Seal was a nasty technique Danzo used to keep Root members from leaking intel.
On the surface, it looked like a basic seal slapped on the tongue, but in reality, it did way more than just stop a guy from talking.
Even writing or making eye contact was completely impossible.
As long as the person even thought about leaking information, their entire body would paralyze, and they could even end up with permanent brain damage.
"There's no need. This information isn't top-secret, spreading it around might actually act as a deterrent and promote peace and harmony in the shinobi world."
Tobirama had already figured on using Sasuke's intel as bait.
Now that his idiot brother and Sasuke had been so heartless, they couldn't blame him, Senju Tobirama, for being a ruthless bastard in return!
His blade wasn't exactly dull either.
Jiraiya could write smut.
Kakashi could write bizarre books.
Then couldn't Tobirama also cook up a rumor based on reality and use it to bait Ōtsutsuki Isshiki into exposing a weakness?
"Promote peace and harmony?"
Aside from Shikamaru, who looked completely lost in thought, the rest of the younger generation just looked confused.
"Sasuke's Mangekyō dōjutsu is information-based," Tobirama explained. "That means if anyone in the entire shinobi world wants to scheme in secret, as long as they leave even the slightest opening, every piece of their plan will be exposed. No one will be able to hide in the shadows and stir up trouble."
"And because he also has a Rinnegan dōjutsu, those plotting in the dark won't just be exposed—they'll be completely unable to hide or run away. Do you get it now?"
Strictly speaking, what Tobirama said wasn't wrong.
Leaking Sasuke's dōjutsu actually had several advantages.
"So that's how it is…"
Everyone suddenly caught on.
"You're all fine kids from Konoha's younger generation. The time has come. There's some thing you need to know. Follow me."
As Tobirama spoke, he led the group through the area for a bit before arriving at the monitoring room.
He pulled up the footage he had already censored.
He hadn't completely lost his sense of decency.
For the sake of the younger generation's mental health, he'd slapped some heavy mosaics on it.
"This is how Sasuke awakened the Rinnegan. The fusion of Indra's chakra and Asura's chakra forcefully dragged out the power of the Rinnegan," Tobirama explained with a deadpan expression.
But at this point, the kids couldn't hear a word of his explanation.
The Sage of Six Paths, the Rinnegan, Asura, Indra—none of that information was anywhere near as shocking as the unholy scene playing out right in front of their eyes.
Everyone watched the whole process of Sasuke tucking Naruto away like some secret mistress and plundering his power…
Hinata's suspended heart finally died.
"Naruto-kun…"
"…Hyūga Hinata, why are you activating your Byakugan? This is electronic surveillance footage. The Byakugan can't see through the people inside a screen. If you use it, all you're gonna see is the machinery behind the monitor."
Senju Tobirama suddenly made a confused noise and looked toward the young girl shivering in the corner.
"Huh?"
Everyone was still reeling in shock, but the second the Hokage called her out, they all whipped their heads toward Hinata.
Even though Hinata frantically shut off her Byakugan, everyone still caught it.
That classic sight of the bulging veins around her eyes.
Hinata had actually used the thing.
What exactly had Hinata been trying to peek at with her Byakugan?
Noticing everyone's weird stares, Hinata immediately turned into a little steam train.
Her face flushed completely scarlet, and she straight-up fainted on the spot.
"No way! Is Hinata actually a massive closet pervert just like Kakashi-sensei?"
Sakura hurried forward and caught the unconscious Hinata, muttering a complaint under her breath.
'Are there any normal people left in this damn shinobi world?'
They were all either openly shameless or secretly perverted.
"Lord Second? How did things get like this?" Shikamaru couldn't help asking. "Why did Sasuke and Naruto turn out this way? Is it because of that chakra reincarnation whatever?"
Makoto had once suggested he pretend to be a gay shinobi just to avoid attracting female ninjas.
Shikamaru knew he was just faking it.
But he never expected to run face-first into the real thing!
Shikamaru started to panic a little.
He'd once considered supporting Naruto after the idiot became Hokage.
Fortunately, that idea had already been scrapped.
Otherwise, he, Nara Shikamaru, might've ended up as Naruto's "life assistant" or "personal secretary."
When there was work, the secretary handled it.
When there was no work… the hokage handle the secretary!
Absolutely terrifying!
"You guessed right, Nara boy," Tobirama said. "Naruto and Sasuke, as well as my elder brother Hashirama and Madara, all developed these screwed-up personalities because of the reincarnations of Asura's and Indra's chakra."
"But if we trace this back to the source, the real cause lies in what went down between the Sage of Six Paths and his younger brother, Ōtsutsuki Hamura—the ancestor of the Hyūga clan's Byakugan."
Reaching this point, Tobirama shot a look at Hyūga Hinata, who had supposedly fainted away.
He had already seen right through her act. Hinata had actually woken up.
In truth, after she collapsed, Sakura had slapped the Mystical Palm Technique on her chest, waking her up.
But Hinata didn't dare actually open her eyes, so she was just stuck playing dead.
"Could it be like what was written in that book?" Inuzuka Kiba asked, looking utterly shocked the second he heard Tobirama mention this.
"The Sage of Six Paths coveted the Tailed Beasts and actually got the Six-Tails pregnant?"
"No. That's just the plot of some trash novel. Don't take that garbage seriously."
The corner of Tobirama's mouth twitched hard, and he decisively shut that down.
"The truth is this: the Sage of Six Paths coveted the beauty of his own younger brother, Ōtsutsuki Hamura. Using the Byakugan's sensory abilities, Hamura caught onto his elder brother's beastly intentions."
"To avoid falling victim to his brother's vile schemes, Ōtsutsuki Hamura ran straight to their mother, Ōtsutsuki Kaguya, and snitched on him. And then…"
-------
Idk why but i laugh when someone ask 'who is the pairing', how do i explain it lmao