After the formula was successfully installed, Madara sat in his wheelchair and took a deep breath.
Pain.
A long-lost sensation.
Before, even though his body felt frail and pathetic, that weakness had been totally hollow and illusory.
He didn't have any actual physical sensation to back it up.
Now, this was real.
Honestly, nobody could blame Pain for constantly yammering on about "pain."
As the original owner of the Rinnegan, Uchiha Madara clearly shared that exact same twisted tendency.
He genuinely liked the sense of reality that pain brought.
Back in the original timeline, during the Fourth Shinobi World War, the very first thing Madara did after getting properly revived via Rinne Tensei was literally bite his own arm.
After that, he deliberately tanked attacks and laughed like a maniac just to feel the pain.
"Mm."
While Madara closed his eyes and breathed deeply, Hashirama had already scooped up his mountain of snacks and started happily stuffing his face.
He even remembered to shove a grilled sausage right into Madara's mouth!
Madara didn't refuse.
Enjoying the taste of food was just another way to feel alive.
Even though he hadn't truly been resurrected yet and was just relying on a fancy formula to experience a physical genjutsu, Madara firmly believed that a genuine resurrection wasn't far off.
Hashirama pushed Madara's wheelchair straight out of the experimental base.
After all, the lab wasn't a cafeteria.
Gorging themselves in front of Orochimaru would have been a little too inappropriate.
Hashirama wheeled Madara onward, gearing up to track down the Flying Raijin squad and teleport straight to Konoha.
"By the way, Madara, should we use the Transformation Technique? Otherwise, dressed like this, we're gonna stick out like a sore thumb."
As they walked, Hashirama pitched the suggestion.
The two of them were currently rocking deep red, Warring States-period armor—completely out of place in the modern era.
More importantly, their faces were way too famous.
Those two massive statues at the Valley of the End were literal historic landmarks.
Even folks born decades after they died knew exactly what they looked like. And even if a person had never visited the valley, anybody in Konoha just had to glance up at the Hokage Rock to recognize Hashirama.
Add in the glaring cracked skin and black sclera of their Edo Tensei bodies, and it was a recipe for disaster.
All of that would completely wreck their quiet observation and casual sightseeing.
"That is acceptable. However..."
Madara raised a hand.
His arm trembled violently before dropping back onto the wheelchair's armrest with a heavy thud.
"I cannot use any ninjutsu by myself right now."
Madara approved of Hashirama's idea.
If they could transform, they absolutely should.
In his current pathetic wheelchair-bound state, walking around with Uchiha Madara's face was a straight-up insult to his own legacy.
It was completely unworthy of the name Uchiha Madara!
It was much better to hide.
Besides, his name was way too legendary.
If Konoha still had some hot-blooded idiots looking to make a name for themselves who insisted on challenging him, it would be annoying as hell.
"No problem! I'll help you out." Hashirama flashed a grin.
With a quick hand seal, he transformed into his younger self. Then he slapped a hand onto Madara's shoulder and transformed Madara into a kid too.
However, compared to the original young Madara, Hashirama threw in a few "thoughtful" artistic additions: two massive dark circles under his eyes and hollowed-out cheeks, making him look like a sickly drained little boy!
This way, it wouldn't look weird for him to be sitting in a wheelchair.
Because Hashirama knew Madara's chakra was pathetic right now, he deliberately pumped extra chakra into the jutsu to keep the transformation from breaking.
And just like that, the duo arrived in Konoha.
Hashirama excitedly wheeled Madara all over the place.
Even though touring Konoha was originally just a bullshit excuse in Madara's master plan, and his true target was still Sunagakure, he still couldn't ignore his roots.
Just like that weird song Hashirama had played for him earlier went—great Konoha was ultimately still his homeland.
Madara couldn't help but observe it closely.
As they strolled, a massive burst of noise erupted from up ahead.
"Looks like a party! Let's go!" Hashirama struck a dynamic pose that practically screamed, 'let's go!' and charged forward, pushing the wheelchair at top speed.
The person standing on the stage was the Hokage, Tsunade.
She was officially announcing the results of the Nara clan's internal competition.
Nara Shikamaru had snagged first place.
From now on, he could kick back, soak up the Nara clan's fat stipend, fully embrace the slacker lifestyle, and never take another mission again!
He was legally allowed to do whatever the hell he wanted!
Nara Shikaku had landed in second place and tragically had to keep busting his ass as the clan head.
He wouldn't get another shot at escaping that cursed job until the next full-clan competition, or maybe his eventual retirement.
Tsunade broadcasted the results from up high, while the crowd below ate up the drama.
Shikamaru then took the stage to recount exactly how he had cracked the case.
Conveniently, this also let him knock out his current S-rank mission—spreading the story.
As he talked, the topic inevitably swerved right into Sasuke's Rinnegan.
It was purely thanks to that busted Rinnegan dōjutsu that Sasuke managed to pull off his unbelievable string of crimes.
Madara silently logged all this fresh intel into his brain.
Ideally, he still wanted to reclaim his own original Rinnegan.
But if Nagato's faction proved too tough or had too much backup, he could pivot, snatch Sasuke's Rinnegan first to get a power boost, and then hunt down his own eyes later.
Of course, the massive prerequisite for all of this was pulling off a successful resurrection.
With his current frail body, he couldn't even beat Sasuke in a fistfight, let alone survive whatever nasty traps that bastard Tobirama had definitely set up around the kid.
"Dad, why don't our clan hold a big-eater contest too?"
"Great idea! The winner gets first pick of the clan's premium ingredients from now on!"
"Awesome!"
The Akimichi father-son duo watched the Nara clan's ceremony from the sidelines with sparkling eyes.
They immediately started brainstorming their own clan competition.
Not because they actually wanted to fight for a title, though.
They just wanted to experience the competition itself. In other words, they just wanted an excuse to gorge themselves on a massive feast!
After enjoying the spectacle, Hashirama ditched Madara once again to go hunt for more snacks.
At this point, Madara seriously started wondering.
'Was Hashirama the secret product of some weird political marriage between his father and the Akimichi clan? Why the hell is the guy such a massive glutton?'
"Hey, where are you from? How come I've never seen you around the village before?"
A bratty voice snapped Madara out of his thoughts.
Madara glanced over.
It was just a generic Konoha brat, not even wearing a forehead protector.
Probably some Academy kid who hadn't even graduated yet.
Behind the kid stood a whole gang of similar runts.
Madara ignored them and shut his eyes.
"Attack!"
Seeing that the sickly kid not only ignored him but actually looked at him with contempt, the brat flew into a rage.
He leaped up and kicked Madara straight out of his wheelchair!
"Nice one, boss!"
"You sickly little outsider! You come to Konoha begging for scraps and still have the nerve to act arrogant?!"
"Everyone, jump him! Beat him up!"
Spurred on by the shouting, the entire gang of brats rushed forward and started mercilessly jumping Uchiha Madara.
And since Hashirama had heavily reinforced the Transformation Jutsu... well, a powerful ninja could easily make a transformation tank a decent amount of damage without breaking.
With Hashirama's god-tier chakra backing it up, a full-power Transformation Jutsu sure as hell wasn't going to get undone by a few weak kicks from some Academy toddlers.
And so, Uchiha Madara got to personally experience a classic Konoha specialty—the exact same rite of passage Kushina, Guy, Obito, Itachi, Hinata, Naruto, and countless others had all gone through.
Getting bullied!
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This chapter makes me laugh so much when i imagine it lmao