Madara never imagined these little brats could be so naturally evil.
They didn't even exchange a few words before throwing hands.
He hadn't uttered a single words, yet they'd already shoved him to the dirt and started wailing on him.
Academy brats might be young, but they were already way stronger than ordinary civilians.
Even a kid like Naruto, who used to be the dead-last failure and couldn't beat anyone in a fight, still had the strength to scale walls and splash paint—and even shit—all over the village.
Sure, Madara had used this frail vessel to wipe out a bunch of bandits recently, but those were just regular guys.
On top of that, Madara had prepped in advance, and the bandits brought their own knives and weapons.
That let him rely on his insane combat experience, borrowing the sharpness of their own blades to slaughter them.
But these little brats attacked with no warning, using nothing but their bare fists.
It instantly triggered the classic scenario of a legendary grandmaster getting beaten to a pulp by a swarm of random punches!
Madara frantically tried to deactivate the sensory formula and shut off his pain receptors, only to suddenly realize he couldn't mobilize his chakra at all!
The pathetic trickle of chakra left in his system was entirely tied up just keeping his basic bodily functions running.
He couldn't spare a single drop.
His control was just as garbage. Madara's current chakra control was like an old lady with Parkinson's trying to use chopsticks, shaking like she'd just been electrocuted.
If he wanted that formula turned off, he needed someone else to flip the switch for him.
"Thousand Years of Death!"
"ALUBAAA!"
"Dieeeee!"
The little brats got more and more hyped as they ganged up on him.
They discovered that no matter how hard they beat up this countryside outsider, he didn't show a single bruise and refused to cry out.
It was like they'd found themselves the ultimate human punching bag!
"YAMEROOOO!"
Suddenly, a grief-stricken roar ripped through the street.
Young Hashirama stood at the end of the block, hauling bags and packages in both hands.
The second he processed the scene, intense anger and sorrow gripped him that all his groceries hit the dirt.
"Mada—!"
Hashirama almost screamed the name, but caught himself at the last second.
Remembering they were supposed to be undercover, he frantically pivoted.
"Mada... mada da ne!"
The gang of kids froze.
They hadn't expected another massive edgelord to pop up in the village now that Sasuke had graduated.
"You mushroom-headed country bumpkin, you got a death wish or something? You're ugly as hell and still yelling that loud? You wanna taste our Konoha-specialty taijutsu just like your friend?"
The ringleader stepped up, planting his hands on his hips and pointing a mocking finger at Hashirama.
"What did you just say?"
Hashirama stood completely stunned.
Were these really Konoha's children?
Jumping Madara was bad enough, but they were actually going against their own conscience to insult a righteous, handsome First Hokage like him?!
Did Konoha still have law and order? Did justice even exist anymore?
He was absolutely furious!
Unlike Madara, Hashirama's chakra wasn't restricted.
The only thing he had to worry about right now was throttling his own ridiculous strength so he didn't accidentally punch a toddler into a red mist.
"Today, I'll educate you in place of your parents!"
With a massive leap, Hashirama launched himself at the brats.
The kids didn't even flinch.
Beating the crap out of Madara had completely inflated their egos.
"Ow!"
"Ah!"
"Help—!"
Hashirama effortlessly swept the kids off their feet, knocking them down one by one.
He even casually snagged a leftover wooden skewer from a grilled sausage and jammed it right into one kid's armpit.
"Stop!" a voice barked from a nearby rooftop. "You've gone way too far! Which village are you from? You're a whole age group older than them, yet you came all the way to Konoha just to bully Academy kids?"
An orange-haired little girl dropped down into the alley.
"Little girl, you need to be reasonable. These punks were the ones who jumped my friend first! Look, my friend is still lying right there!"
Hashirama grew increasingly irritated.
Back when Konoha was first founded, everyone had been so simple and honest.
Heck, if Madara tried to help someone up off the street, the person would still be completely terrified of him.
But now? He'd heard rumors that modern Konoha had a rampant bullying problem.
Kids bullied each other from the Academy all the way to the grave, and they didn't even care how strong their target was
Just how morally bankrupt had this village become?
"Huh?"
The newcomer was Moegi from Konohamaru's squad.
She wasn't much older than the rest, but since she actually qualified as Konohamaru's teammate, she packed way more of a punch than your average Academy student.
The second she showed up, the other brats instantly shut their mouths.
They fully planned on letting Moegi handle the heavy lifting!
But Moegi never expected the actual troublemakers were the kids on the ground.
"We didn't! If you don't believe us, check that guy! He doesn't have a single scratch on him!"
"Yeah, exactly! We're the ones covered in bruises, and he's totally fine! He's faking it on purpose!"
The kids talked over each other, lying straight through their teeth without blinking an eye.
Hashirama was so pissed he nearly dropped his transformation just to slap every single one of them.
When he ran up, he'd literally watched them play Aluba with Madara's crotch with his own two eyes.
And now they were still making excuses, even flipping the script to accuse the victim!
Even after all of Konoha's sweeping reforms, was there really nothing but a thin veneer of fake prosperity on the surface? Konoha's roots were rotten, its trunk was rotten, and only a flimsy layer of bark and leaves remained!
If the leaves of Konoha fell and became nutrients just to feed little monsters like these, then the future of the shinobi world was doomed to chaos.
Good people sacrificed their lives to become nourishment, only to feed pure evil?
Still flat on the ground, Madara laughed coldly.
"So this is the great peace you wanted me to see? Ha—Hachimi! Ask yourself honestly... do they deserve to enjoy this peace? Does Konoha deserve it?"
"Mada—Mada mada da ne! You can't just deny all of Konoha because of a massive pile of isolated incidents. If you think Konoha is broken, then you should fix it!"
Hashirama had actually started feeling the exact same way a second ago, but the moment Madara insisted on condemning the entire village, Hashirama's hesitation instantly flipped into stubborn resistance.
"What kind of weird names are those?" Moegi looked back and forth between them, completely lost.
One of them was named "Hachimi," and the other guy was named "Mada mada da ne"?
"Um, you two can argue later." Snapping back to reality, Moegi quickly stepped between them and looked down at Madara.
"So you really don't have a single scratch on you? You were just faking it?"
"..."
"Dammit, say something!" Seeing Madara fall dead silent, Hashirama instantly panicked.
"What exactly am I supposed to say? Explain myself to these inferior creatures?" Madara shot Hashirama a frigid glare.
Getting jumped by toddlers was humiliating enough.
Now he was supposed to personally admit it out loud?
"Then what do you want us to do?" Hashirama, completely speechless, lobbed the question right back.
"Either uproot these tumors from Konoha and eliminate them permanently, or walk away and let them fester. Close your eyes and pretend you saw absolutely nothing. I'll just consider myself unlucky for tagging along with you this time," Madara stated flatly.
Madara hadn't expected this humiliating accident, but he definitely knew how to weaponize it. Hashirama would absolutely feel guilty over this mess.
That meant Madara would have way more room to maneuver his actual plans moving forward.
"What?" Hashirama hadn't expected Madara to throw down an ultimatum like that.
Just to force him into a corner, Madara was actually willing to swallow his own humiliation?
'Swallow my humiliation, my ass,' Madara thought viciously.
'The second I get revived, the very first thing I'm doing is dropping a Tengai Shinsei right on top of this damn village!'
...
Aluba (also known as "happy corner") is a type of school prank or hazing—most common in adolescent male peer cultures in East and Southeast Asia—where a victim is lifted up by their arms and legs by several perpetrators and has their groin repeatedly bumped or rubbed against a pole, tree, or similar object.