"You're... that boy from Iwagakure, right? Looks like you grew into quite the fine shinobi."
Hashirama took a second to study his face, but he successfully pinned down Ōnoki's identity.
Senju Hashirama didn't suffer from Might Guy's chronic face-blindness!
Back when the hidden villages first sprang up, Hashirama hadn't developed a shred of bias between them.
He treated shinobi from outside borders exactly like he treated his own people in Konoha.
Whenever he spotted raw talent from a rival village, he genuinely celebrated it.
A classic example was Kakuzu, the guy who literally tried to assassinate him.
Naturally, Ōnoki made the cut too.
"Yes. Edo Tensei, I see? Sigh. Compared to you, Lord Hashirama, I still fall far short. I'm already this old yet I still carry quite a few regrets."
Ōnoki easily recognized that the Senju Hashirama standing in front of him was an Edo Tensei.
Since Amegakure's Akatsuki contribution-point services had already made headlines across the entire ninja world, he wasn't too shocked.
Instead, it felt like he had just bumped into a respected elder he could finally confide in, prompting him to spill what was weighing heavily on his chest.
Hashirama hailed from the exact same generation as the First Tsuchikage.
And the First Tsuchikage, Ishikawa, served as Ōnoki's very first sensei back in his youth.
As the Third Tsuchikage, Ōnoki's track record actually mirrored Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage.
Both men had inherited their teachings directly from their village's First and Second leaders.
"Regrets, huh? In truth, a person's life is always packed with things left unfinished. We don't necessarily have to cross every finish line ourselves. As long as we nurture the people standing behind us and let them inherit our will, they can keep walking that path in our place... Isn't your granddaughter, the Fourth Tsuchikage, doing a fantastic job?" Hashirama offered, his words bleeding comfort and guidance.
"Kurotsuchi is indeed doing well. That is exactly why I need to settle my regrets before I kick the bucket." Ōnoki accepted the praise, but his tone immediately took a sharp turn.
"Why?" Hashirama stared, completely lost. "If you groom the next generation and pass the torch, shouldn't you be able to die without a single regret? When the time comes, death will feel like a cool breast... wait, no, a cool summer night, where a guy can finally sleep peacefully without a care in the world."
"Because I don't get to do that." Ōnoki stared up at the clouds and let out a heavy sigh, his weathered face practically dripping with sorrow.
"I know my granddaughter's personality. I bet before my first seven days of mourning even wrap up, she'll have me dragged back from the pure land via Edo Tensei!"
"Uh. Right."
Hashirama rubbed the back of his neck, looking painfully embarrassed.
Only then did it click that the Edo Tensei had basically become a household utility.
The kicker? That unholy jutsu was literally invented by his own younger brother, Tobirama!
"But isn't that better?" Hashirama countered. "You get to keep contributing to your village and protecting your people."
"Sure. But when that happens, will I ever get a chance to rest? Will I ever get a spare second to make up for my own regrets?"
"..."
That loaded question completely gagged Hashirama.
His mind instantly flashed to Sarutobi Hiruzen.
Also a Third Kage.
Also an ancient old man.
The second Tsunade dragged Hiruzen back via Edo Tensei, she shamelessly weaponized him as a 24/7 labor tool.
After all, everyone knew Edo Tensei didn't get tired, didn't need sleep, couldn't die, and basically ran on infinite chakra.
Tsunade and Kurotsuchi shared a pretty similar temperament, too.
Sure, toward elderly seniors and fragile old folks, they were totally willing to show some basic respect.
Take right now, for example—Ōnoki was currently kicking back, enjoying a peaceful retirement.
But if the guy actually died and got slapped with an Edo Tensei tag?
At that point, death wouldn't be a cool summer night.
It would be a sweltering summer night spent hauling concrete bricks on a construction site!
"Tell you what. Tell me exactly what your regrets are, and I'll see if I can help you squash them." Hashirama decided to step up and play the warmhearted genie granting final wishes.
"Mm..." Ōnoki didn't refuse.
Like before, in his eyes, Hashirama was an esteemed elder from his beloved teacher's era.
Right now, Ōnoki was basically a kid baring his soul to a trusted grandparent.
'Uh.'
Framing it like that... a certain Uchiha Madara, who was currently abusing his elder status to ruthlessly pursue a "child" like Granny Chiyo, really was an absolute bastard.
The guy deserved to get struck by a lightning bolt!
...
And so, Ōnoki and Hashirama strolled out of the village, talking as they walked.
Ōnoki was currently down to just two major regrets.
He didn't stress over Iwagakure anymore.
Kurotsuchi had been sitting in the Tsuchikage seat for a while now, and he'd witnessed her solid track record with his own two eyes.
His first regret, however, involved the jinchūriki.
His nasty falling-out with Rōshi pushed the guy to live outside the village for years.
Then there was Han, who isolated himself just to train.
Because of that, even though Iwagakure proudly claimed ownership of two jinchūriki on paper, in reality, they couldn't deploy a single one of them in actual combat.
This issue burned especially hot now that he had caught wind of the Ōtsutsuki threat, not to mention a few sketchy rogue actors actively hunting Tailed Beasts.
With those two jinchūriki wandering the wilderness solo, they were walking targets.
"So you're just sweating over the safety of two old friends? I might not be able to drag them back myself, but I can definitely pull some strings to help you get them home."
At first, Hashirama had listened with a heavy scowl, assuming Ōnoki was just pissed that Iwagakure was missing two heavy-hitter weapons.
If that was the case, it meant the stubborn old goat was still itching to spark a war.
But after hearing the full context, Hashirama realized Ōnoki genuinely just feared for his old buddies' lives.
In that case, there was no problem.
"Truly?" Hearing that promise, Ōnoki's eyes instantly lit up.
If Senju Hashirama wanted to muscle two jinchūriki into submission, it would be a total cakewalk.
But brute-forcing them would only treat the symptoms, not the festering root of the problem.
That was exactly why Hashirama offered to "pull strings."
This immediately tipped Ōnoki off to the organization Deidara was currently running with.
In truth, he could have just swallowed his pride, mentioned it to Kurotsuchi, and let her request the backup.
But the hurdle was exactly as stated before: Ōnoki could spill his guts to Hashirama because he viewed him as an elder.
Could Ōnoki really choke down his massive ego and confess his insecurities to his bratty granddaughter? She would absolutely laugh in his face!
And aside from the jinchūriki dilemma, there was another classic demon haunting him.
Ōnoki recounted how he had once tagged along with Mū to meet Uchiha Madara, only to get traumatized by a towering Susanoo.
That encounter completely shattered his Will of Stone, turning him into a stubborn, ruthless utilitarian who cowered in the face of absolute power.
For the very first time, he tasted what it actually meant to get crushed by a literal god.
Sure, his Dust Release could technically chew through a Susanoo's armor, but so what? A basic kunai could theoretically pierce Hashirama's flesh too.
Did that mean any idiot holding a piece of sharp iron actually thought they could assassinate the God of Shinobi?
From that day forward, Ōnoki basically inherited "Uchiha Madara's will."
He completely bought into the twisted ideology that raw power dictated absolutely everything.
Anyone stronger than him was an untouchable equal.
Anyone weaker than him was sorted into a ruthless, rigid hierarchy.
If his strength eclipsed an opponent's, he would strike with no restraint or mercy.
But if he was outgunned, or if throwing hands threatened his bottom line, he would scheme up every excuse in the book to dodge the conflict and bail.
Even during the peak of the Shinobi World Wars, Ōnoki never once entertained the thought of risking his neck against the enemy's apex fighters.
Even though firing off a Dust Release would inject a massive morale boost into his troops—and could easily one-shot the enemy commander—he never once pulled the trigger.
"You were traumatized by Madara?" Hashirama's expression morphed into something incredibly weird.
He couldn't personally squash the first regret, but this second one... Madara was currently an Edo Tensei too, and his vessel was pathetically fragile.
Should he just drag Ōnoki over there to face his demon?
'Chotto matte...'
Hashirama suddenly hatched a delightfully evil idea.