"...So he really is the Second Mizukage?"
"Now this is impressive! Powerhouses from all over the shinobi world have converged here. Seems like Kumogakure is the only one missing from the party."
After Gengetsu Hōzuki officially proved his identity, the group of girls wasn't shocked by his legendary status.
Instead, they just started sighing in deep awe over Granny Chiyo's world-conquering charm.
"Speaking of which, has the Raikage's faction reincarnated any previous Raikage via Edo Tensei yet?"
"No idea. Probably not, right?"
Ever since they found out that Gengetsu Hōzuki had been actively resurrected by the current Mizukage to solve domestic issues, the group immediately started wondering if the other villages were exploiting the exact same loophole.
If the Third Raikage had been dragged back through the Edo Tensei, and if he also harbored a secret, burning love for Granny Chiyo, wouldn't Granny Chiyo get to personally taste his legendary Hell Stab: One-Finger?
That move was allegedly even more devastating than the special secret technique passed down by Shizune's relative, Dan Katō.
Originally, the girls had planned to track down Granny Chiyo immediately to expose the truth, but now their imaginations were running wild, and they started dragging their feet.
"What are you looking for?" Gengetsu scratched his head, totally confused by their weird whispering.
"N-Nothing!" The girls frantically waved their hands in denial.
"...Just hurry up and take me there. Stop looking around for the Raikage. He isn't going to show up." The corner of Gengetsu's mouth twitched violently, but he forcefully suppressed the urge to snap at them.
He mentally comforted himself. 'The shinobi world is currently in an era of unprecedented peace. Times have changed. The Five Great Shinobi Villages are fully united against alien threats. This is a good thing! I have to treat the younger generation from other villages with the exact same patience I show to kids from my own. As a senior from Kirigakure, I have to be the first to display dignity, elegance, and grace.'
"Huh? Second Mizukage-senpai, how do you know the Raikage won't come?"
"I don't know for a fact. But I thoroughly understand the Third Raikage's core personality."
"Personality? What does personality have to do with true love? Even a psychopathic warmonger with Uchiha Madara's personality became totally obsessed with Granny Chiyo."
"..."
Gengetsu was completely speechless.
When he mentioned "personality," he meant that the Third Raikage was a hotheaded meathead who wouldn't be nearly as wise, subtle, or tactical as him.
If the Third Raikage suspected Uchiha Madara was brewing a conspiracy, he would just charge straight in, start throwing hands, and then try to kill—no, seal Uchiha Madara by force.
In any scenario, there was absolutely no chance the Third Raikage would be as noble and brilliant as Gengetsu, actively willing to endure deep humiliation and sacrifice his own pristine reputation just to infiltrate the enemy and investigate the truth.
But Gengetsu couldn't just shatter these young girls' dramatic romantic fantasy.
Otherwise, if they found out Uchiha Madara and Granny Chiyo weren't locked in some sweet, star-crossed twilight romance, but were actually the center of a dark, world-ending conspiracy, what if their minds collapsed and they flat-out refused to guide him?
What if they sprinted straight to Uchiha Madara, interrogated him on the spot, and accidentally alerted the snake in the grass?
'Endure,' he told himself.
"You're right about Madara. However, there is a crucial detail you don't know. The Third Raikage actually strictly preferred men. He had a deeply unspeakable, intimate relationship with his Eight-Tails jinchūriki," Gengetsu casually pivoted, flashing a smooth smile.
As for shamelessly slandering the Third Raikage?
For the sake of the entire shinobi world's safety, he had already thrown his own reputation into the gutter by claiming to be one of Granny Chiyo's desperate pursuers.
Couldn't the Third Raikage sacrifice a little dignity for the greater good, too?
Besides, what if the absolute garbage he just made up actually turned out to be true?
"What?! The Third Raikage was also GAY?!" The girls gasped in pure shock.
"Mm, yes—wait, hm?! What do you mean, also?" Gengetsu nodded sagely, then immediately realized he tripped over a weird landmine.
"Uh, allegedly! We only heard rumors about it. Apparently, the Fourth Raikage and his current Eight-Tails jinchūriki, Killer B, are already close enough to be considered way closer than just brothers."
"Yeah, yeah! They say the two of them eat at the exact same table, sleep in the exact same bed, and even bathe in the exact same tub together!"
"The Fourth Raikage should be almost fifty by now, right? He still hasn't married a woman! Apparently, it's explicitly because he absolutely refuses to let any woman interfere with his deep 'brotherly bond' with the Eight-Tails jinchūriki."
Three women could practically build an entire theater stage by themselves.
When it came to spreading wild gossip, these girls were apex predators.
Dropping one sentence after another, they seamlessly manifested the forbidden romance between the Fourth Raikage and Killer B into concrete existence.
'?????????'
'Wait, is that actually true?'
'Is the Raikage bloodline seriously going to end with him?'
Gengetsu stood there, totally stunned.
He had literally just made some random crap up off the top of his head, and it turned out to be a multi-generational reality?
No matter how much dirty slander he fabricated about the Third Raikage, the man had at least legally married a woman and produced children.
That historical fact couldn't be erased.
But the Fourth Raikage was pushing fifty and still stubbornly unmarried?
Was that actually a display of true, unyielding brotherhood?
Gengetsu was internally screaming, but on the surface, he maintained a perfectly stoic, calm expression, projecting the unshakeable aura of a seasoned elder who had seen everything the world had to offer and found absolutely none of it strange.
"Ah, yes. That is entirely normal. Kumogakure's famous 'A-B Combo' actually refers to one and zero."
"And based on what you have just described, the current Raikage is actually much more restrained and conservative. Thinking back to the Third Raikage, now that was truly terrifying.
"Did you know the Third Raikage proudly carried two titles? The Strongest Spear and the Strongest Shield! Do you know what that actually implies...?"
"The Third Raikage was both the attacker and the one being attacked?!" Matsuri and Yukata answered in perfect, terrifying unison.
"...Completely correct."
Gengetsu hadn't expected the modern shinobi world's youth to possess such profoundly broad knowledge and such hopelessly filthy minds.
Deep sorrow welled up in his undead heart, but he couldn't let it show on his face.
"The horrific scars on the Third Raikage's body were actually left behind from the intense times when he was the one being attacked. As the attacker, the Third Raikage once nearly played his Eight-Tails jinchūriki to death, and he even completely broke Kakuzu."
Kakuzu: ?
Gengetsu just kept aggressively fabricating rumors about the Third Raikage without a single ounce of psychological burden.
His only genuine regret was that these girls were purely curious about why the Third Raikage hadn't shown up, and not why the Second Tsuchikage—his bitter old rival, Mū—was missing from the roster.
Otherwise, he could have happily spent the next hour fabricating the most unhinged, dirty rumors about Mū.
He could have just casually dropped that Mū actually had a fetish for younger boys, which was exactly why a child who never hit puberty, like Ōnoki, was his favorite...
What a pity.
What a damn pity!
"Wait, but wasn't the First Hokage and Uchiha Madara's relationship exactly like that too? Yet now Madara is out here aggressively pursuing Granny Chiyo," Yukata pointed out logically.
"..."
Yukata's perfectly reasonable question made Gengetsu's smug smile completely freeze.
'Damn it. How did I completely forget about that lore?'
"Ahem. There is a crucial dynamic you do not understand. Look at the facts: the First Hokage caved to societal pressure, married a woman, and had children.
Uchiha Madara is only pursuing Granny Chiyo now because he desperately wants revenge against the First Hokage. His entire twisted thought process is—Fine, if you betrayed me and got married, then I will get married too! If you abandoned our bond and became heterosexual, then I will force myself to become heterosexual as well!
"He does not truly love Chiyo at all!
"And that is precisely why I must step forward and physically stop him right now! If Chiyo were genuinely pursuing her own true love, I would absolutely never stand in her way. As long as I could watch Chiyo live a happy, fulfilled life, even if I was forced to remain alone in the shadows, I would be satisfied.
But Uchiha Madara is different! He is ruthlessly treating Chiyo as a cheap substitute to spite his ex! I will never allow that tragedy to happen! I must stop Uchiha Madara and save Chiyo's happiness!"
The more Gengetsu spoke, the smoother and more passionate his delivery became.
His tone dripped with so much raw, tragic emotion that the three little girls were genuinely moved to tears.
Only Temari noticed something fundamentally wrong with the narrative.
She suddenly remembered some obscure historical gossip.
Apparently, maybe... wasn't the name Gengetsu Hōzuki deeply tied to the legendary, tragic, star-crossed lovers who engaged in a wildly improper relationship with the Second Tsuchikage, Mū—only for the bitter, endless hatred between their two villages to eventually tear them apart?
Supposedly, the "grass" in Kusagakure actually referred to the forbidden, secret union between the Mizukage and the Tsuchikage, and the "Hōzuki" in Hōzuki Castle literally stood for Gengetsu Hōzuki's namesake.
No wonder Gengetsu understood this specific side of human nature so perfectly.
So he himself was actually one of them!
Wait, no!
If Gengetsu was madly in love with Mū, then why the hell was he standing here claiming he deeply admired Granny Chiyo?!
'There was a massive plot hole!'
Temari carefully analyzed the conflicting data and finally reached a horrifying conclusion.
Everything Gengetsu had just said about Madara was actually a psychological projection about himself!
Because Mū had secretly produced descendants who now ran Hōzuki Castle—meaning every single generation of its wardens had names like Mui, Muku, and so on—Gengetsu must have felt betrayed.
Mū had betrayed their bond to have children, so now Gengetsu wanted to ruthlessly betray Mū right back to score petty revenge!
That was the real reason he had come to Sunagakure to hunt down Granny Chiyo!