Gaara wasn't the only one standing there completely baffled.
Down in the plaza outside the Kazekage Building, Pakura—who had recently been revived via Edo Tensei and returned to the village—was just as utterly confused.
Temari, standing right beside her, wore the haggard expression of someone actively beginning to question reality itself.
After returning to the village, Pakura's daily routine consisted of taking a single token mission just to check a box, then spending the rest of her time loitering around the Kazekage Building gathering intel.
She wanted to personally confirm whether the current Kazekage genuinely had the qualifications to hold the seat.
As Rasa's son, Gaara naturally triggered Pakura's deep-rooted distrust from day one.
Pakura's three little fangirls—including Matsuri, who was technically Gaara's own disciple—were a bit too innocent and completely failed to notice her underlying suspicion.
And now, instead of three girls trailing Pakura every day, there were four.
Just to make sure Pakura—a massive, walking unstable variable—didn't try something crazy like assassinating Gaara, Temari had temporarily glued herself to the group.
Honestly, aside from the one daily mission, the group basically just aimlessly wandered the Kazekage Building perimeter.
It wasn't exactly boring, though.
Especially since, under these exact circumstances, they personally watched an endless parade of heavy-hitters barge into the Kazekage Building to demand Chiyo's exact coordinates, only to sprint back out seconds later looking wildly impatient.
Look, Sunagakure definitely produced beauties.
Young or fully grown, they each had their own unique charm.
But why the hell Granny Chiyo?
If you didn't know any better, you'd think Granny Chiyo pulled a Gilgamesh and unilaterally declared that from this day forward, the only sweetheart allowed for any man in the shinobi world could be her, Granny Chiyo!
"Temari-nee, when exactly did Granny Chiyo become our village's must-play... uh, must-see attraction?" Yukata gently poked Temari's arm and whispered.
"How the hell would I know?" Temari rolled her eyes at Yukata, then stroked her chin, genuinely trying to puzzle it out.
"Wait, I remember reading a saying once. Something about wine and age? I think it was from one of those trashy, indecent novels."
"Wine is an old hero—the more you drink, the braver you become?" Matsuri guessed.
"Not that one." Black lines of sheer frustration nearly formed across Temari's forehead.
"You mean, 'Women are like fine wine—the older they get, the richer the taste becomes,' right?" Pakura suddenly chimed in.
"Right, that's the... wait, huh? How do you know that?" Temari stared at her, totally confused.
Pakura hadn't even been back as an Edo Tensei for very long.
How did she already have the dialogue of trashy romance novels memorized?
"Ah—it's nothing! Nothing at all! It was just a coincidence! Temari-nee, don't worry about tiny details like that!"
The three little girls instantly panicked.
They scrambled in front of Pakura, throwing up a human shield while frantically spouting wild, incoherent excuses.
Their dramatic overreaction basically screamed, 'There is absolutely no silver buried here!'
Under Temari's ruthless interrogation, the truth finally cracked.
It turned out the three little girls had been dying of curiosity about the Vigorous Paradise series and the Limited Tsukuyomi series.
But unfortunately, those books were strictly age-restricted and required adult ID to buy.
So, after they successfully revived Pakura in Amegakure, they took her out eating, drinking, and having fun.
At some point during the trip, they "accidentally" conned Pakura into buying the complete, uncensored box set for them.
And since she paid for them anyway, Pakura figured she might as well take the opportunity to skim the content herself.
"You girls really have no shame," Temari sighed, utterly speechless.
"If anyone should be embarrassed, it's Granny Chiyo! When the top beam is crooked, the lower beams go crooked too! If Granny Chiyo is allowed to openly run a massive reverse harem, why aren't we allowed to read a few weird, racy novels?"
Backed into a corner, the three little girls suddenly grew stubborn and started snapping back.
"What do you mean Granny Chiyo is running a harem? Don't spout nonsense without hard evidence! There's absolutely a misunderstanding here. Granny Chiyo is a highly respected, dignified elder of Sunagakure..." Temari's face darkened instantly.
"We don't buy it."
"Unless we literally see it with our own eyes."
"...Fine! We'll go look!" Temari gritted her teeth, finally deciding to march over and drag the truth into the light.
What exactly were all these powerhouse men trying to do with Granny Chiyo?!
Pakura didn't say a word, but she silently tagged along.
Even though she didn't know half the new generation of shinobi, as a proud Sunagakure kunoichi, she knew Granny Chiyo.
Back in the day, as a female ninja, Granny Chiyo must have been Pakura's ultimate goal and idol.
"You know, that actually sounds like a solid excuse."
Not far away, a man rocking a conical hat had eavesdropped on their entire conversation.
He paused, thought it over for a second, and then casually strolled over.
"Who are you?" Pakura instantly locked onto the newcomer, her eyes sharp with vigilance.
"Hey, don't be nervous. Actually, I'm also one of Granny Chiyo's pursuers." The newcomer casually tipped his hat back, revealing his face.
"And you are?" The group exchanged blank looks.
Clearly, not a single person present recognized the guy.
"...Damn it. I told them back then they should have carved me a giant rock monument like Konoha's Hokage Rock!"
The newcomer had originally been smiling and stroking his little pencil mustache, fully prepared to bask in their awestruck, worshipful gazes.
But the second he heard that blunt question, the corner of his mouth violently twitched.
That's right.
The newcomer was none other than the Second Mizukage, Gengetsu Hōzuki!
Thanks to the brutal 'Blood Mist' policy, Kirigakure had previously carried out a massive, systematic purge of its kekkei genkai clans.
Fortunately, the Land of Water's geography was basically custom-built for hiding
If a clan ran out of options, they could just pack up and vanish onto some remote, uncharted island.
Because of that, a decent number of hidden kekkei genkai shinobi were still scattered throughout the region.
However, coaxing those deeply traumatized shinobi into trusting the village again required rebuilding credibility brick by brick.
It absolutely wasn't something that could be fixed overnight.
The surface-level reforms Mei Terumī rolled out just weren't enough to fully wash away the deep-rooted fear and hesitation in their hearts.
Because of that bottleneck, Mei decided she needed a suitable, high-profile representative to personally handle outreach for the kekkei genkai clans.
Since Kirigakure's current talent pool was running dry, they had no choice but to look to the past.
And so, Gengetsu Hōzuki got slapped with an Edo Tensei tag.
Strictly speaking, the Hōzuki clan wasn't actually a kekkei genkai clan.
Their Hydrification Technique was technically closer to a highly guarded secret jutsu, just like the ones used by Konoha's Ino-Shika-Chō trio.
But just like a tyrant storming the palace and slaughtering anyone without a beard, the Hōzuki clan naturally couldn't escape the indiscriminate crossfire of the Blood Mist policy.
Otherwise, Suigetsu never would have ended up running away and throwing himself into Orochimaru's sketchy test tubes.
To the surviving kekkei genkai clans, the Hōzuki clan were victims just like them.
That shared trauma was enough.
If Gengetsu Hōzuki stepped up to the plate, he could genuinely offer them reassurance.
Furthermore, the original architect behind the Blood Mist policy was the Third Mizukage.
It totally didn't matter what the Third's original, noble intentions might have been, or whether the policy got twisted and weaponized by the masked man later on.
No matter how you spun it, the Third Mizukage would only ever be a hated sinner in the eyes of the victims.
That was exactly why the Second Mizukage was the absolute best candidate for the job.
Plus, that goofy little pencil mustache naturally gave him a weirdly approachable, harmless vibe.
So why exactly had the little mustache dragged himself all the way to Sunagakure?
Once again, this was entirely Senju Hashirama's fault!
During Hashirama's grand tour across the Five Great Shinobi Villages, he naturally stopped by Kirigakure.
After learning that Kirigakure had suffered brutally under "Uchiha Madara's" shadowy influence, Hashirama wanted to atone for his old best friend's sins.
So he personally stepped up and filmed a cheesy promotional ad for Kirigakure's struggling tourism industry.
While the cameras were rolling, Hashirama casually let it slip that Madara had also been resurrected via Edo Tensei, and that the guy was currently kicking back in Sunagakure actively trying to woo Granny Chiyo.
Gengetsu Hōzuki was a shinobi from that exact same ancient era.
He had personally crossed paths with the real Uchiha Madara.
The second he caught wind of this absolute nightmare scenario, he instantly benched the kekkei genkai outreach program and decided to go squash this world-ending crisis first.
He had sprinted out of the village in such a massive rush that Mei Terumī literally didn't have time to brief him on the Flying Raijin squad's express service.
As a result, relying entirely on his edotensei stamina, the guy had stubbornly jogged all the way to Sunagakure on foot.
Now that he had accidentally eavesdropped on Temari's group, he found the perfect, reasonable excuse to crash the party!
As for what exactly Uchiha Madara was trying to pull? He didn't have a damn clue.
But as long as Madara wanted to do something, he was going to make sure he actively ruined it!