Chapter 312: Statistically Idle
Inside the crooked wooden shack, Kaito set down the heavy petition from the
Eldritch Realm. The soulfire in his sockets pulsed with a steady, clinical
rhythm.
He had finalized his audit of the report.
The situation in the Tier 5 coordinate was deteriorating, but it was nowhere
near a state of terminal collapse. The "Apex Anomalies" appearing in the Real
World were barely Tier 3—roughly equivalent to the power level of a common
graduate from the Evernight Academy.
Against a threat of this caliber, any one of the Seven Generals could liquidate
the entire planet's infestation in a single afternoon.
"Deploying them would be a waste of logistical Od," Kaito murmured, his
finger-bones tapping a thoughtful beat against the desk.
The Seven Sins were currently buried in the bureaucracy of the Unification.
Their daily itineraries were packed to the threshold. To mobilize them for a
Tier 5 sector would be like using a Dragon-Slaying Cannon to clear a nest of
common rats.
"I shall extract a handful of 'Idle Units' from each legion to process the
request," Kaito decided.
He pushed back his chair and walked to the window, watching the skeletons
toiling in the Valley below.
"And perhaps... I shall perform a personal site-visit."
The light in his eyes flared with a spark of novelty. Truth be told, his
curiosity regarding that coordinate was high. A world of modern tech-logic
infested by Eldritch pests sounded like an ideal exploratory zone.
Furthermore, the "Tribute List" contained several artifacts he had never
archived. Cursed dolls? A blood-red bridal gown? A sentient radio? The names
alone suggested high entertainment value.
"Consider it a 'Sovereign Vacation'," Kaito reasoned.
"The fishing in the river is a statistical failure anyway, and the Chess meta
has been ruined by the park dwellers. A change of atmosphere is a logical
necessity."
Having finalized the directive, Kaito initiated a broad-spectrum Soul Link with
the Seven Generals.
"I have a mission," Kaito's voice resonated in their minds. "I require the
mobilization of a small detachment from each of your legions."
Skele-Pride's voice was the first to ping back, carrying a note of clinical
inquiry. "My Sovereign. Identify the mission objective."
"Transit to a Tier 5 Plane. Liquidation of biological pests designated as
'Anomalies'." Kaito provided a concise summary. "The tactical difficulty is low.
I require only your 'Idle Units'."
The response was instantaneous.
"MY SOVEREIGN!" Pride's voice surged with absolute resolve. "THE PUNISHMENT
LEGION IS AT 100% READINESS! WE ARE STANDING BY TO CLEAR ANY OBSTACLE FROM YOUR
PATH!"
Skele-Wrath's roar followed a micro-second later, his intensity rivaling
Pride's. "Bullshit! The Fearless Vanguard is statistically the most 'Idle'! My
Lord! Deploy us! I guarantee every Anomaly will be pulverized into sub-atomic
dust!"
Skele-Lust's playful yet firm vibration joined the chorus. "Master, the Arcane
Legion has just concluded its primary research cycle. It is the optimal window
to conduct field-testing on our newest gear."
Skele-Gluttony's deep, rumbling voice carried a tone of desperate pleading. "My
Lord... as you are aware, the Aegis Legion is notoriously under-utilized. My
soldiers have spent so much time raising livestock they are beginning to forget
the weight of a shield. We are quite free."
Skele-Envy uncharacteristically chimed in as well. "Sovereign, the Silent
Extinction Legion is currently lacking a primary objective. Aside from the
Calamity Knights, the brothers are essentially counting clouds. Deploy us."
Skele-Sloth's voice even held a rare note of urgency. "Master... Shadow
Guards... standing by... No. We have already deployed... awaiting transit..."
Skele-Greed's voice was the final input. "MY LORD! Though the State Army is
occupied with administrative cycles, I can delegate the paperwork to my
adjuncts! Easing your burden is my most critical function! I am available!"
Kaito's soulfire pulsed with a sharp irritation. He was silent for five long
seconds.
"All of you... are claiming to be 'Idle'?"
"AFFIRMATIVE!"
Seven voices responded in perfect, synchronized lying.
Kaito's jawbone clicked. He felt as though he were being manipulated by his own
subordinates. Usually, these seven spent every cycle screaming about burnout and
demanding more personnel; now, they were suddenly as free as the wind.
"Pride. You stated the new recruit training protocol was only sixty percent
complete."
"REPORTING, MY LORD! TOTAL SYSTEM COMPLETION ACHIEVED ONE MICRO-SECOND BEFORE
YOUR BROADCAST! EVERY RECRUIT HAS PASSED WITH HONORS! THEY ARE READY FOR
DEPLOYMENT!"
"Wrath. You intended to restructure the Vanguard's rotation and tactical
philosophy."
"COMPLETED! ALL PARAMETERS ADJUSTED! THE NEW DOCTRINE IS FLAWLESS! COMBAT
EFFICIENCY HAS SPIKED BY TWO HUNDRED PERCENT!"
"Lust. Your research project was hitting a structural wall."
"MY LORD, THE DATA STABILIZED AUTOMATICALLY UPON THE MANIFESTATION OF YOUR WILL!
IT IS A STATISTICAL MIRACLE! TRULY, YOUR RADIANCE GUIDES OUR LABS!"
Kaito decided to terminate the interrogation.
The logic was clear: the moment they heard he was taking the field, they were
willing to discard every existing responsibility just to tag along.
"Sufficient," Kaito sighed.
"Since you are all 'Statistically Idle,' I shall requisition one hundred units
from each legion."
"But—and record this data carefully—they must be actually idle units. I will not
tolerate a disruption of Imperial services. And I am aware that the Seven
Generals are not idle units. Do not attempt to bypass the entry-gate yourselves.
Am I clear?"
"As... commanded... my Lord..."
The seven voices returned in a disappointed, uncoordinated mumble.
The link severed.
Kaito stood by the window, watching the Valley. He could visualize the chaos
currently erupting in the seven barracks. Every soldier would be fighting to be
labeled "Idle" just for a chance at the expedition.
"Whatever. Let them sort out their own logistics," Kaito muttered.
He turned back to the desk, beginning the final preparations for transit.
First: Secure the coordinates. The metropolis Bochi had localized was clearly a
primary cultural hub. Kaito extracted the exact spatial harmonics from the
petition. "Transit point anchored here."
Second: Logistics. Even for a Tier 5 world, a Sovereign does not travel without
an inventory. He opened his spatial storage, performing a final audit.
- Magical relics: Secured.
- Emerald's Respite (High-Tier): Secured.
- Formal travel-robes (for aesthetic masking): Secured.
And...
Kaito pulled out a small, ornate box. Inside were several premium cakes and a
few shimmering trinkets. These had been intended as rewards for Bochi.
"Unnecessary for this cycle," Kaito said, tucking the box away.
Bochi was currently serving his term as a Senior Lecturer at the Academy. He
would remain anchored there for a long duration. Perhaps by the time Kaito
returned, the slime's logic would be properly calibrated.
To ensure the containment of the "Bochi Variable," Kaito drafted a final
directive for Lloyd and Rosen.
The text was absolute: [Effective immediately, Lord Bochi's lecture-load is
tripled. All leave-cycles are terminated. Nutrition is to be restricted to the
'Carrot Protocol'—zero glucose permitted. If the subject breaches containment,
both of you are hereby reassigned as his permanent teaching assistants.]
Preparations finalized, Kaito gave a satisfied nod and stepped out of the shack.
The expedition was on.
☆☆☆
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