I can still feel the sting of that day....
—Slap!
"Do not talk back to me!"
The sound of the strike had echoed through the cold study of the Volk estate.
It was the day my Nanny and Tutor, who was also our head maid hit me. Her figure loomed over me, her shadow swallowing my small frame.
"What are you looking at ? Do you have something to say ?!"
As my tutor of basic noble etiquette, she had taught me everything she should've but...
"What ? Are you gonna complain to My Lady or The Master ?!"
Her teaching methods could not be considered to be 'gentle'.
At first, I had tried to tell myself that she was being strict for my own good. But at some point....
It felt like she was venting on me for some personal grudge.
"You should realize it as well, it will be of no use."
She is right. As far as I could remember, I had no memories of a genuine family moment with my family.
There were some opportunities when I spent time with my mother but they never felt 'genuine'.
I always wondered where my hair color came from. It didn't match with either of my parents and neither of my grandparents.
My older brother looked more like them than me.
"After all, you're just a bastard! An illegitimate child! A Flaw in the Great Volk's Name! No one cares about you."
And that day, I came to know the reason. I didn't know the meanings of the words she said though.
It was much later that I learned. I learned the meaning of those words.
I learned what I was, what I am. I learned that I was a mistake. And as such, i accepted the title of 'Flaw'.
And I learned another truth from my Nanny.
I was a bad child who Killed her own Mother.
****
"And why should I not talk to you ?" The boy's voice pulled me back from the dark hallway of my memory. He stepped closer, invading the space I had tried to keep empty.
"...You gave the answer yourself just now." I whispered.
I raised the hem of my frock as a farewell gesture "then I will take my leave."
If you do not distance yourself from me, then I will.
I turned to flee, but before I could take a single step, a Slightly visible magic wall was created in front of me.
Magic ? A magic barrier ?
I looked back at him.
But he looks the same age as me and this magic does not look weak or fragile.
"Ren." He called me, his voice still as kind and affectionate as before.
--Snap!
"I know. my way of doing things is not exactly very ...gentlemanly" The barrier vanished with a snap of his fingers.
"But I just wish to talk with you, for a little while."
Was he sent by his family to use me to build a relationship with my family.
"May i ?" He asked again.
Someone asking permission from me for something is a new experience for me.
I looked into his amethyst eyes.
No. I don't know why he would act like that to a stranger but those eyes and the intent behind those are, or at least seem sincere and genuine.
I went back near the railings, standing right beside him, where I previously was.
"...Alright"
He turned to look towards the stars.
"Ren. Why are you so obsessed with the word 'flaw'?"
"Because that's what I am."
"Okay, then what is a flaw ?"
"Imperfection"
"I see," He pointed a finger toward the sky, toward the pale, silver orb hanging over the capital, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it ?"
"....It is"
"What color is the moon ?"
"White"
I do not know why is he asking such trivial questions but if this is what it takes to Satisfy him, So be it.
"Really ? Then why do I see grey there ?"
"There are grey spots. Craters. Shadows."
"Then, " he started collecting mana on his hand and created something. a white glowing orb hovered between us, over his hand. "Do you think this is beautiful ? as beautiful as the moon ?"
"...No." I admitted. "It's just a white ball. an empty bright ball."
"Then..." He created a dull grey orb on his other hand. "Is this beautiful ?"
"No"
"Then..." He brought the orbs closer and smashed the two orbs together and they collided. The collision created a new orb by merging them " what about now ?" He held the new orb before me.
It was a white orb but it also has touch of gray Here and there.
Just like the moon... A replica of the moon.
"What do you want say ?" I looked into his eyes and asked.
"I think you know what I am saying."
Yes, I know. I have an idea of what he wants to say.
"If you're trying to say flaws make things beautiful... you're wrong," I said, my voice hardening, denying the claim that he is trying to make "Flaws might make objects interesting, but like that grey orb, they are never beautiful on their own. They are just defects."
"..Maybe so. But, if it's about you, I hold a different opinion. You are, Ren. You are beautiful. You are kind, And you're cute. Even now you want me to away for my own sake. That's called kindness, Ren."
"It is not. I... I just... Just do not deserve any kindness!" My voice involuntarily became louder.
"And why do you think that ?"
"I-i killed. I killed my mother!" My voice broke, rising into a shout that echoed off the stone walls of the terrace and I finally said it.
There was a heavy still silence between us.
"Ren" and then he broke the silence.
"I will tell two things. Can you listen to me ?" he said
"What is it ?"
"First, stop blaming yourself for her death."
"Wha-" I was about speak but,
"I told you listen. Not reply." he interrupted me.
I shut my lips. As if there was some invisible pressure telling me to listen.
"You did not kill her. It's not a burden that is yours to carry."
He turned towards me fully "she chose your life over her own. She stopped living so that you could start living. And..."
"Right now, You're wasting that life away, sinking in self pity. Wasting the First and maybe, the last gift, she gave you. calling her legacy a flaw."
He clenched his fist and the moon orb shattered. The fragments of white and grey mana didn't fall, they took flight, swirling around us like a thousand glowing fireflies.
It's beautiful. Stunning.
I have seen magic before. But they were all either fires to burn puppets or earth magic to build crater or wind magic to create destructive storm or magic of defense to deflect harm.
They were mostly all destructive but...
This might be the first time that I have found magic to be so ....Beautiful ?
This is magic ? was it always so beautiful ?
"And the second thing, " he continued speaking "there is no child, absolutely not a single child in this world, who does not deserve kindness, especially a child, as kind as you, Ren. Ren Von Volk."
"And," the fireflies disappeared and he started collecting mana again, "You know, Your hair and name remind of a certain thing."
"What is it ?" I am now really curious. What's he going to create next ?
"Do you know the origin of your name ?"