Chapter 59: Rajesh's Blind Date
Ethan began seriously planning his Shadow training regimen.
Rubbing his temples, he thought: Holy Light grows stronger by saving people; Shadow grows stronger by hurting them. In the end, it's all the same rule—use it or lose it. Practice makes power.
Holy Light? He used it every day. Suturing wounds, stopping bleeding, easing pain—quietly slipping a healing spell onto patients had become routine.
Shadow, on the other hand, was like American health insurance—low usage, high cost. You rarely touch it, and by the time you actually need it, you realize you forgot to renew the plan.
If Shadow decays without use, then he had to practice.
But… practice on whom?
Mind-controlling a few street punks into turning themselves in—or worse—like before?
Too inefficient. The neighborhood had been peaceful lately; no troublemakers had shown up in ages.
Going out to find targets himself felt unnecessary. Worse, it wasn't repeatable.
Two impulsive ideas floated through his head:
Kidnap a criminal and run mind-control experiments?
Or cast Shadow Word: Pain to drain HP, then Heal to restore it—over and over?
A classic math problem: one pipe draining the pool, another filling it.
Both ideas screamed forbidden martial arts manual energy.
Then—
Animals?
A horrifying image popped into Ethan's mind:
A turkey.
He casts Shadow Word: Pain.
The turkey convulses, collapses.
He resurrects it.
Pain. Resurrection. Pain. Resurrection.
Holy Light and Shadow in perfect tandem, a turkey bouncing endlessly on the edge of life and death—
until it achieves enlightenment and ascends.
"…That sounds both scientific and deeply deranged."
He evaluated the plan seriously.
Pros: feasible, efficient.
Cons: the Animal Protection Society would probably shut down his clinic.
Ethan stared at the ceiling, deep in thought.
He needed a method that was legal, non-abusive, and ideally beneficial to society.
---
Meanwhile, in the Apartment Living Room
Rajesh Koothrappali, Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter, and Howard Wolowitz were crowded around a laptop.
On the screen were Raj's parents—calling from India.
Raj looked mortified as he pleaded into the camera.
"Mom, Dad, please—I really don't want to marry Lalita Gupta! She used to call me an untouchable!"
Dr. Koothrappali sighed.
"That was childhood, Rajesh. She's a very promising dentist now."
Mrs. Koothrappali added gently,
"Yes, dear. We just want grandchildren…"
At that moment, the apartment door opened.
Ethan walked in, looking tired from wrestling with his Shadow training dilemma.
"Hey, guys, I'm back—uh… what's going on?"
He noticed everyone clustered strangely around the laptop.
Leonard explained,
"We're video-calling Raj's parents."
Ethan blinked.
"…Ah."
Howard lowered his voice and grinned maliciously.
"Live broadcast: The Brutal Reality of Arranged Marriage."
"Stop it, Howard!" Rajesh Koothrappali wailed.
Curious, Ethan leaned closer. Raj's parents immediately noticed him on screen.
Mrs. Koothrappali's eyes lit up.
"Oh? And who is this handsome young man? Is he your friend too, Rajesh?"
Raj sighed and introduced him.
"Yes, Mom. This is Ethan. He lives with Sheldon and Leonard."
Ethan gave a polite wave to the camera.
"Hello, Dr. Koothrappali, Mrs. Koothrappali. It's very nice to meet you."
Dr. Koothrappali studied Ethan closely, clearly impressed by his demeanor.
"Ethan? Are you a scientist too, like the others?"
"No, sir," Ethan replied calmly. "I'm a surgeon."
The effect was instantaneous.
Raj's parents straightened in their chairs, their faces breaking into radiant smiles of admiration.
"Oh my goodness!" Mrs. Koothrappali exclaimed. "That's wonderful!"
Dr. Koothrappali nodded emphatically, his tone full of reverence.
"A surgeon! Such a respected profession! Far better than researching…"
He glanced at Leonard and Sheldon, then swallowed the rest of the sentence.
"Truly impressive! Your parents must be incredibly proud of you!"
"Thank you," Ethan said with a modest smile. "My father is also a doctor. He always hoped I'd follow in his footsteps."
"Wise! Extremely wise!" Dr. Koothrappali beamed. "A family of doctors! Look at him, Raj! If only you had half of Ethan's achievements—"
Raj muttered under his breath,
"Here we go again…"
Ethan smoothly returned the compliment.
"I've heard that you're an OB-GYN, Doctor. That's remarkable. Obstetrics is one of the most demanding specialties there is. Surgeons only deal with one patient at a time, but you're responsible for two lives every time. That takes more than skill—it takes judgment and courage."
Dr. Koothrappali's eyes shone even brighter.
"Oh my! What a wonderful young man! Why didn't I have a son like you?"
Raj finally broke.
"Dad!! I'm right here!!"
Ethan and Dr. Koothrappali quickly found common ground, chatting enthusiastically about medical cases and professional experiences. Raj's parents praised Ethan endlessly, repeatedly inviting him to visit India—an enthusiasm starkly different from how they treated everyone else.
Watching Ethan become someone else's perfect child in record time, the others exchanged looks of envy and helpless amusement.
When the call finally ended, Ethan let out a long breath.
Wow… why did that feel like meeting future in-laws?
Then something clicked.
"Wait," Ethan asked, "what was that arranged marriage thing you mentioned earlier?"
Raj explained,
"My parents introduced me to the daughter of one of their friends. From the sound of it, they're basically planning for us to get married."
Sheldon Cooper immediately switched into lecture mode.
"Although arranged marriages are less common today, Indian parents still play a significantly more active role in their children's marital decisions than in Western cultures."
Ethan shrugged.
"That doesn't sound so bad. You get to meet a new girl, from your hometown too. What's there to worry about?"
Raj groaned.
"You know perfectly well I can't talk to women."
True enough. Raj's condition had plagued him for years. Ethan knew he eventually overcame it—alcohol helped temporarily—but it was still very much a psychological issue.
Ethan had even tried casting healing spells on him. Zero effect. Definitive proof: it was all in Raj's head.
Ethan privately believed Raj had some kind of hidden operating system installed.
Not social anxiety.
More like Automatic Female Detection → Immediate Mute Mode.
As soon as a woman entered his sensory range—alarm triggered, system shut down, speech disabled.
Ethan seriously wondered:
Is this shyness? Or does he have some prehistoric gender-recognition module baked into his DNA?
Modern society recognized dozens—sometimes hundreds—of gender identities.
Raj's system, however, was brutally simple:
Female.
Not female.
That's it.
No matter how someone looked, identified, or presented—if Raj's ancient radar flagged them as "female," click, system offline.
Ethan even considered running an experiment someday:
find a man prettier than most influencers, put him in full makeup, and test Raj's response.
If Raj could talk—DNA-based detection.
If he couldn't—hormonal response.
Just then, the apartment door burst open.
Penny bounced in energetically.
"Hey, guys! I need some lab rats for an experiment!"
Sheldon didn't even look up.
"There's a company in Reseda that supplies laboratory animals. You could try there. If your research requires human subjects, may I suggest replacing them with lab mice? Their brain functions are closer to humans anyway."
Penny rolled her eyes.
"I swear, Sheldon, one day I'll finally catch up to how your brain works."
Ethan chuckled.
"His mom's been saying that for years. What's up, Penny?"
"I finally convinced my boss to transfer me to the bar area," Penny said proudly.
"So I need to practice mixing drinks! Can you guys help me taste-test?"
"No problem!"