"Hawk, come with me to a certain place," Thor said, dusting off his stolen hospital scrubs. "I think I've found the way home."
"Hey, you're not taking advantage of my vulnerable state to kidnap me, are you?" Hawk asked, narrowing his eyes and backing up a few trotters. "And then turn me into a roasted suckling pig?!"
"Hahahaha!" Thor clapped his hands together, his booming laugh echoing down the dusty street. "How is that possible? We are friends, Hawk!"
Just now in the tavern, before being violently ejected, Thor had overheard the hushed discussions of the locals. Last night, a heavy, square-headed hammer had fallen into a crater on the outskirts of town. Many strong men had tried, but not a single one could pick it up.
When those words reached his ears, his best partner, Mjolnir, instantly appeared in his mind.
'As long as I can pick up the hammer, my power will return, and I can return to Asgard,' Thor thought with absolute certainty.
With that goal in mind, the banished prince and the talking pig stood up from the dirt and set off down the street.
Meanwhile, cruising slowly down the adjacent road, a battered research SUV finally spotted its target. Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, and Erik Selvig had been circling the town for twenty minutes.
The vehicle screeched to a halt right next to Thor. The passenger window rolled down, and Darcy leaned out.
"How the hell did you get out of the hospital?" Darcy demanded.
Thor looked up. Seeing the woman who had taken him down with a single, cowardly lightning-strike (the taser), he truly had no interest in answering. He didn't even have the courage to recall such a humiliating defeat. With a single, haughty glance, Thor ignored her and continued marching forward with Hawk trailing behind him.
The SUV slowly crept along the curb, matching his pace.
"Where are you going?" Jane asked from the back seat, leaning over the center console. "Why did you appear inside the atmospheric anomaly? Hey! Can't you talk?!"
Growing impatient with the bombardment of questions, Thor stopped dead in his tracks and looked at the two women expressionlessly.
"Stop following me," Thor commanded. "I am going to retrieve my hammer."
He turned on his heel to resume his march, satisfied that he had established his authority.
"Well, if you're looking for that hammer from the satellite crash..." Jane called out, popping her head out the window. "...it seems you're walking in the exact wrong direction."
Thor froze.
Hawk sighed heavily, shaking his little pink head. "You big oaf, you clearly didn't know the way, yet you led me all this distance acting like you did!"
"I... this is merely a tactical detour..." Thor stammered, his face flushing slightly.
"Ah! Oh my god! A talking pig!" Darcy shrieked from the passenger seat, dropping her phone in the footwell.
[The Desert - Edge of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Perimeter]
At Jane Foster's frantic invitation, Thor and Hawk—man and pig—both piled into the back seat of the SUV.
Thor's embarrassment about walking the wrong way was immediately forgotten, as Hawk completely hijacked the attention of everyone in the car. Compared to the cynical, rough patrons of the tavern, Jane Foster and her companions were scientists. Their academic curiosity was far greater than their fear. And a talking, articulate pig was the ultimate biological impossibility.
Under their intense, terrifying, unblinking gazes, Hawk nervously scurried over the vinyl seats and hid behind Thor's massive bicep.
'These humans are too dangerous,' Hawk thought, shivering. "We should run away! They look at me like I'm a specimen!"
"Do not worry, I shall protect you!" Thor said, confidently thumping his broad chest.
Hawk gave him a highly skeptical glare, but stayed close.
It wasn't until nightfall that the SUV finally arrived at the coordinates of the crater. However, the desolate desert landscape was no longer what it used to be.
Heavy coils of razor wire surrounded the entire basin. A massive perimeter of temporary plastic corridors and tactical tents had been erected in the middle of nowhere. Heavily armed sentries patrolled the fenceline under the glare of high-intensity floodlights.
"I think we should head back first and figure something else out," Dr. Erik Selvig said, killing the engine and staring at the intimidating military setup. As the oldest of the group, he had dealt with government agencies before, and he was the one who least wanted to cause trouble. "It seems this place has been completely seized by the feds."
However, even as he spoke, the eager young people had already opened the car doors and slipped out into the darkness.
'I really hate government agencies,' Erik thought, shaking his head helplessly as he followed them into the brush.
"There's no way in," Jane whispered as they crouched behind a rocky ridge, surveying the base. "This place is completely sealed off. What do we do now?"
The group realized the razor wire covered every conceivable angle. The only passable spot was a heavily guarded corridor situated directly between two observation towers. Seeing the impossible odds, Jane, Darcy, and Erik were already contemplating retreating to the van.
However, Thor had finally reached his destination. How could he possibly give up his only ticket home?
In the brief instant Jane and her team were still formulating a plan, Thor and Hawk had already leaped over the ridge and charged straight toward the heavily fortified front gate.
"For Asgard!" Thor bellowed.
Instantly, they were scuffling with the elite S.H.I.E.L.D. agents guarding the entrance.
[S.H.I.E.L.D. Command Center]
Inside the temporary command hub, Agent Phil Coulson stood with his hands behind his back, watching the chaotic, muddy brawl unfold on the surveillance monitors. The corners of his mouth curled up into a faint, highly amused smile.
"Coulson," a voice crackled over his earpiece. Up in the pouring rain of the sniper nest, Clint Barton held his compound bow steady. "The massive intruder seems quite formidable. And he brought... livestock. Do you need me to step in?"
"Wait a moment, Barton," Coulson replied calmly. "Let him in."
Hawkeye lowered his bow, shaking his head as he watched the absolute circus unfold in the mud below.
Ordinary soldiers couldn't stop Thor's raw, brawling momentum. Especially not when he was backed up by the Captain of the Order of Scraps Disposal.
[Skill: Hip Attack!]
[Skill: Hip Attack!]
Flapping his large ears to achieve short bursts of flight, Hawk aggressively hurled his plump, pink little butt directly into the faces of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.
It wasn't physically damaging in the slightest, but the sheer psychological insult of being hit in the face by a flying pig's rear end was highly effective.
Furthermore, having received Coulson's explicit orders to let the intruder pass, the agents couldn't actually use lethal force or heavy countermeasures. Instead, they leaned into the absurdity, putting on a display of superb, theatrical acting.
One by one, the elite agents 'succumbed' to the pig's hip attacks and Thor's wild punches, falling into the mud with exaggerated groans.
Assuming they were just too incredibly powerful for mortal soldiers to handle, the man and the pig cheerfully strutted past the gates and headed directly toward the center of the crater.
Only after they were out of sight did the 'unconscious' soldiers stand up in unison, brushing the mud off their tactical gear. They turned their cold, professional gazes toward the ridge where Jane, Darcy, and Erik were still hiding in terrified silence.
[The Center of the Crater]
Inside the main plastic corridor, all the S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists had quietly evacuated just before Thor breached the room.
From a secure secondary tent, Coulson kept his eyes locked on his laptop screen. Every move Thor and Hawk made after entering the crater was under his surveillance.
In the live feed, Thor marched up to the pedestal of earth. His eyes were fixed on the silver hammer, unwilling to look away for even a single second.
"Mjolnir," Thor whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I finally found you!"
Recalling his recent humiliations—banished, hit by a metal carriage, subdued by a tiny electric needle—Thor now only wanted to lift his weapon, summon the lightning, and return to the golden halls of Asgard in glory.
Standing over his birthright, Thor gripped the leather-wrapped handle with supreme confidence and gave it a mighty pull.
The hammer didn't budge.
The arrogant confidence on Thor's face vanished instantly. In total disbelief, he planted his feet, gripped the handle with both hands, and strained with every ounce of his remaining Asgardian strength, his muscles bulging as he repeatedly tried to rip it from the earth.
Nothing. The hammer was absolute, immovable stone.
"No!!!"
Under Hawk's confused, contemptuous gaze, Thor lost his grip. His knees hit the mud with a heavy splash. The realization of his unworthiness crushed him entirely.
"Father!" Thor screamed toward the stormy sky, the rain washing over his devastated face. "Why?! Why!!"
Amidst his agonizing, broken cries, the heavy plastic flaps of the tent zipped open.
Agent Coulson, flanked by a squad of heavily armed S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives, walked calmly into the room. Completely ignoring the wailing, massive blonde man having an existential breakdown in the mud, Coulson stepped around the crater.
Having recently survived an apocalyptic encounter in New York with an undead Overlord, a Blood Valkyrie, and an ancient Dragon, a mere talking piglet simply wasn't enough to raise Coulson's blood pressure anymore.
Coulson stopped in front of Hawk, slowly crouching down so he was eye-level with the pig.
"Hello there," Coulson said pleasantly, offering a polite, practiced S.H.I.E.L.D. smile. "What's your name?"
.....
[AUTHOR NOTE: New fanfic Bleach: Echoes of the Soul is released today. Can you guys add it to your library if you like it and support and help in getting it to top spot in weekly collection list. You can find this fic in my profile or through search.]