[I remember Kishimoto saying that Naruto eats instant ramen because he likes it. His fridge is stuffed with instant ramen and milk, and because he's careless, he forgets the expiration dates and ends up drinking spoiled milk.]
[To be fair, it's understandable for a kid Naruto's age to like instant ramen. Plus, Naruto has no one to teach him, so his own cooking skills must be terrible, and since he can't eat out much, instant ramen is probably the best-tasting food he's ever had.]
[It's not that he can't eat out; he can still go eat ramen.]
[That's only ramen, though. So when Naruto doesn't eat out, he can only eat instant ramen. Anyway, instant ramen is definitely better than anything he could cook himself.]
[I'll say it again: Third Hokage, you old geezer, you've done nothing but bad things.]
[I'll say it again: Kishimoto is just a manga artist; he doesn't know a damn thing about Naruto.]
Bullet comments drifted across the screen, analyzing Naruto's dietary habits with a mix of pity and criticism.
"Honestly, Naruto, you can't keep drinking expired milk. You need to throw it all away," Sakura said, scolding him like a mother hen as she watched the screen.
"Uh, I know, Sakura-chan..." Naruto scratched his head, looking a bit embarrassed to be lectured in front of everyone.
"You should find some time to learn how to cook, Naruto. It's not good for a growing ninja to rely on instant ramen," Kakashi added, his tone lazy but well-meaning.
Living alone himself, Kakashi was actually a decent cook; he felt a twinge of responsibility to maybe teach the boy a thing or two.
"Cooking? Ugh, that's such a pain!" Naruto waved his hand dismissively. He had no intention of learning how to use a stove when boiling water was so much faster.
[On the screen, after finishing his questionable breakfast, Naruto headed toward the Academy. Today was the day for the graduated Genin to be assigned to teams.
The scene shifted.
Sakura slammed her front door shut and sprinted down the street. Halfway there, she ran into Ino Yamanaka. Sparks flew instantly. Neither girl was willing to give an inch, competing with each other in a furious race all the way to the classroom door.
Naruto was already seated inside. Seeing Sakura arrive, he blushed, waving awkwardly. "Morning, Sakura-chan!"
However, Sakura ignored him completely. She only had eyes for Sasuke and made a beeline for the seat next to him.
Meanwhile, in a corner Naruto couldn't see, Hinata Hyuga was silently watching him, her fingers pressed together in shyness.
"What did you say?! The seat next to Sasuke-kun is mine!"
Ino grabbed Sakura's arm, declaring war.
"I'm the one sitting next to Sasuke!"
"No, it's me! First come, first served, Ino-pig!"
"What did you call me, Billboard Brow?!"
Before Sakura could retort, a swarm of girls descended upon the desk. Every kunoichi in the class was fighting for the prime real estate next to the Uchiha.
"So noisy."
Sasuke rested his chin on his hands, his expression cold and indifferent. The squealing passion of these fangirls only irritated him.
Meanwhile, in the Hokage Office, a group of Jonin gathered around Hiruzen Sarutobi, observing the classroom drama through his crystal ball.
Back in the classroom, the bickering of the girls made Naruto feel extremely irritated. Jealousy bubbled up.
He jumped straight onto the desk and crouched right in front of Sasuke, staring directly into his cool, handsome face. The two rivals locked eyes, inches apart.]
[Hahaha, Sakura and Ino are even competing over a commute?]
[This looks exactly like me racing my friends to the lunch line.]
[Empress Sakura has arrived.]
[It's way too early to call her an Empress. Right now, she's just a fangirl.]
[Ah, baby Hinata! Look at her!]
[Only Hinata truly cares about Naruto.]
[So cute! I declare that Hinata is my waifu. Back off.]
[Keep dreaming. Hinata is mine.]
[You guys are delusional. She's clearly reserved for the protagonist.]
[Hahaha, the waifu wars have started in the chat.]
[Wait! It's coming, it's coming! The famous scene!]
[Alert! Alert! Naruto loses his first kiss!]
[It's about to happen!]
[A masterpiece for the ages!]
[Congratulations to the newlyweds!]
The bullet comments exploded with anticipation. Naruto, reading the text floating in the sky, suddenly realized what scene was coming up. His face instantly drained of color, turning a sickly shade of pale.
[Uzumaki Naruto: Aaaah! No! Don't show it! Turn it off!]
In his panic, Naruto yelled directly into the Chat Channel, attempting to censor his dark history.
[Mei Terumi: Oh? He's so anxious. Did something... interesting happen?]
[Rasa: Konoha's graduation ceremony just ended, right? This scene must have happened very recently.]
[Onoki: Calculating by Konoha's timeline, it seems like this happened just today?]
[A (Fourth Raikage): Since it's already happened, then play it! Let us see what has the Jinchuriki so rattled.]
[Uzumaki Naruto: No! Absolutely not! Stop!]
Seeing that the Kage were all curious, Naruto became even more frantic.
[Jiraiya: It seems something did indeed happen. But Naruto, listen to me. As a Ninja, there is nothing you cannot face. Making a mistake isn't scary; learning from it and avoiding it next time is the Ninja Way. Do not run from your past!]
Although Jiraiya hadn't met Naruto yet, he could tell from the boy's appearance that he was Minato's son and likely his future disciple. Therefore, he couldn't help but offer some sage advice.
But Jiraiya clearly didn't know what he was asking the boy to face.
"No!"
Naruto looked at the Sky Screen in despair. He realized there was no stopping the broadcast.
In the office, Sasuke and Sakura also looked grim—especially Sasuke, who felt waves of phantom nausea just thinking about it.
"Naruto, you should know by now that you can't stop the screen," Kakashi said, patting Naruto's head with a mixture of pity and amusement. "Just as Lord Jiraiya said, you'd better just... face it."
[On the screen, Naruto and Sasuke stared at each other, lightning sparks seemingly flying between their eyes.
"Whoa, for real? He's staring him down!"
At that moment, a student sitting behind Naruto suddenly stood up to get a better look. His elbow bumped hard into Naruto's lower back.
"Whoops!"
Naruto lost his balance. His body lurched forward.
Sasuke, hands locked together, couldn't react in time.
Smack.
Their lips connected perfectly.
The entire classroom instantly went silent. You could have heard a pin drop.
Everyone stared at Naruto and Sasuke with looks of utter, horrified disbelief.
Even the Third Hokage and the group of elite Jonin watching via the crystal ball froze in shock.
Naruto and Sasuke pulled away, coughing and sputtering, looking as if they had just eaten poison.
Then, the killing intent rose.
Sakura and the fan club cracked their knuckles. Naruto was subsequently beaten into a pulp.]
[It's here! The famous NaruSasu scene!]
[NaruSasu is canon! I don't care what anyone says!]
[The Legend of Naruto: The First-Kiss Snatcher.]
[The famous early love triangle of Team 7: Naruto loves Sakura, Sakura loves Sasuke, and Naruto kisses Sasuke.]
[That random boy who bumped him was the MVP (Most Valuable Player). Top-tier support.]
[Hahaha, I'm dying! The first high-energy iconic scene of the series!]
[Sakura, your reaction is way too abstract. You look like a demon.]
[Jealousy makes people unrecognizable.]
[Hahaha, look at their faces! They are traumatized!]
[Disgusted on the surface, but maybe... just maybe...]
[Sasuke's reflexes aren't good enough. He claims to be an elite, but he couldn't dodge a kiss?]
[To be fair, they were inches apart. No one has reflexes that fast.]
Sure enough, following the kiss, the bullet comments exploded into chaos.
"It's over... my life is over..."
Naruto slumped over in a pose of utter defeat, his entire being seemingly turning gray and crumbling to dust.
Sasuke's face was also terrible; the vein on his forehead throbbed. That was a piece of dark history he wanted to bury in the deepest hole possible!
Sakura's expression was equally bad. That was Sasuke-kun's first kiss! It should have been hers! The universe was unfair!
The others in the Hokage's office, however, were struggling to hold back their laughter. They had already seen it once via the crystal ball, but seeing it again on the big screen, with commentary, was simply too much.
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