Even one.
Was there anyone out there who could say they had never committed a single misdeed in their life? Someone perfectly innocent?
Missha Karlstein believed that was impossible. Even the holiest of saints made a mistake at least once in his life. Even someone with genuinely good intentions could end up achieving the wrong result by accident. I could end up hurting someone else. It couldn't be helped.
If even great people like that can make mistakes, of course a loser like me is no exception-.
«I...» Missha muttered quietly to herself. «What am I doing...?»
She had been doing this on a loop for a few days now.
Things probably would have been better if she had at least been able to fight monsters or something, but as things stood, there wasn't much else she could do while locked in her room all day. It hurt her to be able to turn off her brain and sleepwalk through life, but not wanting to think didn't mean she didn't have to.
And so, for several long days, he thought and thought. The thoughts were always different, but always so similar. She began to feel resentful, then became indignant with herself, and at times had flashes of clarity that seemed to put everything into perspective. When those particular thoughts came and went, the conclusion they left him was always the same.
«Let's go».
Let's leave the Anabada Clan.
No, it wasn't like he had been an official member of the clan to begin with. That should make it even easier for her to leave. Therefore, after this expedition was over and they were back in the city, she would disappear. He would walk away from Bjorn Yandel's life and never show his face in front of him again.
He probably wants that too.
That was the conclusion he had come to hundreds and hundreds of times. The moment he reached her again, he cowered inward and grabbed his chest with his hands.
«Agh...»
It hurt. Beyond a suffocating shortness of breath, his chest hurt. It hurt so much that he thought it would hurt less if he picked up something sharp, closed his eyes, and stabbed it.
However, Missha couldn't translate those thoughts into reality. It wasn't for lack of desire or determination. It was just that she knew.
That's not right...
He wouldn't want that kind of ending for her. It would stain all the memories they shared with charcoal-black tones and torment him for the rest of his life.
Two…
Without warning, the memory of him came to her: the noble wizard who gave his life to save all of them in the Labyrinth of Larcaz. Missha knew how he had felt about her.
Well, I hadn't known it while he was alive. But one day, many months after Dwalkie's death, the dwarf warrior Hikurod Murad had told him. That he had always had feelings for her...
At first, she couldn't believe it. If it really was, why was Dwalkie hiding his affection from her even when he was breathing his last?
He couldn't believe it. If it had been her, she would have taken the last opportunity she had been given to share her feelings.
However, when he said it out loud, Hikurod responded as if he thought the question was a bit silly.
«Isn't it obvious what I was thinking? He probably didn't want to leave behind a dark shadow».
It seemed like a vague and unclear explanation. Despite this, he had accepted her, if only because he thought that was what Dwalkie would have wanted. But still, he had never been able to fully understand its logic. Not, at least, until today.
«So... this is what you felt...»
Strictly speaking, she and Dwalkie were nothing alike. He had sacrificed his life to save everyone, while she struggled between her own mistakes - her own failures - and tried to find a way out. If she weren't in the maze now...
If she didn't continue to hold on to the slightest hope that she would one day be forgiven, she would have run away a long time ago...
Toc, toc, toc.
At that moment, he heard a voice on the other side of the closed door.
«It's me, Missha. Let's talk.»
It was Bjorn.
Her visit filled her with joy and fear. However, he forced himself to calm down and do what he had to do.
First things first: I couldn't let him see her like that. She washed her hair and rinsed her face. Then he hurried to tidy up his messy room. Luckily, I had spent most of my time here doing nothing, so there wasn't much to clean up.
«Can I enter?»
She opened the door to reveal the man she hadn't seen in a long time, and he entered. Inexplicably, his heart began to beat strongly.
Ba-dump.
Why is Bjorn here? Are you worried about me? I hope the room doesn't smell...
While she had been withering like a collected flower until a few moments ago, for some reason, life returned to her body the moment it was in her presence.
«I want to turn this on so we can talk. Can?»
A part of her wished he had started some idle conversation, but as soon as he crossed the threshold, Bjorn immediately got to the point. In her large hand, she held an object that she immediately recognized.
Wrong Trust.
That name... He couldn't help but feel that the name of that object seemed to perfectly describe his relationship with him at that moment.
However, the sight of it also lifted spirits. It was an opportunity. After having coldly turned his back on him that day, he was giving him another chance. A golden opportunity to fix things, to make up for all the mistakes he had made...
And maybe that meant Bjorn also wanted things to go back to the way they were before.
«Then... you can. Let's talk.»
That's why Missha couldn't pass up this opportunity. She had been in limbo for too long.
Okay. With his hands clenched in fists, he gathered his courage. Whatever Bjorn asks, I'll answer honestly.
And so, Bjorn began his investigation.
«After I disappeared from Farune Island, how did you end up following Baekho Lee?»
Starting with a few longer questions she had answered earlier, many yes or no questions followed, and Missha answered them all honestly.
Right now, Bjorn looked a lot like a watchmaker she had once seen working. Just as they had methodically taken each small piece out of the watch to find out what was wrong with it, Bjorn asked even the smallest of questions and inspected each part.
«Baekho Lee... What are you talking about?»
«Something bad...?»
«Like... getting your hands on yourself...»
«N-No! None of that! I swear».
There were some questions that hurt and heated him at the same time, but they weren't the important ones.
«Did you really not know that the Renaissance Stone causes the target to lose all their memories?».
«I didn't know...»
«Then why did you hide it from me?»
«As I told you then... I thought something bad would happen to you if you found out...».
This was the part that had bothered Bjorn that day. He could still remember the stony expression on his face when he asked him if he had hidden it from him simply because he had taken Baekho Lee at his word.
The memory of their last conversation was fresh in her mind, and before Bjorn could say anything else, Missha quickly shouted: «And I thought it was worth the risk!»
«... Was it worth the risk?»
«I-I didn't know then that you would lose your memories... No, even if I had, I would have done the same...! Because that's still better than your death...»
«Is that why you were willing to put your faith in him?»
«...Baekho Lee is really strong. And something inside him is hopelessly broken».
That was the real reason he had accepted Baekho Lee's offer: he didn't know what he would have done to her if she refused. Maybe it would have even been «a bad thing». That was why he had accepted the Renaissance Stone and returned to Bjorn's side. It was an object that could save the life of someone he loved. In his mind, he had nothing to lose by taking it.
However...
«Huh, ¿eso es todo?»
There was one thing she hadn't mentioned yet.
I didn't know how to tell him. Saying it out loud could ruin everything. But despite the risk, Missha closed her eyes and forced the words between her teeth.
«In exchange for taking the Renaissance Stone, I agreed to give him information».
«...Information?»
«He told me to stay and keep an eye on you...». Missha opened one eye to look at Bjorn's face. For now, he seemed more surprised than angry. «But don't worry! I haven't given you any information yet. After leaving that day, I have not seen him again».
«What if I came to look for you? What were you going to do then?»
«...I don't know. At that point, I wanted to get out of there and think about the rest later». However, as soon as the answer left her lips, Missha felt like she was making excuses, so she quickly added: «But... I think I would have given him the information. O-Of course, they would have been random little things that everyone already knows-!»
«Hmm...» Assimilating Missha's no excuses, Bjorn let out a long sigh and rubbed his chin. Fortunately, he didn't seem too angry. He just nodded, acknowledging his answer, before moving on to the next question.
And then...
«Last question». Bjorn looked directly into Missha's eyes and spoke, every word deliberate. «Is there anything else you're hiding from me?»
An open question that covered the rest.
Nothing. She had answered honestly to everything he had asked her. That was what he meant, but for some reason his mouth opened and closed without making a sound.
A moment ago, it seemed like their relationship was slowly recovering, but their hesitation was a bucket of ice water that froze the healing process. A silence too heavy to be described as a mere absence of sound settled between the two.
Bjorn only said two things.
«Okay... So there's something».
He sounded resigned, as if he had already assumed that this would be the case.
With her chest clenched, Missha once again tried to speak.
Tell him he was wrong. That she had told him everything there was to know. That he didn't hide anything from him. Although he wanted to say all that, the words refused to come out.
Because? Had the Wrong Trust been broken? Missha, who really had nothing to hide anymore, was totally bewildered, but then...
Ah...
Finally he realized. Wrong Trust worked well. It wasn't broken, and even now, it worked exactly as it should. Which meant there was only one reason it would stop him from speaking.
There was something he was hiding from her.
«It's ...» Bjorn's voice cut through the suffocating silence. «Is it... something you can't tell me?»
She felt it instinctively. If she stayed silent here, it was all over for her.
«...I'm not hiding anything related to Baekho Lee from you.»
«So?» When she met Bjorn's eyes, impressed by the hope he still had in her despite everything, she inhaled. «So you're hiding something else from me?»
«Yes...» Even as she nodded, almost as if possessed, hesitation flooded her system.
Could I really say it?
While she had been away, he had filled her family with people much better than her. He had made new promises to them. Maybe... Maybe it would be better for Bjorn if she just disappeared.
«I...»
But even as he thought that, his mouth moved without her saying it.
As his frozen lips slowly parted, the sad and bitter truth he had been hiding all these years gushed out. «I lied to you then, Bjorn».
Bjorn's eyebrows furrowed upon hearing the word «lie».
Come to think of it, it's always been like this. Being lied to was what he hated most in the world, and yet now he found himself in the position of having to tell her what he had been hiding from her.
I can't back down from this.
She blurted out the last thing holding her back and spoke. It was something I had wanted to tell him on Farune Island. She had tried to kill his feelings for his sake, but driven by the fear that he would die at any moment, she had decided to reveal to him that they were still strong.
«When I told you that it would be best if we continued being teammates...»
Well, it had taken longer than expected, but he finally had a chance to tell her.
«Eso era mentira ».
It was best to start even when you thought it was too late. Hadn't they had a conversation like that once?
«In retrospect... I don't think I gave you an adequate answer back then...».
Missha raised her head to look him in the eyes, making sure to pronounce each word correctly.
«Bjorn Yandel, I like you too».
These were the words he hadn't been able to say when he found out his feelings for her, too caught up in his own head to tell the truth.
Bjorn didn't say anything.
She continued. «I did it the day you told me those words. And the days before. Y...» Missha's voice was as small as a mouse, but crystal clear in the silence. «Even now...»
This was the only secret he still hid from her.
***
There were days when you woke up with a strange feeling in your gut. Days when, even when the sky was sunny and radiant, you could somehow feel that there were storm clouds on the horizon, waiting to soak you in rain.
For Erwen, today was one of those days.
«Lord! Are you a... wake?»
Erwen had run to her room at dawn, but had found it empty.
The sight of his empty bed left Erwen with an inexplicable feeling of unease. He looked for him all over the house, but Bjorn was nowhere to be found.
«The captain? Who knows... He didn't tell me he was going out... Won't he be inside the building?».
«...Really? I searched all the rooms, but didn't see it».
«Hmm, so maybe he headed to some business...»
Anabada's navigator, Auyen Rockrobe, assured him that it was probably nothing, but for some reason, Erwen's mouth wiped like sand.
There was actually a room I hadn't checked yet.
La de Missha Karlstein.
The reason Erwen hadn't checked her room was because she simply didn't believe there was any chance Bjorn was there. It also seemed like something had happened between the two of them recently. Missha had been spending most of her time alone in her room, and in the rare moments when she went out for clan meetings, she seemed upset.
However, that raised an interesting question.
Step step.
Why, even as he thought it was impossible for Bjorn to be there, was he heading towards Missha's room?
She knew that he was much more likely to be away on business, as her navigator claimed. So why did she feel so uncomfortable, so worried that she might be wrong?
Step.
Despite negative emotions hitting her everywhere, Erwen reached her destination.
The room was located in a corner of the third floor of the house. The door was tightly closed.
She considered calling, but didn't because she thought it would be awkward if he wasn't there.
I don't perceive any magic.
There was no magic to isolate the sound or any type of barrier around the room. Which meant that, if I wanted to, I could hear everything going on inside.
Erwen used to strive to curb her keen sense of hearing in her daily life, but now she focused on it. As soon as he did, he heard a familiar voice.
«Bjorn Yandel, I like you too»...
He immediately recognized the voice, but did not understand what it said.
What the hell was that woman saying?
Convinced that she had heard wrong, she pricked up her ears and leaned towards her.
«I did it the day you said those words to me. And even before you said them. Y...»
His brain refused to process it.
Because it was a confession of love, right? Something that Erwen had never been able to express out loud in her entire life. And yet...
Know your place, you...
It was incredible. It was infuriating.
Wasn't this the same woman who had disappeared without a trace instead of trying to avenge Mister after they thought he had died? The innocent and kind Bjorn had been willing to return to her, probably blinded by lingering feelings of friendship, but Erwen had never forgotten him.
However, the words continued to resonate in his mind.
«Bjorn Yandel, I like you too».
Only then did Erwen notice something strange.
Also...?
That Red Cat beastwoman had definitely said «too».
And «also» it was used to correspond to a previously stated feeling.
Which meant...
...did the Lord say it first?
The idea was so incredible that the fire burning in his mind suddenly cooled. And when the heat subsided, he could finally see the situation as it was.
He couldn't help but laugh.
The poor woman was delirious. A whole conversation with the man was hallucinating. In favor of Erwen's deduction was the fact that she had not heard anything else from inside the room after that bombing.
Still... I feel a little bad for her.
It was the kind of strange behavior that would be difficult for most to understand, but Erwen had done something similar while in a delicate emotional state, so she could sympathize.
Hmm... Where has the man gone...?
With that, Erwen turned around and returned her sharpened hearing to its normal levels, feeling like she had heard something she shouldn't have.
Or, well, he had almost done all that.
«...Ya veo».
But then a familiar voice spoke from inside the room.