My mind went blank.
The mind, which had been functioning well even after waking up in the body of an unknown barbarian in a coming-of-age ceremony, refused to form a coherent thought, as if drunk.
There was a moment of silence.
Missha looked at me with bright eyes of both fear and expectation, and I couldn't resist those eyes anymore and ended up talking.
«...I this».
A meaningless murmur that neither accepted her, nor rejected her, nor questioned her.
After such a long silence, the only thing I could muster were those two words. It's been a while since I felt so ashamed of myself. However, thanks to that, my mind started working again.
Yes or no.
Right now, what I had to do was not choose between those two. If what Missha had told me was true... No, since Wrong Trust was active, it must be true... But that's why there was something that was even harder for me to understand.
«I know...»
«...Eh?»
«So... why did you draw that line between us back then?»
It was a question I had kept in my heart for so long. Why did Missha push me away then? At the time, she could at least explain it as not liking him as a man, but hearing this from her now, that didn't seem to be the case.
Missha gave me a calm answer. «Ah... That's it... It's because then, I realized that you are an evil spirit... N-no, a gambler...?»
«Player...?»
When I tilted my head, Missha asked in a low voice: «I heard you didn't like being called an evil spirit... And you?».
Hmm, I had never thought about it, but «player» sounded a little better than «evil spirit». Still, did you hear that from Baekho Lee? If so, it bothered me for some reason too.
«If... you don't like it... I'll stop. Sorry...»
I refocused on the conversation and said, «Alright. What does being an evil spirit have to do with you? I mean... Did you think you couldn't have a relationship with an evil spirit, regardless of what you felt?».
I had tried to suppress my emotions as much as possible, but something might have leaked, as Missha was startled and shouted: «I'm not like that, Bjorrrn!».
She must have been so shocked that her old self peeked out.
Missha seemed surprised and embarrassed that she had raised her voice, looking away as she said: «It was just... It was hard for me to see you... See how you were getting weaker because of me...».
«I'll need more explanations for that».
When I asked her for more details, Missha looked up her words and explained her situation without hiding anything. In short, it was pretty simple.
«Did you think that the fact that I took on my 'duty' to the point of exchanging appearances with Kharon was because of you, and you thought those actions were of no use to me? Why could they expose my identity in the future?»
«Yes...» Although Missha lowered her head deeply like a punished student, her eyes remained fixed on me. «But maybe... Was it my misunderstanding...?»
Hah, how could I explain this to her? The reason I changed faces with Kharon wearing the gold mask was because of GM. He needed to create an alibi to avoid being suspected of being an evil spirit.
However, she is not completely wrong.
During all this time, I had never fulfilled my «duty» in the sacred land. The first reason was because I found it uncomfortable as a modern human, and the second reason was Missha.
It was because he felt like he was committing a serious sin.
«So it wasn't my misunderstanding... That's a relief...» Missha let out a sigh of relief, apparently having gotten her response through my expression.
I checked the Lost Trust only to see that he didn't have much time left. I wondered if it even made sense with things the way they were, but even though it seemed cruel, I wanted to take this opportunity to free myself from all doubt.
«That's all?» I asked.
«Eh...?»
«I may be wrong, but... I think you might have more reasons to walk away...». I interrupted myself, still looking at her.
Missha looked surprised.
Yeah, so you had something.
I looked at her to make her hurry, and her face turned red as she admitted: «So... you know... I can't have children...».
My mind returned to that white void for a second. Not even an ogre would be so startled if he were hit on the head with a tree.
«Children...?» I resonated with a hollow echo.
«Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying I can't have children, but that those I do have won't be barbarians...».
I could understand what he was trying to say. He spoke of the racial characteristic of barbarians, that barbarians could only be born of barbarian women. However, what I understood was what he was trying to say, but not why he was saying it.
«Why does it matter if my son is barbaric or not?». I asked, sounding bewildered even to my own ears.
Missha shuddered. «Eh...? Doesn't it matter?».
Obviously not, I wasn't even a real barbarian. Whether my son was a barbarian or a Red Cat, I would give him all my love.
«You're lying...» Missha accused, unable to really accept my words. «Men care about those things...».
Well, it could be like that in this world, and maybe that was «obvious» to Missha, who was born and raised here. But not for me.
«The world I lived in was different».
«But even now you're an n-noble... E-everyone will definitely think it's weird and talk behind your back-»
«Enough», I demanded, ending the conversation there. Talking about children was uncomfortable in itself, and that ignored the small embarrassment that also entailed. «Let's stop talking about this».
«Ah... Yes.. Correct? It's not like you still like it...»
«I haven't given you my proper answer yet.»
«...So? What... what is your answer?»
«Before saying that.» I first checked the time left before asking: «Is there anything else you're hiding?».
Missha spoke without hesitation in a calm voice. «No.»
Right, so that was it.
To think that he had thought she was hiding something and that he couldn't trust her. It was laughable, really.
Clic.
Soon, the hand of Lost Trust came to the end and the light faded.
«So can you... give me an answer?»
For some reason, I found it difficult to look her in the eyes. She looked at me like this question was the most important thing in the world to her.
Should answer...
The Wrong Trust had already been disabled, but I wouldn't care much even if it was still active.
«My answer...»
I told him the pure truth.
***
I felt like I had been cursed, and cursed by a very sinister spell.
«Bjorn Yandel. I like you too»...
«Bjorn Yandel. I like you too... I like you.»
«Bjorn Yandel. I like you too... I like you.»
Even after soaking his head in cold water and banging his head with his helmet against the wall several times, that voice still echoed in his mind. That, and even the last thing Bjorn said too.
«...Ya veo.»
It was not a statement. But it wasn't a denial either.
Despite that, Erwen ended up feeling deep relief at his two little words. If what she sensed then was true, Bjorn had been relieved at that moment.
Before Missha Karlstein's response, before the ungrateful one's response.
What had happened between those two? And what was the meaning of that one «I see»?
They were questions that Erwen couldn't find an answer to, not now. As soon as he heard Bjorn's voice from inside the room, he had fled.
Why did he do it?
Why did he run away and not hear everything?
Late regret gripped her, but she wasn't sure she would do anything different if she could go back to that moment. Even now he was afraid. He felt as if hearing the truth had created something horrible, an event horizon from which he could not escape.
«Erwen Fornacci of Thersia.»
That's why he didn't immediately go to Bjorn for questioning. No, after falling into his thoughts and wandering aimlessly, he ran to this place.
«How long are you going to stay like this?»
Amelia Rainwales.
Although she was a looter of Noark origin, after becoming involved with Bjorn, she was living a new life under the name Emily Raines. Erwen had arrived at her room.
«If you are lost in your thoughts, put them into words now. I'll try to listen to you».
«...Okay».
In the end, Erwen turned around. Amelia didn't stop her, just telling Erwen to come to her if she changed her mind and wanted to talk. However, Erwen was not planning to return. No, the reason he had come today was because he had lost his mind, and it had only been on a whim.
Erwen returned to her room and suffered alone, and there, she came to a conclusion.
Could not be. Bjorn forming such a relationship with the Red Cat woman-it was impossible. Yes, how could that woman be better than her?
After coming to that conclusion, his heart calmed down, and he was finally able to leave the room.
«¿Eh…?
However, after going down to the first floor, what was before his eyes was the scene of a man and a woman sitting at the table and whispering affectionately.
«Ack... Don't laugh! You told me to do this to you. I haven't tried it in a while, so I might have made a mistake... There aren't that many ingredients because we're also in the maze... but... Well, is it too salty?».
«Don't worry. It's delicious».
The woman seemed to have prepared some nostalgic dish for the man. After stunned contemplating the scene from the stairs, he ended up meeting that woman's eyes.
«Ah, Erwen...» The woman's expression became clumsy as their gazes met, and she began to plate another plate of food. «It's not time to eat yet, but do you want some? It's... I did a lot so there's a little left...»
For some reason, it reminded him of a memory from the past.
«Ah! If it's because of the helmet, you can take it to your room...».
«I don't need it».
After coldly cutting the woman, Erwen went back up the stairs. He had done quite well, holding back the urge to pick up the plate and throw it on the floor.
Clack.
Erwen opened Amelia's door and entered the room. Amelia seemed confused because she was no longer nervous after leaving not long ago, but that wasn't important now.
«Amelia Rainwales».
Erwen pronounced the woman's name that she normally didn't pronounce.
The time she had left Bjorn and was learning with her older sister, when the Red Cat's wife acted as the lady of the house and treated her like an unwanted guest.
«...i need your help».
Erwen never wanted to go back to that time again.
***
After seeing Erwen disappear down the stairs, Missha looked at me with worry in her eyes. «Will it be... okay...?»
«I'll talk to Erwen, so don't worry. And... good job».
«…¿Eh?»
«Trying to give him food. It must not have been easy, knowing that he hates you».
«Ah, that's not it... It's nothing. We can't stay like this forever... We will have to continue living together...»
Missha looked embarrassed as she scratched the table. Even that seemed admirable to me.
He had told him not to stay on the outskirts and to live side by side with the clan members, and he was already trying hard to keep his word.
Well, the atmosphere became uncomfortable for a reason unrelated to that.
Although it was far from natural, the silence was not unpleasant. I took the time to think about my last conversation with Missha. I was still ashamed of myself for it, but there was only one answer I could give.
«Don't you know...? What do you mean?»
I definitely didn't hate her. There were still the remains of the feelings I had during that time. However, they were just that: remains.
«It's been a long time since then...»
Since that day, I had done everything I could to get rid of the feelings I felt for Missha, and I had succeeded. He didn't know what would happen in the future, but the emotions he felt for her were more like those of an ally than those of a man for a woman.
Amelia, Erwen, Ainar, Raven... If any of those four were in Missha's situation, I would have found it just as difficult and would have reacted similarly.
Well, that wasn't important.
«H-haha... Th-then it can't be helped...» Even though she seemed hurt by my sincere response, Missha ended the situation like an adult. «Still... we can be friends, right?»
«¿Eh?»
«True? E-So too... we started as friends...»
«Uh, um. »
And I ended up sounding ridiculous when I responded «I guess?» to that.
It was an embarrassing scene where I wanted to grab something and throw it as hard as I could. But what could be done about it? It had already happened.
Missha interrupted the silence, noticing that she had cleaned my plate. «You're done? Shall I bring you more...?»
«Mr. Yandel». Versyl seemed to have left in the morning when she appeared through the front door to say: «Were you on the first floor? We were looking for you. Count Saintred calls him. It seems that the investigation into the tombstone is almost complete. He has ordered you to go there».
«The investigation is almost finished... Do you know what the results are?».
«I don't know the details, but I think they failed».
«I see... Well, I guess I'll hear it there. I'm leaving.»
«Very good... Have a good trip».
I got up from my seat and Missha said goodbye.
Seeing this, Versyl tilted her head. «You two...»
«Do you have something to say?»
«...No. Nada.»
I smiled with satisfaction. It was evident that he did have something to say.
«After you come back, could we talk?», he asked.
«Clear.
It was obvious what I wanted to say after my return.
I must have been worried because I suspected Missha was a traitor, and she was probably planning to reveal to me what happened yesterday in the community as naturally as possible.
I think I can tell you that you don't have to worry anymore, then...
When I finally arrived at the mansion where the dimensional tombstone was, the village chief was waiting for me on the first floor.
«You're already here.»
«We can skip the greetings. Say what you want», I insisted. The village chief then told me that the investigation to open the dimensional tombstone for the last ten days had failed and that today we would leave the village. «Today...?»
«Although I was hopeful, since it has been a complete failure, we cannot waste any more time here».
Well, that was true. I also didn't expect things to go so easily in the first place.
«So I'd like to hear your opinion before we go. I have no intention of interfering in your adventures. What do you want the next destination to be?»
We had rested even more than expected.
Now, it was time to venture out again.