I woke up as usual, but something felt off.
I wondered what this feeling was, and when I looked around, I couldn't help but flinch.
I should have been waking up in my apartment—so why was I opening my eyes in a log cabin?
Kidnapped?
It wasn't so much the kidnapping as the fact that this wasn't my bed, but a totally unfamiliar place. Either way, I stayed on high alert as I stepped out of the room.
At that moment, a rustling sound to my side caught my attention. There, I saw a woman in her late twenties tidying the living room.
"...?"
Could this woman be the owner of this place?
But a woman?
How could she have brought me all the way here?
Confusion only raised my guard further.
In a situation where I couldn't tell if she was friend or foe, subduing her would probably be the safest bet.
But could the person who brought me here really be weak?
Judging by the fact she'd released me freely, it seemed unlikely she intended to harm me.
So, keeping enough strength in reserve to bolt if things went south, I opened my mouth to call to her.
"?!"
But my throat was bone-dry, and the sound stuck in my chest as though a barrier blocked it.
It was like I hadn't had a drop of water in days.
The half-formed noises I managed made more of a screech against the floor than actual words.
In fact, the pain felt like my throat was about to tear apart, and I grimaced, clutching my neck.
Had she noticed my movement?
The woman turned toward me, her eyes widening, and she dropped the cleaning tool in her hand as she rushed over to me.
"Kevin, you've come to!?"
Her tear-filled eyes glistening with relief, she grasped my hand so suddenly I couldn't help but be taken aback.
Kevin? That's not my name?
And why was she looking at me like that?
Though her gaze was like that of someone seeing a loved one again, my bone-dry throat wouldn't let me ask.
"Ah... you've been out for days, haven't you? Your mouth must be like cotton. Wait here a moment."
Noticing my condition, she wiped tears from her eyes, stood up, and headed into the kitchen.
Clueless about what was happening, I just stared where she'd gone before slowly surveying the living room.
But the moment my eyes landed on a full-length mirror angled in my direction, I couldn't keep from widening them.
"What on earth is this?!"
If my throat hadn't been parched, I would've definitely yelled that.
But I couldn't.
Because the reflection staring back at me wasn't the twenty-something man I knew, but that of a teenage boy.
And not just any teenage boy.
I was totally thrown by the unfamiliar face of this teen.
And seeing every inch of his body wrapped in bandages and gauze, it finally hit me that I felt heavy and in pain.
"No, that's not the point!"
An unfamiliar place, a strange body that wasn't mine, and a name I'd never heard—
I almost wanted to chalk this up as a cliché.
…
But the reflection exactly mimicked my thoughts—pinching my cheek so hard I winced—so I knew this wasn't a dream.
"I—could this be possession?"
That's all I could think at the time.
I woke up to an unfamiliar scene, a stranger, a new name, a strange body, and nothing but the memory of falling asleep in my own body before losing consciousness.
And a woman in her twenties—my supposed mother—calling me Kevin, overjoyed at my awakening, showering me with care… I didn't even dare doubt that I was her child.
…
"Actually, we did have another son. Technically, that boy was the real Kevin."
"The real Kevin?"
"Yes. But he was so frail that he passed away in his early years."
From then on, my mother started to lose her mind.
Unlike my father, who managed to stoically pull himself together, Mother couldn't accept that Kevin was gone.
So Mother kept going out searching for Kevin, forcing my father to take her to hospital after hospital in hopes of healing her mind… but all they did was peddle sedatives, insisting that only she herself could move on.
And since staying at home only made her worse, the doctors advised they travel together—so Father began taking her on trips.
Then, one day, Mother suddenly insisted on going to Siberia, so we came here.
As they walked near the lodge, a deafening roar sounded, and they rushed out to find the trees splintered and the ground gouged, their nerves taut as they followed the wreckage to its end.
When they finally arrived, they discovered me.
"When I first saw you in the snow, covered in wounds, I was honestly shocked. There was no denying you looked just like twins with Kevin."
I was lying battered and bloodied.
The blood pooling around you and the grave wounds should've meant you were already dead, yet remarkably you were breathing steadily.
So they brought you here and began treating your injuries—and to their astonishment, your wounds were already healing.
"When I saw that, I realized you must be my brother's son—no ordinary person could've survived injuries like those. And the fact that you were healing… well, unless you were some exceptional case like Theresa Apocalypse, it seemed impossible."
In fact, Auntie is a clone created by splicing Honkai Beast Vishnu DNA. She's immune to the bitter cold of the polar regions—no matter how subzero—and can function normally. She even regenerates lost limbs mid-combat.
"The downside is she never ages, so she stays a loli for life, which apparently bothers her. But since her behavior matches her appearance, maybe that's for the best."
Of course, if I ever said something like that, I'd probably hear: "You've got some nerve, Captain. Want to hear a story?"—and then get blasted by a Theresa Beam~.
For reference, what's a Theresa Beam? It's a beam based on that meme any fan would recognize, which Auntie recreated herself.
She fires it using Grandpa Otto Apocalypse's [Indomitable Will]. And though we call it a beam, it's really just a cannon.
For the record, the problem is she's the type to say, "Don't worry, it's non-lethal!" while not bothering with any power scaling.
If you dared ask, "When you say 'non-lethal,' do you mean… lethal?", you might get hit with the special move [Theresa Beam: Secret Art – Starlight Shatter].
By the way, how do I know all this?
I'll leave that to your imagination.
"Huh?"
But wait, something's off…
Why did Auntie's words, once just in my head, sound so vividly real?
As I thought that, I looked around and everyone was staring at me, shocked or awkward.
Could that be it?
Thinking that, I let out a little snort—only to have everyone look at me as if to say, "You're laughing? Really?!" while sweating bullets.
I understood their looks, but come on, I wasn't going to burst into tears.
Judging by their expressions, it was too late for forgiveness. There was only one way out.
I had to trigger a condition Auntie couldn't resist and escape this situation.
"Auntie."
"What is it~?"
"So you see, Auntie, not only is your body eternal loli, but so is your heart."
"…Is that it for your last words?"
Damn, I almost let the uncomfortable truth slip out!