He was crying..
Eian is crying.
Throughout Eian's speech I could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice from cracking, although he did his best to plaster the cracks before they revealed his true emotions, he clearly failed to win the war against the floods that threatened to cascade down his already rosy cheeks. His Eyes are so easy to read, the blue emeralds that look like a clear ocean on a sunny day became even more sparkly as if a galaxy of crystal stars was thrown over them.
My eyes were on him the whole time and the moment his figure disappeared around the corner towards the bathroom with sunken shoulders, I for some reason could not help but excused myself and also followed him.
I honestly believe and think I should let him cry and be sad on his own because the next time he cries we will not be there, The next time he cries…
I won't be there.
"Everything okay?" I say to Eian as soon as I push the bathroom door who immediately gets startled after noticing my presence.
"Oh Jackson!? -what are you doing here?"
"Toilet" I deadpan while using my thumb to point towards one of the empty bathroom stalls.
"Oh.. yes.. of cause." He says awkwardly but continues to dab his eyes with a paper towel that he grabbed from the wooden roller hanging above the gray black marble sink, his cerulean eyes are now submerged in a light shade of red, the devilish colour making him seem even more disarranged.
"Well...are you just going to stand there?" Eian says as he finally thows away the shrivelled paper towel into the trash bin next to the sink and connects his eyes with mine.
I can't control how I am feeling. I want to. I desperately want to get back my own heart and feel normal again but in this very moment, He is the most important person to me and the guest invading my system will not let his lover cry in his presence. Zack feels sad when Eden is sad, but we're not them- but even while knowing, my heart is still unconvinced.
He belongs with us.
"I know that this is strange and is probably none of my business but can I ask if you're okay?" My feet don't seem to want to move unless I find out this information. I've never heard of a heart so heavy that it cripples your legs, but standing in front this man before me,I guess its possible to even hear angels sing. Well… I think.
Silence becomes the next guest to the already overcrowded bathroom and just when I thought he won't answer, Eian once again faces the low bathroom mirror that aligns perfectly with his height and tries to fix little nothings on his hair and face. His slender arms moving here and there stretching and pulling with a few huffs and puffs of breathing techniques to try help settle his nerves.
I probably shouldn't have asked, We were never that close anyway.
"I was just going come in here and quickly wipe my face and then go out, I did not think that you would also come in here but…I am okay now, nothing to worry about and as much as I am grateful for your kindness I also do not think that we should stay in this place for a very long time as it might make other people think otherwise..."
I scoff. He is back at it again, avoiding staying in the same space as me for a long time for my own good so no misunderstands . If it was Eden he would probably be all over me cuddling my side and burying his nose in the crook of my neck to get even closer.He would have been happy I followed behind him to the bathroom because we were both just that addicted to each other but...
He is not Eden!!! I mentally face palm. I seriously really need to get a therapist.
"Of course, I will go back soon after using the restroom and certain that you're okay to comfortably go back out if it is okay with you?" I say hesitantly after clearing my voice from my own embarrassment not sure how to continue.I came here for him.
"Yes please, thank you ."
"So what did your mum feed you?" Eian suddenly says just right when I thought he would leave. I look at him dumbfounded...
''...''
"I'-I- I am so sorry oh gosh, that was supposed to stay in my head. I,I probably sound weird but I've just been very curious because when Ethan said I had a partner he did not really clarify our roles properly so I had thought you were going to be shorter and I was honestly really shocked to see that you are this big. The question has been burning my tongue for a long while now and I thought I might as well ask before I never get the chance to..." He hurriedly says while exaggerating his arms and standing on his toes to show just how bigger I am than he is.
Cute.
Is this how he usually is with people he is comfortable with?will I ever be a person he is that comfortable with?Zack wants to know...
"Well ..honest question- and I hate to disappoint because I will have you know that my mother is actually quite tall and my father is a giant so our family is just blessed by the Gods when it comes to height. I cannot give you any advice on how to get taller except that maybe you should probably drink milk and sleep well." I say to Eian who is currently holding back a laugh.His eyes no longer looking like a disturbed open star cluster.
Will he ever freely laugh in front of me, because of me ?...Zack wants to know ...
"Of course yes, good genes and milk. I will keep that in mind." I give him a small smile back and it's silent again.
Eian takes a long deep breath looks at me and says "I feel a little better now I think we can go back . Thank you for accompanying me during this moment." He heads to pull the door but before he leaves I pull his arm stopping him mid air and ask-
"Was your girlfriend happy that now you will have more time with them?"
"..."
To say the least Eian was mortified,I honestly blame my brother for putting this in my head and my unfiltered tongue for being so loose sometimes but Zack really wants to know.
"Girlfriend?!?!"Eian literally panics..
" I am a person who likes my quiet life, so no." He then adds firmly while staring at me directly in my eyes. I let go of his wrist and casually walk back to the sink where he was just standing.
"My brother wanted to know. He has been asking me about it for a long time and since we might not see each other again for a while I thought I might just ask. Sorry if I was being meddlesome." I say nonchalantly while thanking the Gods for going to acting classes these past times.
Actors are indeed the best liars.
"Well it's okay I don't mind telling you, anyway now I will go out. I think it's best I head out alone and you can come after me. Thank you once again." He says before finally pulling the bathroom door and leaving.
I left the bathroom soon after him and quickly joined the dinner downstairs. Today was not supposed to be a happy day but for some reason I can't help but feel relieved to know that Eain is single.
Zack really wanted to know.