The Nexus Mall was currently a blender of intellectual properties. Thanos was staring down Saitama, Shrek was defending his swamp (which was now the food court), and SpongeBob was trying to see if Frieza would fit into a toaster.
Suddenly, the frame of the story literally shook. A red-gloved hand reached out from the margin of the page, grabbed the text, and pulled it aside like a curtain.
"Alright, clear out, you big purple grape!" Deadpool stepped into the center of the panel, wearing a 'I Heart Fanfic' t-shirt over his suit. "The readers—specifically my buddy Soum—asked for more Wade Wilson, and Daddy's here to deliver. Also, I'm unionizing this story. Saitama, you're getting paid in coupons. Goku, you get a lifetime supply of muffins. Shrek, you get a therapist."
The Legal Intervention
"HOLD IT!"
A blue-suited man slammed his hands onto a mahogany desk that appeared out of nowhere. Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney) adjusted his tie, while She-Hulk stood next to him, cracking her green knuckles.
"This crossover is a legal nightmare!" Phoenix shouted, pointing a dramatic finger at Thanos. "You are being sued for:
Unlicensed use of a cosmic MacGuffin.Operating a floating throne without a permit.Emotional distress caused by your chin looking like a topographical map of Utah!"
"I am the Mad Titan!" Thanos roared. "Laws are for the weak!"
"Actually," She-Hulk smirked, "under the 'Multiversal Continuity Act of 2026,' since you entered this mall through a portal opened by a 'Truck-kun,' you are technically a temporary resident of the Anime Dimension. Which means you're subject to their laws."
"And what laws are those?" Thanos hissed.
"The law of the Tournament Arc!" Deadpool interrupted, pulling a giant referee whistle out of his utility belt. "We don't fight with rocks here, Barney. We fight with... Kart Racing!"
The Nexus Mall Grand Prix
Before Thanos could snap, Deadpool snapped his own fingers.
The food court transformed into a neon-soaked race track. Vehicles materialized instantly.
Batman was in the Batmobile (which now had 'Hello Kitty' stickers thanks to Deadpool).SpongeBob was driving a literal boulder. ("The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!")Rick Sanchez was in his trash-ship, currently using a portal gun to cheat before the race even started.Vegeta was in a pink convertible, looking absolutely humiliated.Thanos was forced into a tiny, purple tricycle.
"I will not participate in this mockery!" Thanos yelled, his knees hitting his chin as he pedaled.
"Too late, Grimace!" Deadpool hopped into a golf cart with Rentarou and his 27+ girlfriends. "Hey, Rentarou, buddy, move over. I need room for my chimichangas. Also, congrats on the harem. I'm not jealous. I'm just... intensely, violently envious."
The Race of Idiocy
"Ready... Set... PLUS ULTRA!" All Might shouted, dropping a checkered flag.
The engines roared. Batman took an early lead, but was immediately cut off by Scooby-Doo and Shaggy in the Mystery Machine, who were trying to escape a very confused Sukuna.
"ZOINKS! Shaggy, that guy has four eyes and he's trying to eat our sandwiches!" "Like, run, Scoob! Use the nitro-charged Scooby Snacks!"
Deadpool, meanwhile, was leaning out of his golf cart with a megaphone. "Hey, Saitama! Catch!" He threw a blue shell.
Saitama caught the blue shell with one hand. "Is this... a turtle? Can I eat it?" "No, it's a heat-seeking missile of pure frustration!" Deadpool yelled. "Throw it at the guy with the chin!"
Saitama tossed the shell. It didn't just hit Thanos; it broke the sound barrier, looped around the mall three times, and accidentally knocked Peter Griffin off his lawnmower in a completely different universe.
The Mystery Guest
As the racers rounded the final turn toward the 'Golden Cabbage' finish line, the floor collapsed. A giant, green pipe rose from the ground.
"It's-a me!"
Mario didn't even get to finish his catchphrase. He was immediately tackled by Homer Simpson, who thought Mario was a giant pepperoni.
"Mmm... plumber..." Homer drooled.
Deadpool looked at the chaos. He looked at Rick Sanchez accidentally portaling himself into a dimension where everyone is a shrimp. He looked at Batman trying to interrogate a 'No Parking' sign.
"Okay, Soum(why me you bastard)," Deadpool said, looking directly at the screen. "Things are getting a bit too spicy. We need a wildcard. Someone who can break the logic even more than me."
Deadpool reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote control. He pressed a button labeled 'Nostalgia n' Chaos'.
Suddenly, the mall speakers stopped playing anime music. They started playing the theme to... The Bugs Bunny Show.
"What's up, doc?" Bugs Bunny asked, leaning against Thanos's gauntlet and munching on a carrot. "You look a little stressed. Have you tried 'ACME' brand reality-warping? It's a hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot."