My eyes lingered at the camp, fixed on a single figure draped in furs. We decided to settle down until the weather was clear and my sole attention was on the woman beside Aldwin, sharing a cup of tea.
She was speaking to Aldwin, softened as she looked at him. She reached out, her hand resting briefly on his arm, a gesture of genuine gratitude.
"Thank you, Sir Aldwin," I heard her say, her voice carrying on the crisp air. "For not leaving me to the white. I thought I was going to die."
"You are stronger than you think, Ardelle. You can survive the blizzard and the frost. You are built differently, My Lady."
"You think?" She let out a smile that suited her so beautifully. For a moment, I forgot what I was doing and ended up staring at her.
They talked for a while, she took her medicine and returned to our tent. Her eyes hollow once again, not daring to meet my gaze and it was prickling me badly.
Ardelle stumbled, her knees buckled from the lingering tremors of the frost and before she could fall, I was there. I didn't wait for her to ask.
I moved with the silent speed of a man reclaiming what he had nearly destroyed and held her by the waist, "Careful." I whispered, helping her sit down.
"Don't," she whispered, her shoulder tense, removing my hand instantly from her skin. The word, her action, it was sharper than the blizzard.
"Ardelle, you were freezing," I started, reaching out, my hand trembling in the open air. "I had to– "
"You did what you had to do on the ridge, My Lord," She whispered, holding the fur cloak tightly to herself, maintaining her distance from me, declining a single interaction with me.
"And I am doing what I must now. Please. Leave me be. I can walk, stand, and talk on my own." She mumbled, shifting down to the rugs.
"You need to sleep–"
"I am fine, My Lord. Please. Don't be bothered." She mumbled, pulling the furs I gave her over herself and curled like a ball inside as I stood still in my place, staring at the woman I shattered, irrevocably.
I didn't say anything further and laid down as well.
The next day, we shifted to an inn in a nearby town and I brought a tray to our quarters. She was sitting by the hearth, staring into the flames with an emptiness that unsettled me.
She ignored the bread. She ignored the soup.
She… never looked like this, not even on the streets. She always had a flicker in those green eyes.
What happened to her?
"Ardelle, you need to eat."
"I have no appetite, My Lord."
Sighing, I sat beside her, pulled a small knife from my belt, and picked up a red apple. I moved slowly, meticulously, peeling the skin and cutting thin, translucent slices.
I held one out to her, the fruit trembling slightly in my fingers.
"You are angry with me," I paused, my voice low and rough, "Do not be angry with your favorite food. Eat, Ardelle."
She glanced at the apple, then at me. Her silence was a heavy weight, but eventually, she leaned forward and took the slice from my hand.
Then another.
"I did what I was trained to do," I whispered, the words feeling clumsy and inadequate.
"The King... the vow of protection I swore to the Crown is the foundation of my life. To break it is to cease being a Knight."
I brought my hand, tugging a stray strand behind her ear before averting my gaze with tentativeness.
"This is the truth, this is what I have chosen as my life."
"I…" Her lips parted with a feeble sound, "I understand, My Lord," she whispered.
I found a surge of hope, a desperate spark in my chest, looking at her expectantly, "You- You do?"
"Yes." She turned to me, a small, disappointed smile touching her lips.
"You are the commander of the Obsidian Pillars. You completed your duty with honor. My Liege must be so proud of you... and so am I." I was waiting for a 'but' and it came. More powerful than ever.
"But as a bride," she continued, her voice barely stable anymore, "I am heartbroken. You have done it twice."
The spark of hope that almost burst died in my chest, replacing it with a clench I couldn't explain. I looked down, the apple still in my hand.
"And I will never forget it. Never."
Enunciating, she rose from her seat and walked away.
Eventually we left the town but my mind constantly kept repeating what happened. Her smile, her words, everything served as a scar on my pride.
By midday, we stopped to let the horses rest.
Ardelle stood near a winter willow tree, her breathing shallow, her gaze lost in the frozen lake. Her distant demeanor with me prickling me more than she could fathom.
The sun caught the stray hairs of her braid as she was adjusting her hat, allowing her hair to flow in the air gracefully, obviously gaining the glances from every man in the vicinity.
Even his Majesty watched the way her hair sway.
The obsidian in my chest dissolved.
I lost my mind at that moment.
I walked up behind her. I didn't think of the King ten paces away. I didn't think of my mother's letter or the prying eyes of the squires.
I simply reached out and pulled her back against my chest possessively.
"Wh- What- Who- My Lord!?"
I wrapped my arms around her waist, my hands locking over her stomach. I felt her sharp intake of breath, her body stiffening in surprise, but I didn't let go.
Instead, I pulled her closer, lifting her slightly until her toes barely brushed the dirt. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, submerging in the sensation of her body against mine, my lips finding her shoulder.
"I am sorry, Ardelle, I broke my promise."
I kissed her, my movements slow. It was a silent, frantic apology pressed into her skin that stunned her undoubtedly.
I inhaled the scent of her, the fading smell of the infirmary oil and the sweet scent of her skin, blinding me.
I shut my eyes.
The more she tried to resist, the harder I pressed her into me, surging my desperation, my heat, my uncontrollable sensation into her. Refusing to unshackle her.
My teeth dug deeper, indulging in the taste of her skin, the pure, raw sensation of what everyone could only imagine to touch being officially mine.
The pride overwhelmed as I kissed deeper, my mind in a state of daze until my wrist was slapped by a hand, causing my eyes that shut me off from the to flutter open.
"L-Lord K-Kaldric?" she gasped, her voice trembling with shock.
"My Lord, what are you... everyone is..."
The sound of my name on her lips acted like a bucket of ice water. I became suddenly, acutely aware of the silence that had fallen over the camp.
I looked up to see the King's knights frozen mid-task. Even the horses seemed to be watching, with mouths dropped too.
I let her go abruptly, my hands dropping to my sides, a sudden heat remained to touch again but I controlled myself. I stepped back, my heart pounding madly against my ribcage.
The Stoic Commander had just been caught behaving like the very man he had vowed never to become.
Ardelle turned to look at me, her face flushed a deep, vibrant crimson and completely confused.
Her eyes were wide, searching mine for the monster she knew, but finding only a man who was hopelessly, dangerously lost.
She didn't say a word. She gathered her skirts and walked away, her pace hurried, disappearing toward the tree, to be anywhere but here.
I stood alone by the willow tree. I could feel the eyes of the vanguard on my back, Aldwin's smug confusion, the King's quiet amusement.
I should have felt ashamed. I should have felt the weight of my mother's warning.
Instead, I slowly raised my hand, my fingers tracing the outline of my own lips. The sensation of her skin still lingered there, leaving me mesmerized and craving for… more.
I straightened my tunic, my fingers still tingling.
"My, my, what a marvellous display."
Sir Zack Sorik, we used to be rivals when we were squires, he was the King's personal shield.
A man who possessed far too much leisure time for a knight of his standing, and his desire to catch anything to piss me off, came to a halt beside me.
He leaned against the very tree Ardelle had occupied moments ago, crossing his arms with a predatory grin.
"Tell me, Kaldric," Zack continued, pitching his voice just loud enough for the nearby squires to catch.
"Is that a standard tactical maneuver? Though, I suppose it's effective for... subduing the opposition, especially when it's a woman."
I turned slowly, my expression settling back into the hardened mask but it was failing badly.
"Sorik," I called him cautiously, raising my brows.
"Commander," he countered, his eyebrows dancing up and down.
"You looked less like a man leading a vanguard and more like a wolf who'd forgotten his leash." He pointed towards the horses.
"Even the horses stopped grazing. Look at them—they're scandalized."
His Majesty stepped forward. King Alaric looked satisfied, which was infinitely more dangerous. He swirled a silver goblet in one hand.
"A fascinating display of diplomacy, Kaldric," the King remarked.
"I was under the impression this was an expedition to end a coup, not a honeymoon. Though, given the... sudden nature of your marriage, I suppose the lines are blurred." He laughed, taking a slow sip of wine.
"Your Majesty," I said, tilting my head. I offered no excuses.
To apologize would be to admit I regretted it, and the lingering taste of her skin on my lips told me I was a liar if I tried.
"It is a heavy burden, which to choose? The beginning is the golden time of the marriage after all." Zack added.
King mused, stepping closer until he was shoulder-to-shoulder with me.
"Indeed. To own something so beautiful but you forget the world is watching. And this is a Royal Parade."
Zack snickered. "I'll have the scribes update the records. 'The Emberspear Expedition.' Location: Willow Creek. Casualties: None. Honor: Compromised. Commander's dignity: Missing in action."
Zack was dying to find a sensitive spot of mine but I won't let him have a taste of victory just like old times.
They expected me to sputter, to grow stiff with shame, or to offer a stilted military justification.
Instead, I looked at the King, then shifted my gaze to Zack. I let the memory of her breaths and the way she had felt, small and mine, settle in my bones.
I simply let a slow, dark smirk spread across my face.
"She is all mine to hold, Sire," I said quietly, my eyes going all around, loud enough for them all to know.
"The world can watch all it likes. They cannot touch, let alone to own what I do."
Enunciated and making this a warning to the leering men too, I walked back to my station and continued working like nothing happened.
Zack's grin faltered into a look of genuine surprise, and the King let out a short bark of a laugh.
"Gods help us," the King sighed, shaking his head as he turned back toward his tent.
"He's not ashamed. He's proud."