Never let your guard down, I meant phone.
In the clubroom..
Before Reze had woken up, It was a pretty early in the morning long before the dawn...
I've woke up before her and looked at her, she sleeping peaceful on my arm for second she looked like a angel "Not the demoness who wanted to devower me last night. He gently sides her hair strand, that was coming onto her face.
He moved his hand careful, as if he might broke something down. As he moved his hand gently and put the cushion on her head, just her eyes frowned for a bit, but than she went back to her sleep.
For a moment, just for a moment I've wondered if this moment would last forever, me waking up besides her, early in the morning everyday.
How would that feel...
I looked around the room, We really did make the mess last night here.
Sigh...
He got up as, he started cleaning the room, beer cans, packets of chips, box of the condoms that she unusually had last night, his eyes gone to her handphone that vibrated, unintentionally.
kazama messaged—i'm sorry senpai, if I did anything that day and annoyed you. can we please meet again and have a talk, let's go out on a date i'll treat you remember. That you've promised me a date, if I done what you had said, to the Senna.
"Kazama? He read a loud. Looking at the notification bar of the handphone.
———
A memorie flashed through in past. Mayama introducing him, meet he is Kazama Our second year treasurer and one of a main lead actors.
He extended his hand, It's nice to meet you."So you are the special entry, president agreed to take in, Hm... Kazama Said. looking, really looking at me, like he was analysising his enemy, my hand hovering in air awkwardly.
Just as Hanabi took the handshake. Nice to meet you too, I'm Hanabi your second year senior. Remember we meet that day, "Yeah I remember the idiot" He said. Hey, already disrespecting your senior, Asusa laughed from behind. I'm just kidding Senpai.
Than I looked back at Kazama, as our eyes met. He question, I remember seeing you at the afterparty of the orientation, you're pretty good at drinking, you've still holded up against those drink maniac seniors I give you that one, I'll remember you left with Reze that night.
A pause maybe a silence in the room.
Asuza leaned at Kakashi looking at the pause, hanabi her face was too obvious, curious and questioning.
"So this is where this is going, huh, I just have dropped her home, told me she was too drunk to walk alone, That's all".
That all kazama said. "what's there more to be", He replied with a blank look.
———
He picked her phone up, carefully unlocked it with her touch iD. He surprised for a moment, cuz her wallpaper had the picture of her in the highschool uniform, He thought she was already bloomed in high school, I would die to see her in that highschool uniform again.
Damn Ah, I didn't knew I had a highschool girl fetishe he thought, until I saw this.
I know it's wrong to see a someone's phone without their permission, But she is the one who let her guard down. So, no offence. He'd open her message app, full of unread messages, half in Chinese, and others in a language he didn't understood, what the?
Than the page of other chats full in Japanese, Chinese huh, He said, tried to read it by the translation tool from his own phone.
He scrolled slowly, the translations popping up in a clumsy lines, half-sentences stitched together by the app.
Most of them weren't confessions. They were logistics. Rehearsal timings. Costume notes. A dozen reminders from juniors who didn't know where else to go. the message's of her old friend's from China, Hongkong, I mean I knew she was half Chinese exchange student, but then, buried deeper, messages that made his thumb pause.
From Kazama. Old chats..
•••
Did you eat Senpai?
•••
You disappeared after the festival meeting.
•••
President worries too much. I can walk you home next time.
•••
I have tickets of the movie you wanted to watch wanna go after the play.
•••
More and more... Can't he tell she is ignoring him, He exhaled.
He exhaled, Not rage. Not a jealousy, Something quieter, heavier. The kind of weight that settles between when you realize a life existed before you stepped into the room—and it will keep moving forward even if you leave.
Another chat. This one in Chinese, the
translation rough but readable.
Father called again...
Than a note attached to a diary app, they want me to stop Director after graduation and take a job in a company.
If I fail this Movie, this play, it'll be my last.
•••
He trys to find more old ones, to find something more about her, but it stooped at the 21 august 2024. "Not much old just a month's old ones are here" He thought.
Than, in the old notes of her diary, A mention of someone probably her ex.
September 16, Monday.
"I called him drunk again. He picked up, so why didn't he say anything, He always do this to embarrass me".
Rya came to pick me up...
•••
December 24, Sunday.
I Dream about him again. Than on the same day in the bar. "I met with a guy who looked just like him, I hooked him up, but somehow he wasn't good enough in satisfying me, to be called him.
Maybe I should stop hooking up guys who look like him, it's not like he'd gonna return if I found a man who looks like him.
Ah, my head is getting messed up.
•••
Summer 19 Jan, Mon, 2025.
I've met Sheliy, in a bar, she was grining ear to ear enjoying her diamond ring that Oven seemed to have proposed her with. And my only mistake was to congratulate her.
"Congratulations did Oven proposed to you?" She smiles like a white tea bitch, and said, getting up from a bar stool, "Reze! what are you doing here finding a new target to cure your loneliness. I've also smiled back like a Black coffee bitch.
Sheily leaned closer, her smile sharp—too sharp to be friendly. "Did you know… Lemon is dating someone these days?" Reze's fingers tightened around her glass. "…What?" she asked, too quickly.
Sheily shrugged, enjoying it. "Some girl. I think her name was… Light? Cute, soft type. Totally his type, right?" I heard a talk of their wedding going around.
A pause, maybe a crack—silent, but real. Reze laughed, Not because it was funny. "Of course," she said, taking a slow sip, her eyes lowering into the drink. "Good for him." But her grip on the glass didn't loosen.
Sheily tilted her head, studying her. "You really didn't know? Wow… I thought you still kept tabs on him." Reze's smile widened—dangerously calm. "I don't keep tabs on trash I've thrown away."
She chocked onto her drink, "are you sure you have thrown him, "Not the other way around him ditching you?"
Than "Hmm…" Sheily hummed, unconvinced. "Funny. Because you still look like you're waiting for him to come back."
For a moment—just a fraction of a second—Reze's her expression slipped. Something raw. Something ugly.
Then it was gone her professional mask slipping in casually, She stood up, grabbing her coat. "Enjoy your engagement, Sheily. "And you enjoy your… Night."
She didn't respond. just walked out. After walking for a while she stopped in the middle of the Corridor. "Why did I walk out?" She muttered to herself.
Than her phone buzzed, Rya message—
"Hey today is the afterparty of the Collage orientation, There are so many cute, and handsome freshmeats around here are you joining in...
She type back sure, than she stared at her phone for a second maybe too long after typing "sure."
The corridor lights flickered faintly above her. Quiet. Empty."…Why did I walk out?" she muttered again, softer this time. But no answer came.
Only that lingering irritation in her chest.
Lemon, His name. "Tch." She shoved the thought away, pushing open the exit door.
———
Just after that—
I met him, in the afterparty that was already loud when i've arrived. Music thumping. Laughter spilling over itself. Voices overlapping—freshers trying too hard, seniors pretending they weren't watching them.
I've stepped in, And like always—
The room shifted a bit "Not loudly, But enough that people realize my presence.
A few heads turned. Conversations dipped. Someone whispered my name. But I didn't care.
Her eyes scanned once, quick and sharp.
Then—
I've saw him. At the far end. "Senkai". His head was down, he looked like a injured kitten. Getting forced to drink and all.
I've gone there looking at the rya waving her hand, Hanamichi sat there raging the all freshmans like usual. He looked at me and few more people's behind me He shouted, Greet your third year seniors, Senkai He got his head up to greet all of us, somewhere I felt bad.
"May I sit here. I've said.
Senkai, who had been hunched slightly—glass still in his hand Said. "Sure" Than He—lifted his head up, Slowly, Like something fragile being pulled back into the light.
And then—
Our eyes met.
For a moment…
The world didn't stop, voices still clashed, Glasses still touched and laughed against each other. I've handed him over the hangover pills that I've stll had leftover from the last party.
But for us—
It blurred, Like rain against a window, Distant and unimportant.
Reze sat there, just a few inches apart him, She had seen countless faces before.
The Confident ones. Arrogant ones. Broken ones trying to hide it. But his—Was quiet. "Not weak, nor loud, Just… quiet. Like a still lake that didn't bother reflecting the chaos around it.
His eyes met mine—not by accident, "Not by a hesitation, But Just… naturally as if they had already known where to look.
"That was the "senkai yoshimura." I've still remember that night it was like a instant pull like a shock, that pulled us together."
Than He closed her phone..
———
Than his gaze slid back to her on the bed. The steady rise and fall of her breathing. The faint frown she always wore in sleep, like she was arguing with a dream.
"So that's it," he murmured, more to himself than to the room.
She wasn't careless. She was just carrying too much, He locked the phone and set it back exactly where it had been, as if alignment could erase intrusion. Room looked cleaner now, but the air felt messier. Dawn pressed faint silver along the edges of the curtains.
He went to the window and stood there, arms folded, thinking of that pause in the club room weeks ago—the way Kazama's eyes had lingered, measuring, "Not hostile, but Protective, something familiar. But more than him what bothered him was that guy lemon mentioned in her diary notes..
Than he was suddenly reminded of her words..
"I'm nice to people... Until they cross the line, which is when I throw them away... "
Don't know, but I somehow felt relieved. And I'm just passing through, He thought. They're the ones who gonna stay.
A soft sound behind him—fabric shifting. He turned, and thought she might be in a hangover.. He walked through the door to get some water for her....
———