Ji Xu'an was left speechless.
She felt that Jiang Jiang was speculating about her in her heart, that she did not trust her—but when had she ever truly trusted Jiang Jiang?
Many times, they were both hiding things from each other. Jiang Jiang had many secrets she was unwilling to tell her, and she herself also had many matters she concealed from Jiang Jiang.
So she had no right to accuse Jiang Jiang.
Thinking of this, Ji Xu'an could not help but lower her head, her tone becoming heavy and muffled. "I'm sorry, Jiang Jiang."
After a few seconds of silence, Ji Xu'an added, "I shouldn't have randomly guessed at your feelings."
Perhaps the two of them were both the type who did not like to speak their true thoughts aloud. If there was something on their minds, they would rather stubbornly burrow into a dead end by themselves than let anyone else know.
Ji Xu'an's duplicity stemmed from Jiang Jiang's resistance toward her, yet Jiang Jiang, because of Ji Xu'an's attitude, became even more convinced that there was no affection between them. The two of them had long fallen into this vicious cycle, yet they remained completely unaware of it.
It was only when Ji Xu'an could no longer endure it that she was the first to break this deadlock.
Who was right and who was wrong was difficult to argue. Jiang Jiang temporarily suppressed this issue and chose not to discuss it, instead bringing up another matter.
"You said you like me…" She deliberately drew out the last syllable, her slightly reddened almond-shaped eyes staring unblinkingly at Ji Xu'an. "I don't understand."
Under Ji Xu'an's puzzled gaze, Jiang Jiang continued, "It seems like I haven't done anything particularly moving for you. Where exactly do your feelings for me come from?"
This question briefly stumped Ji Xu'an as well. If she truly had to explain when she had started liking Jiang Jiang, she really could not clearly state the exact time or reason.
If she had known, she would certainly have avoided making mistakes in advance, instead of only realizing her feelings for Jiang Jiang after she had already done some things that even she herself regretted.
After a few seconds of silence, Ji Xu'an let out a soft sigh and answered honestly, "I don't know."
Jiang Jiang's eyes trembled slightly, but before she could speak, she heard Ji Xu'an continue, "Perhaps the question should be changed to—why wouldn't I like you?"
"No matter whether it's your personality, your character, your appearance, or your knowledge, you have achieved a level that leaves nothing to be criticized. In the day-by-day interactions between us, being attracted to you—isn't that the most natural thing?"
Perhaps sensing that her words sounded somewhat perfunctory, Ji Xu'an took a deep breath and continued in an earnest tone, "Actually… I don't know exactly when I started liking you either. Perhaps when my gaze began lingering on you longer and longer, I was already being drawn to you."
There was something very special about Jiang Jiang's temperament. Ji Xu'an could not articulate exactly what was special about it, but she would always be unconsciously attracted to Jiang Jiang, and thus grow curious about her.
And curiosity often signifies the beginning of a relationship.
When Ji Xu'an reached this point and saw that Jiang Jiang remained silent, she could not help but feel anxious.
She did not know how to explain it to Jiang Jiang. She could only try to make her tone sound more sincere, yet Ji Xu'an still worried that Jiang Jiang would not believe her.
After all, even she herself felt that her explanation was no different from empty nonsense.
"Jiang Jiang, I…"
Before Ji Xu'an could finish this sentence, Jiang Jiang gently shook her head. She had probably guessed what Ji Xu'an wanted to say, but there was no need. This was already enough.
Ji Xu'an abruptly stopped speaking. Since Jiang Jiang did not want to hear it, she could only swallow the rest of her words.
Ji Xu'an stood stiffly in place, the fingers hanging at her sides curling tighter and tighter, her nails digging deeply into her palms.
Only pain could allow her chaotic mind to barely maintain calm, so that she would not lose composure in front of Jiang Jiang.
Jiang Jiang had already, imperceptibly, taken control of this conversation. She relaxed her body, letting her lower back rest against the back of the chair, then slightly raised her head to look at Ji Xu'an. "I know. You like me because I'm obedient and sensible, because I rely on you wholeheartedly."
Ji Xu'an had praised Jiang Jiang more than once for being well-behaved. That showed that what she liked was precisely that version of Jiang Jiang.
"But if— I mean if—perhaps even those things are all something I'm using to deceive you, have you never doubted it?"
When Jiang Jiang asked this question, she had already answered it in her heart. It was impossible that Ji Xu'an had never doubted it.
"Just like at the very beginning, when you suspected that Xie Xiao and Grandma were both liars. Although I'm not Xie Xiao, I also never told you the truth."
Perhaps what Ji Xu'an liked was merely the persona she had disguised herself with. Jiang Jiang could not stop herself from thinking about these things.
Ji Xu'an had first developed pity for her because of the incident when she was kidnapped by Liang Junsheng. But if Ji Xu'an were to learn that this matter had actually been, in a sense, orchestrated by her own hand, perhaps Ji Xu'an would not like her so much anymore.
Jiang Jiang could not hide this from Ji Xu'an for a lifetime. One day, it would inevitably be discovered. At that time, would Ji Xu'an still be able to say with such certainty that she liked her?
Ji Xu'an listened carefully to Jiang Jiang's voice. Only after Jiang Jiang finished did she fix her gaze steadily on Jiang Jiang's eyes and part her thin lips. "Perhaps… you don't understand the real me very well either."
"In truth, I'm not as upright as you think."
At her core, Ji Xu'an was someone who was extremely protective of her own. Her intolerance for even a grain of sand was directed only at outsiders. When it came to her own people, Ji Xu'an had a different set of principles.
"Not to mention that you have never truly taken the initiative to hurt anyone. Even if you have used some small schemes, it was merely for self-preservation."
At this point, Ji Xu'an paused. She looked at Jiang Jiang, her dark eyes like two deep pools. "Even if you really have done something bad, it doesn't matter. I will clean up after you."
Ji Xu'an's voice was very soft, yet there was an unquestionable certainty in her tone.
Jiang Jiang was stunned for a moment. After pondering for a few seconds, she said, "What if those bad things were directed at you?"
She had thought she would see a nervous expression on Ji Xu'an's face, yet unexpectedly Ji Xu'an let out a heavy sigh of relief. In her originally calm and unruffled brows and eyes, even a ripple of a smile spread. "Then that wouldn't count as a bad thing."
"On the contrary, that would be the best outcome."
If Jiang Jiang wanted to scheme against someone else, Ji Xu'an would have to worry about whether Jiang Jiang would be discovered. If the situation were too serious, Jiang Jiang might even attract the attention of those above.
So Ji Xu'an would rather Jiang Jiang wanted to scheme against herself.
"No matter what you want to do to me, as long as you promise that you are willing to stay by my side forever, and that sentence isn't a lie to me, that's enough."
Compared to other unimportant harm, Ji Xu'an was more afraid that Jiang Jiang would leave her. She could not endure the feeling of having once possessed something only to lose it again.
This time Jiang Jiang was truly stunned. From Ji Xu'an's meaning, it seemed that she did not care whether Jiang Jiang was scheming against her.
"What if what I want is the Ji family's property? Aren't you afraid?" she reminded her.
Clearly, at the very beginning, Ji Xu'an had warned her multiple times not to indulge in wishful thinking.
Ji Xu'an probably also recalled the words she had once said. Her expression was slightly unnatural as she replied in a very small voice, "That was the attitude toward someone I didn't like."
Ji Xu'an's personality was perhaps the kind that wished for someone she loved to live, and someone she hated to die.
Yet Jiang Jiang did not feel much joy upon hearing this. Her brows remained tightly furrowed, as if she were contemplating some difficult problem. After quite a while, she asked again, "Do you really like me that much?"
Ji Xu'an nodded. At this moment, she was like a primary school student being questioned by a teacher, her eyelashes trembling uneasily as she waited nervously and apprehensively for Jiang Jiang's answer.
Jiang Jiang examined the woman standing before her. It was still that familiar face, yet the expression at the corners of her eyes and brows was completely different from before. Jiang Jiang even saw a faint flush of discomfort on Ji Xu'an's face.
Perhaps the words just now had already required Ji Xu'an to muster the greatest courage to say them aloud. After all, she was usually sparing with her words, her emotions restrained to the point that no one could ever guess what she was thinking.
Time passed bit by bit. Just as Ji Xu'an was so nervous that even her heartbeat was nearly thrown out of rhythm, she suddenly heard Jiang Jiang abruptly ask, "Then what is going on between you and Zhou Zisuo?"
This question caused Ji Xu'an's mind to go blank for two seconds.
And in those two seconds, Jiang Jiang added, "You always avoid answering questions about her."
"Ji Xu'an, you think I didn't give you a sense of security, but I also haven't felt enough trust from you."
"Regardless of whether we are bound together because of feelings, at the very least we signed an agreement. I am your future wife."
"What about Zhou Zisuo?"
Ji Xu'an had always been unwilling to let Jiang Jiang know about Zhou Zisuo's matters, precisely because she was afraid Jiang Jiang would overthink. But only now did she realize that her evasive attitude could equally cause Jiang Jiang to misunderstand.
In the very first second after reacting, Ji Xu'an did not immediately explain her relationship with Zhou Zisuo. Instead, she stared tightly at Jiang Jiang with both eyes and cautiously asked, "Why do you care so much about her existence?"
Jiang Jiang's heart thudded heavily twice.
So sometimes, she truly disliked Ji Xu'an's sharpness. Ji Xu'an could always see the essence of a matter at a glance.
Jiang Jiang avoided Ji Xu'an's gaze. "I asked you first."
"Alright." Ji Xu'an seemed to understand something. She rubbed her fingertips together, as if wanting to smile, yet the muscles on her face were still too tense from earlier to pull into even the slightest curve. In the end, Ji Xu'an could only take a deep breath.
She did not seem to realize that she had already fallen from the role of the initial questioner into the passive position of the one answering.
"Zhou Zisuo once pursued me."
As soon as these words left her mouth, the expression on Jiang Jiang's face cooled.
Ji Xu'an did not conceal anything. Her tone was also very indifferent, as if she were recounting something unrelated to herself.
"The decision to sign her as the spokesperson for the new product was the result of a vote by all the company's shareholders. At that time, I was not familiar with her, nor did I understand what kind of person she was."
"We have never had any private contact. Every meeting was because of work, and my attitude toward her has always remained the same."
So when she heard Zhou Zisuo's confession, Ji Xu'an's first reaction was that it was absurd.
However, Zhou Zisuo was far from her only pursuer, and it was not the first time she had been confessed to. Therefore, Ji Xu'an had not taken this person to heart.
Yet it was precisely because of her disregard that she later suffered a severe loss at Zhou Zisuo's hands.
By this point, Jiang Jiang had already sensed that behind this lay an experience Ji Xu'an was most unwilling to recall.
She observed the subtle changes in Ji Xu'an's expression and probed tentatively:
"So, what did Zhou Zisuo do to you?"
—
T/N: If you're enjoying this translation, feel free to check out my Patreon. If you're unable to support financially, you can still subscribe for free and receive chapters two hours earlier, along with updates and announcements. Paid tiers offer early access and daily chapters.
Thank you so much for reading!
patreon.com/Baenz