Chapter 342. Despicable Crusch
「"Is Sir Hachiman worried that being with me will cause some harm to the Emilia camp or Emilia herself? —As expected, whether you have amnesia or not, Sir Hachiman is Sir Hachiman. You're truly impressive."」
「Crusch was taken aback for a moment, but she understood quickly and offered her praise without hesitation.」
「Having his subtext exposed, Hikigaya Hachiman coughed awkwardly... It couldn't be helped; Emilia had treated him so sincerely just now.」
「Although it was impossible for him to accept this girl or the fact that his past self loved Emilia just because of that, he at least wanted to ensure he didn't hurt her.」
「"Your concern is justified, because a year ago, the sense of competition and the state of opposition between the candidates was indeed quite intense."」
「Crusch stopped walking and raised her hand to point toward him. "The one who changed that situation was you, Sir Hachiman. Because you interacted with every candidate and improved those relationships, you acted as a hub. Your friendly attitude toward each candidate influenced them all."」
「"After that, the competition between candidates became a purely friendly and healthy one—except for Priscilla."」
「"I'm on good terms with all the candidates?" Hikigaya Hachiman interrupted Crusch in surprise. He knit his brows and said in confusion: "With Miss Anastasia as well?"」
「"From the perspective of my post-amnesia self, yes, that is correct."」
「"How is that possible...?"」
「Hikigaya Hachiman was perplexed. How could he possibly be on good terms with someone like Anastasia? He should naturally dislike people of her type.」
「Allowing dozens of people to commit suicide for the sake of her own goals—even if those people were so willing they couldn't ask for more—Anastasia's character had been laid bare. She was indeed the kind of person he disliked.」
「"Is something wrong, Sir Hachiman?" Crusch's voice pulled him back to reality. Hikigaya Hachiman shook his head slightly, pushing his doubts to the bottom of his heart, intending to probe Anastasia herself later.」
「Gathering his spirit, he continued to ask with a slight flush and an unnatural air, posing a question he felt he had to ask: "So, are you and I... well, friends?"」
「"—"」
「Crusch froze.」
「Her breathing suddenly became much faster. A struggle flashed through her pupils as she suddenly realized something.」
「According to Ferris's investigation, over a year ago, Sir Hachiman had suddenly appeared in the Royal Capital. At that time, he was a stranger in a strange land and happened to encounter Emilia... The inner details were unknown, but in short, he helped Emilia retrieve the insignia stolen by Felt.」
「After that, he moved into Roswaal's mansion, many things happened in succession, and only then did he decide to support Emilia and become her knight.」
「According to the current situation, Sir Hachiman's memories should be from over a year ago, during the period before he arrived at the Royal Capital.」
「"Gulp—"」
「Crusch's throat moved uncontrollably; her eyes grew hot and burning.」
「She suddenly realized.」
「This meant that the reality of her confession being rejected by Sir Hachiman had been erased. Furthermore, the current Sir Hachiman belonged to no one, because he felt no sense of belonging to Emilia.」
「In other words, she, Crusch, was now standing on the same starting line as everyone else—including Emilia. Referring to her experience from the failed confession last time, if she started over and planned things out slowly and deliberately, she might actually succeed!」
「The moment she realized this, the thought of deceiving Sir Hachiman surged uncontrollably in the depths of her heart. Subconsciously, she felt that Sir Hachiman's amnesia was actually a good thing that benefited her.」
「"I like your integrity, Crusch."」
「A sentence mentioned in many of Sir Hachiman's letters over the past year collided violently in her mind with those other two thoughts.」
「"—Yes, that's right. We are friends, very close friends, Sir Hachiman."」
「Before the collision even ended, she had already spoken those words uncontrollably. She said only that much, keeping absolutely silent about the fact that she liked him and loved him.」
「Crusch's heart pounded violently, but no matter how she forced herself, she couldn't open her mouth further. Her soul, her body, and her subconscious were all coveting this opportunity, resisting her control.」
「Because she loved Sir Hachiman, wanted to have him, and wanted to be with him.」
「For that, if she had to discard something...」
「—She absolutely, definitely did not want to discard that integrity. She wanted to remain forever that upright Crusch whom Sir Hachiman liked.」
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"So, she chose self-deception, discarding the 'Sage King' mindset that views facts objectively," Shinomiya Kaguya analyzed at the Shinomiya residence. "The post-amnesia Crusch must have heard from Ferris about the scene where she was tricked by Hikigaya during the White Whale negotiations.
Since she still wants to remain upright but has now deceived Hikigaya, Crusch naturally adopted Hikigaya's own method: concealing certain information without saying it. Just not saying it doesn't count as lying."
Nearby, Hayasaka Ai let out a sigh. She had really liked the righteous Crusch from before the amnesia. "To turn such an upright woman into this... Hikigaya Hachiman, this man who attracts bees and butterflies, really is a never-ending calamity."
"In other words, she's awakened, hasn't she?"
In the Hoshin Trading Company, Anastasia—who was pouting aggrievedly with her slender hand supporting her chin and her eyes narrowed—became wary. "A Crusch who is starting to use any means necessary... and the post-amnesia Prime Minister, without the time spent together in the IF-line and without a deep understanding of me, has reverted to his initial dislike of me."
"Conversely, his first impression of Crusch is always so good."
A situation that was originally a guaranteed victory had undergone an earth-shattering reversal because of Ley Batenkaitos's Authority.
If they didn't catch Batenkaitos and retrieve the memories soon, things would continue this way. Regardless of whether her Prime Minister was willing to accept Emilia or Crusch, she, Anastasia, would be out of the running.
"Gluttony, that bastard 'Fake' who deserves a miserable death... cutting him into a thousand pieces wouldn't be enough to satisfy my hatred!"
The entire Anastasia camp, including all Anastasia fans across both worlds, felt a bone-deep hatred for Batenkaitos at this moment—hatred to the extreme!
"A fragile, despicable me, huh?"
At the Karsten mansion, Crusch gave a bitter smile and whispered to herself.
The "fragile" version of herself had pointed out a clear path for the current her. But if possible, she wanted to change nothing and face Sir Hachiman with her current, upright, and non-self-deceiving self.
Because Sir Hachiman had always liked this version of her the most; so much liking, so much praise.
"However, if I have to be despicable to snatch Sir Hachiman, if I have to change to get him..."
Then let her, Crusch, be a despicable person for once!
Therefore—
"Surpass Anastasia, break her nightmare concerning me, and go claim Sir Hachiman's body and heart, my despicable self!"
Mingled with helplessness and secret joy, the upright Crusch offered her support to herself.
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