A few moments after his consciousness vanished, Even felt as if he were floating in a sea of otherworldly fragrance. He slowly opened his eyes. The surroundings looked like a living masterpiece of heaven, painted by a classical artist. Above him was a sky of cotton-like clouds, hiding a soft, golden glow. The air was so pure that every breath felt like it was pumping new life into his veins.
As Even tried to stand up, a magical blue screen suddenly appeared before his eyes—a System Window!
Even's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't just a creature of the Pornographic web; he had spent thousands of hours reading web novels and comics in the corners of the internet. This system interface was as familiar to him as a universal truth. Excitement began to surge through every cell of his brain.
"Am I really in another world?" he whispered. "Am I going to be a hero like Jin-Woo from Solo Leveling? The System will give me missions, I'll level up, and one day I'll be the strongest man on earth!"
He imagined that this might be an epic tale like Shadow Slave. Though he had never actually Started that wed novel, getting a System meant his luck had just pulled a 180-degree turn. He began to picture himself on an imaginary throne.
But before his heroic saga could even begin, the System's mechanical and utterly insulting voice spoke:
[Analysis Complete...]
[An image of a middle finger appeared]
[Disgusting]
"WHAT?!"
…
The soft, cloud-like ground beneath Even's feet vanished instantly. Gravity took hold, and he began to plummet at high speed. Without any warning, he slammed into the heart of a vast blue ocean.
Splash!!
The salty sea water rushed into his nose and mouth like arrows. With his fifteen years of obesity and laziness, he didn't know the first thing about swimming. He began to drown, gasping for air. Surprisingly, even in this life-or-death struggle, he did not let go of his only treasure—the laptop tucked under his arm. Though by now, it had likely died from the salt water.
He thrashed his limbs like a madman, trying to scream for help, but the System had turned cold as stone. Perhaps the System itself hadn't expected its new Host to be a hundred-kilogram, filthy man with demonic habits. There was no heroism, no level-up—it was as if the System had dumped him in the middle of the ocean out of pure spite.
As Even sank, he saw the soft blue sky above getting smaller and smaller. Between the pressure of the salt water and the despair in his chest, he was on the verge of passing out.
In the final fading sparks of his consciousness, death felt like a cold, dark blanket of salt water. His heavy body was sinking like a stone. Just then, he felt something strange. In the silence of the deep, someone gently touched his bloated body.
A magical touch!
A pair of soft yet powerful hands wrapped around Even's waist and began pushing him toward the surface. By then, with liters of salt water in his stomach, Even was nearly unconscious. But his subconscious instinct to cling was still working. As the laptop began to slip from his arm in the current, the owner of those magical hands caught it with incredible speed.
It was as if they understood that this strange plastic object was dearer than life to this man. They pulled Even close to their chest, keeping both the man and the laptop safe.
Half-conscious, Even felt a strange warmth. The touch of a soft, supple body underwater. Trying to kick his legs to survive, he hit something large and slippery.
A scaly, fleshy tail of a giant fish!
Human hands but a fish's tail?
Even's numbed brain sent a signal—this was no ordinary human.
Even felt the first truth of this fantasy world through touch. The soft pressure of naked breasts against his chest and the waves of magical hair told him his savior was a young woman. His lifelong forbidden habits and video-watching experience were the only things forced his nerves to recognize this signal.
…
A little later, Even felt the roughness of sand against his back. The mysterious girl dragged him onto the shore. Even tried to look through blurry eyes. Under the blue glow of the sky, he saw a beautiful face and a wild mane of wet hair reaching down to her waist. But Even's body was paralyzed; his lungs were drowning in salt water.
The girl grew worried. She began pressing on Even's chest with both hands to force the water out. Seeing no response, she made a final attempt—she pressed her lips against his. Artificial respiration began:
mouth-to-mouth.
There was a world of difference between the lust of the videos Even had watched all his life and this life-saving touch. As the magical girl's breath entered his lungs, for the first time, he felt like he wasn't a pornographic character—he was a living human being, being born again.
Within the depths of Even's mind, there was a strange resonance. The cool touch of the mermaid on his lips and the fresh oxygen filling his lungs left him in a magical daze. It felt as if, for the first time, the dead soul inside his heavy body was trying to come alive.
But that peace shattered like a house of cards. Overpowering the heavenly fragrance, a primitive stench of raw meat and sweat hit his nose. He heard heavy, rhythmic footsteps on the sand.
Thump!
Thump!
Thump!
These footsteps were far heavier and more terrifying than Vasco's. It sounded like a giant army was marching toward him. Even hadn't opened his eyes yet when a sharp sound echoed near his ear—Splash!
Had the Girl sensed danger and fled back into the depths?
Even opened his eyes, trembling, and his heart nearly stopped.
Standing before him were three horrific monsters—Orcs.
Over seven feet tall, with hideous green skin, ivory-like tusks protruding from their mouths, and blood-red eyes fixed on Even. They held giant, rusted axes and maces aimed directly at his chest.
The magical silence of the seashore turned into a slaughterhouse in a second. Even realized the girl had jumped into the water to save herself; fighting these monsters was impossible for her.
But Even?
He didn't even have a chance to run.
Without a second's delay, Even threw his fat arms into the air in a hands up position. He knew that to these monsters, mercy meant nothing. In the pages of fantasy novels, he had seen how brutal they were—human meat was a delicacy to them.
Looking down at his massive belly, Even swallowed hard. He thought to himself, With a body like mine, they're going to have a grand party tonight!
This hundred kilos of fat will probably feed them for a whole week!
Seeing Even's strange behavior, the three Orcs stood still like stone statues. They looked at each other, as if trying to analyze the weird actions of a rare species. Their ugly faces were filled with confusion. Their primitive brains couldn't understand why this human cub was sitting there with his hands up.
A heavy silence lasted for a few moments. Then, the largest Orc took a step forward. He leaned in close to Even's face. Even felt a hot, foul, stinking breath blast against him. It smelled as if someone had shoved rotting meat and sewer filth directly up his nose.
Even felt an intense urge to vomit. As he lowered one hand to cover his mouth to hold it back—the other Orc roared.
To them, Even's movement was perhaps a signal of attack, or maybe they just wanted to break the food's stillness. Before Even could understand anything, an Orc swung its massive mace backward and slammed it into Even's head.
CRACK!!
It felt like a thousand hammers hitting his skull. Millions of stars danced before Even's eyes. His hundred-kilogram body couldn't maintain its balance and slammed loudly onto the sand. Just before losing consciousness, he saw the Orcs grabbing him by the legs and dragging him away—exactly how a beast is dragged from a slaughterhouse.
Whether his laptop remained on the sand or was captured in their ugly hands, Even could no longer see. A bottomless pit of darkness swallowed him whole.