The moment Nyssa's feet left the ground, there was a bit of spin in her mind.
The ground had disappeared. She was floating. One second, there was rock beneath her feet, and the next, there was nothing at all.
Her stomach twisted so bad it felt as though her soul had been left behind on the cliff. She had hoped, truly hoped that Oren wouldn't do this. But, he did.
And though she understood why, it still hurt.
She didn't want to leave him. But it was already too late. Oren's hands were the last thing she felt. His hand shoved at her shoulders swiftly. And then, she felt a sudden rush of air, endless air.
Nyssa did not even scream at first. The world tilted too fast and the sky spinned where earth should be. Her arms flailed, grasping for something that no longer was reachable. All her fingers could close on, was emptiness.
'He pushed me…Oren pushed me,' her mind kept ringing.
A thousand things burst across her mind at once, like shattered glass catching light. Was she dying? Why did she feel so…light?
Flashes of memories danced in her mind.
Oren's smile in the dungeon when he told her not to give up, the warmth of his hands around hers in the dark. Oh, that warmth. She loved it.
She also remembered her mother. She brushed her hair when she was small, telling her stories of kingdoms, monarchs, and people that held power of gods.
She could even smell the lush scent of the palace gardens in spring.
"Spring is pretty, Sister!" She heard her brother's voice.
Gav! She gasped.
The sudden sound of her people laughing during festivals, echoed in her mind repeatedly. Then, the smell of smoke when Trontine burned.
She flailed her arms continuously. But, she couldn't breathe. Panic began to rise. Her body was dropping deeper each second.
The air tore past her face, dragging her hair upward. Her gown whipped around her legs like a living thing trying to hold her back.
She didn't even know if she was screaming. Everything felt silent and twisted up.
Suddenly , she twisted midair, her heart hammering so wildly she thought it might explode before she ever reach the bottom.
In less than a second, the river rushed up to meet her. Death, this was death. The thought was strangely calm, drifting through her swirling panic. She was going to die before she even touched the water.
Her hands flew out in front of her, instinctively. Her mouth opened and this time a loud scream ripped free from her body.
"Ahhh—"
But was snatched away instantly by the wind.
Oren's voice played in her memory again, "You are going to survive, Princess."
She wanted to believe him. But she also wanted to be angry at him. She wanted to go back and drag him with her. To tell him he was silly. To tell him, "You think you can just push me away?" To tell him, that she didn't want to leave him.
And then, there was impact. Her body finally met the water. It hit her like stone. A sharp pain exploded through her body as if she had shattered into pieces. Her body trembled. The cold was immediate and vicious, stealing the air from her lungs in a single brutal blow.
Nyssa plunged deeper and deeper and deeper and she thought she was approaching her death. Definitely she was. I mean, what other explanation could it be?
The world became green and white chaos. She couldn't comprehend what was happening but she felt bubbles. Or was she seeing them? Bubbles roared past her face and her ears were filled with a deep, crushing sound like the river was growling all around me.
'Up. Which way is up?' She thought. She needed to escape. She couldn't just die like this.
Her eyes immediately flew open but all she see was churning light and shadow. Her hair floated around her face like dark sea weeds. Her gown dragged at her, so heavy and pulling her deeper into the water body.
She tried moving and so she kicked. But it had little to no effect. It felt as though she hadn't even moved an inch.
Her feet felt like heavy stones. Her arms moved sluggishly, as though the water had turned to thick syrup.
Panic climbed up her body again. And then her body jerked. Air, she needed air.
She tried to breathe but only managed to swallow water. It flooded into her mouth and down her throat. It was water, but it burned.
She couldn't breathe. Oxygen was depleting. Was she going to die?
No, no, no, no.
She thrashed harder, but the current had her. It spinned her sideways, then upside down. Her shoulder slammed into something hard. It was a rock. Nyssa felt like weeping. Pain flared and vanished in the larger terror.
She was sinking and dying.
The light above grew dimmer and farther away. Her chest burned, screaming for breaths she could not give it. Was it over?
Her mother used to say she was born during a rainstorm. That the river spirits would always watch over her. She was healed by the moon, so the moon would protect her too.
She wanted to believe in river spirits and the moon right now.
Another memory surfaced in her mind again. It was Oren's light expression when he said she was stubborn.
She was. She did agree, and because of that stubbornness, she refused to die like this.
She forced her legs to kick again, harder this time. But her muscles protested, weak from days of hunger and fear, but she didn't dare stop. She pushed her arms downward, the way she was taught as a child in the palace, long before any war and bloodshed.
The current fought Nyssa, shoving her sideways, but she twisted with it this time, instead of against it.
Bubbles streamed past her face, and she she shook her head repeatedly.
"Follow the bubbles."
Nyssa's eyes snapped open again.
"Follow the bubbles," a voice whispered in her ears. "They always rise."
Nyssa squinted through the blur, searching for the source of this voice. Was it a ghost?
Or was it finally the river spirits?!
Whatever it was, she gave thanks to it.
Her eyes focused above, and she could see faint silver trails racing upward. The bubbles. She angled her body toward them and then kicked with everything she had left.
Her lungs felt like they were being crushed in a giant fist. Dark spots suddenly crept into her vision and her movements slowed no matter how hard she commanded them not to.
Please, not yet. She didn't want to die. Her hands then broke into lighter water.
It was the surface. She pushed again in a weak, desperate motion. And then her face burst into air. Air!
She gasped, but the breath turned into a violent cough as the river water poured from her mouth. A wave crashed over her head, dragging her under again for a terrifying second before she fought back up.
The river was wild. It did not care that she was a princess, let alone, a human. It did not care that she was grieving, hunted and alone.
It tried to roll her over, to pull her down again. She flailed, managing only to keep her face above the water between waves.
"Oren!" She tired to shout, but it only came out broken, swallowed by the roar of the angry waves.
But of what use was screaming? Oren was not here. He was still on that cliff, and he couldn't come and save her.
He was still there at the centre of arrows and blood. She remembered his smile before he pushed her.
He just wanted to save her. He just wanted to protect her, at his own expense.
A painful sob ripped from her chest, torn away instantly by the wind and waves.
She couldn't go back, she would be killed. But, she didn't even know where else to go.
Even if she tried, the river would never let her. It was wicked and greedy.
Everything hurt.
Her arm burnt where the arrow grazed her earlier and her body throbbed. She couldn't even feel her legs or any part of her lower body. But she was alive. She didn't die, like she thought she would.
At least, that was something. There was still hope in the cruel world she found herself in.
She rolled onto her back for a moment, remembering another lesson.
"Let the water carry you when you cannot fight it."
Her ears dipped below the surface, muting the world to a dull roar. The sky above spinned again.
Her cheeks were wet and she wasn't sure it was purely the river's water.
Her tears mixed with river spray. Was it silly she was crying? Everytime she did. She was just so weak and clueless.
She did not know where she was going. She did not know how far the river ran.
She did not even know if Oren was—
Stupid. She squeezed her eyes shut.
He did not push her to die. In fact, he did it so she could live.
"You are the only hope they have."
Trontine needed her. Her people, her future, her life, she needed to save them.
A strange calm began to grow beneath the fear. The river may carry her, but she will choose what happens when it lets her go.
She turned onto her stomach and began to swim with the current instead of against it, angling toward the riverbank whenever she could. Each stroke felt like lifting a mountain, but she kept moving.
You can do it, Nyssa. Yes, you can do it! Nothing can and nothing will stop you.
But then, the current suddenly grabbed her and hurled her downstream. Nyssa slammed onto something solid again, a half-submerged rock. A painful gasp escaped her lips in terror. Her body swayed and weakened.
No…
Was she…was she losing consciousness? Well, it was to be expected. Her body was turning weaker in each passing second.
Shit. Each second, her head banged more and then she was submerged again.
She tried, really hard. But it just wasn't enough.
"Oren…I…I don't think I can…"
Those were her last words before she blacked out.