"Stay still, Jao Peem. If you move even a fraction, it'll strike, and you're a dead man," I threatened.
Jao Peem stiffened. I couldn't help laughing at my own student. Idiot. I'd already milked its venom while they were eating.
"Don't bullshit me. That snake's already been milked and its fangs pulled," Jao Pat added, trying to act tough.
At least they weren't trying to get me killed.
"Oh? Really? Huh… then how would you know that, sweetheart? This couldn't possibly be the same snake from the library, could it? Because that one—I snapped its neck and hung it on the wall over there."
Looks like my words did the trick. Jao Peem's face went from pale to ghostly.
"That's not true. You're lying," Jao Pat protested. "Uncle Kaew, go check, please."
Uncle Kaew stepped out for a moment, then came back to report that there really was a cobra draped over the wall outside. I hadn't meant to kill it—I must've slammed it against the wall a bit too hard.
"So you're trying to kill us and take all our dad's inheritance, right? That's so cruel!"
"Whoa, whoa. That's enough, you little brat. Me? After your dad's money?" I shot back. "My family isn't poor, alright? My salary's more than enough. If it weren't necessary, I wouldn't have married into this family. It was a forced deal—got it?"
Truth is, it's never really enough—the word salary fits the reality a little too well. I'm the type who lives on instant noodles until payday. And I've always had one personal rule: if I can earn it, I will never ask my parents for a single baht.
"So why did you put that cobra in our room?"
"Me? Are you crazy? Why would I ever do something like that? By the way, that's not a cobra—it's a King Cobra, sweetheart," I said with a shrug. As for how I got it there—well, let's just call it a special talent. Relax. I wouldn't actually let it bite them.
"Knock it off already! Someone—anyone—just get this snake out of my room!" Jao Peem snapped.
I took pity on him and moved in slowly. With a soft clicking sound, the snake lowered its head. I stroked it once and secured it firmly.
"Bleh."
I shoved the snake right toward Jao Peem's face. He wiped sweat off his brow, pale as a sheet. Jao Pat retreated a full five meters. Uncle Kaew held the burlap sack open. The moment the snake went in, he tied it shut and bolted.
"What's all this noise?" their dad poked his head in—like a classic cop arriving after the crime is over.
I shrugged and walked back to my room, pressing my ear to the wall. Muffled whining. I didn't have to hear the words to know those two were tattling.
Whatever. Who cares.
I changed into my pajamas and opened a book to prep for class. Once I remembered where I'd left off, I fired up my laptop. The printer's grinding whirr was a reminder that tomorrow was Monday—the kind of Monday that drags you through four straight hours of teaching. Anyone who thinks being a teacher is easy should try standing at the front of a classroom, talking nonstop for a full hour. Then they'd understand.