As the time passed,
I began to realize, I will be like this,
Years passed like a wind and I am still in this room,
My entire family died in accident,
There is no one,
Now,
I live alone in my village in my fathers old house,
I have enough money from the insurance and the money I inheirted from my father and mother bank account,
I wake up goon, doom scroll and live on,
But I didnt wanted to die virgin but I knew I am worthless,
I cant feed a family,
So, I never went on any date,
I feel sense of emptiness,
I really want to become a singer,
But I just cant leave this room,
Only time I leave this room is when I need to eat or give my clothes in laundary,
I dont hate myself,
But I dont know why my friends never talk to me nowdays,
Ahhh
Time has passed so fast,
I am now 30 yrs old,
My friends has many childrens
But I am all alone,
Today,
A old man from village came to me asked if I will marry his daughter,
I knew why he came to me,
His daughter was disabled and couldnt use her legs,
And he wasnt rich enough to provide enough dowry to entice other men to marry but he knew,
I was his only chance,
I said "ok"
I didnt wanted to die virgin that is all I thought when I accepted his request,
I went on a date,
The girl looked frail and thin,
Wearing a red rimmed glasses,
More of she was afraid of rejection,
I guess,
She was not talking much and just agreed with whatever I said,
She was really timid,
And I also knew I will never get to marry again if I reject her so I agreed,
...
Today I was going to lose my virginity,
Sex felt awesome,
It was something beyond gooning,
...
Today my first child was born,
After having a life-partner I dont feel alone anymore,
I am quite happy,
And also genuinely love her,
I also opened a small shop with the money I had got from my parent's insurance and my wife father also helped me open it up,
I dont earn good profits but it is enough,
...
My child has started walking today,
I felt very happy,
I named in Himal as in great like Mountains,
All I thought was I dont want him to end up like me,
...
My son has grown up and he hates to mention about his mother in school and asks me to goto PTA with him,
I think he feels ashamed of his mother,
Ahh,
He has starting to become like me,
Getting wind with the friends,
Well,
Whatever,
...
My son is now college student,
He wants to goto that place,
Named Ritupur to further study,
And I knew I cant disagree,
Because that is the tide of time,
...
My son didnt ended as me and became an engineer,
He earns good money,
He hates coming to village,
...
My son got married in Ritupur and he lives in rented apartment,
I dont send him money anymore,
...
I have a grandson now,
I am very happy,
I returend to Ritupur after years just to see him,
Ahh looking at my grandson makes me more happy then seeing the birth of my son,
After staying in Ritupur for two weeks,
I and my wife leave for the village,
...
Time has passed my grandson is now a teenager he came to village to visit us,
Ahh
He hates lifestyle of village here,
Well I dont care,
...
Many years has passed,
My grandson is now a college student,
I was sitting in my house garden in a moving chair,
My wife was beside me,
She has grown old like me,
Her face are filled with wrinkles just like me,
I asked her "Are you happy of how life turned out?"
She told me she was happy,
She told me she was rejected god knows how many times,
She told she was afraid,
That I might hit her,
But I never hit her,
Because how could life-less man do that?
I was dead long ago,
I died on that apartment on Ritupur,
Ahhh
So much time has passed,
I think about if I had worked hard alone in that apartment,
My life would have been so different,
I might have become a great singer,
My family might have been able to see me in big screen,
My life would have been wonderful,
Now not even my soul respects me,
I am not living,
I am just surviving,
My life was a complete failure,
I REGRET IT!!!
That is the last word Grishma uttered and died on that chair beside his wife,
.......
A/N: This chapter is for all those who only think and never take action,
There is a famous poem in my native language
" A Swan flies with two wings, One of action and another of knowledge "
It is a poem meaning it will have different,
Interpretation,
What I interpreted was no matter what path you take you must take action,
Because in this world of internet knowledge is the thing you will never lack,
But the wing of action is difficult to grow,
If you are in state even close to Grishma,
No you should not be like him,
What is he?
You think his life was good?
No, it was not this chapter was but the summary of life,
Because grishma was a failure,
As he says not even his soul respects him,
What can be worse then that?