Saiki Kusuo sat at his desk, thinking about how long it had been since he arrived here.
(It's already the end of April. Sobu High is about to welcome Golden Week, and right along with it, the monthly exams. A lot of people have started busily reviewing ahead of time. Some are cramming at the last minute, and some have just completely given up. What? You're asking what kind of person I am? Obviously the latter… as if. For exams like this, it's really a piece of cake for me, but it depends on the situation. Some people don't care about grades at all.)
Yoshii Akihisa walked along casually, speaking forward, "Hey hey~ Saiki, where are you planning to go play during this Golden Week?"
[At home reviewing.]
"Look at all the classmates in our class. Golden Week is almost here, and they're still seriously studying over there. I really don't get it."
[Because the monthly exams are coming up.]
"I've already decided where I'm going to play this weekend. How about it? Wanna come to my house and play some video games together…?"
(Yare yare, looks like this guy has no idea what's going on at all.)
Tsuchiya Kouta: "Don't joke around. Now isn't the time for Akihisa to be doing that kind of thing."
(It seems this secretly perverted creep can still read the situation after all.)
"Right now the priority is that the lock on the girls' changing room at school broke due to force majeure. We have to prevent anyone from peeping and get there first…"
(Okay, looks like I overthought it! It's my fault for trying to judge a pervert's mind with normal human thinking.)
Sakamoto Yuuji also walked over and surrounded Saiki along with the others.
"Hey hey hey! You guys are really enough. Do you think Saiki is like you? And exams are coming up, yet you're still not reviewing properly. Do you think everyone around you is just playing around?"
(Bear Two actually said something normal for once. Just go home and study properly already! You guys.)
Yoshii Akihisa suddenly realized: "So that's it. No wonder the atmosphere around everyone is so tense. It's because of the exams? Is it really necessary?"
Yoshii Akihisa's year rank: 271st.
(You're just way too carefree.)
Tsuchiya Kouta: "Exactly. How are we supposed to take the exam like this? If things stay this way, the girls' side might get tense, and it'll be really hard to peep…"
Tsuchiya Kouta's year rank: 206th.
(Is that the only thing in your head?)
Sakamoto Yuuji shook his head: "I see you two have zero sense of urgency. You're doomed for this exam. Even if Saiki is number one in the year, he still reviews, you know."
(Well! I guess that's true?)
Yoshii Akihisa was shocked: "What? Saiki's grades are actually that good? Damn it! I thought we were the same kind of people, best buddies even. I never expected you to secretly grow like this behind my back, Saiki."
(In your mind, what kind of person did you originally think I was?)
Sakamoto Yuuji glanced over: "So you didn't even know that, Akihisa? What an idiot. Even this secretly perverted creep knows."
Tsuchiya Kouta confidently raised his head: "Of course. As Saiki's comrade and good friend, it's only natural to know these basic things."
(I don't recall ever becoming your comrade and good friend.)
"And to become Saiki's friend, I even secretly followed behind him to investigate his hobbies, picked up trash he threw away… almost got mistaken for a stalker by others."
(Don't pick up trash like that.)
Yoshii Akihisa: "That's exactly what a stalker is."
Sakamoto Yuuji: "Seriously, looking at you two like this, I'm really worried about your futures."
"What's that supposed to mean! You've been going on and on about it, Bear Two. Aren't your grades good too?"
Sakamoto Yuuji rubbed his nose. "They're alright, I guess."
Sakamoto Yuuji's year rank: 167th.
"Damn it, even you betrayed me, Bear Two." Yoshii Akihisa dropped to his knees, seemingly unable to accept the news.
"Looks like I can't go play with you anymore, Saiki. I have to study hard and protect my pride as a man. We'll have to do it next time."
(I never said I was going to play with you.)
Sakamoto Yuuji didn't think much of it: "Well, anyway, if you start studying properly now, it's not too late. Try to aim for around 280th place next time."
Akihisa: Why does my rank drop even when I study hard?
(In short, stop standing around me and chatting.)
Tsuchiya Kouta patted Yoshii Akihisa on the shoulder and whispered like a devil: "In that case, your grades are already bad enough. It's too late to start now anyway. Since Saiki can't go to the girls' changing room with me anymore, how about you come with me instead, Akihisa?"
Yoshii Akihisa swallowed hard: "Is that okay?"
"Of course it is."
Akihisa clenched his fist. "Then let's go peep at the girls' changing room, you secretly perverted creep."
(And this is your pride as a man?)
"Hey! What are you guys talking about?"
Coming up from behind was one person, approaching with a high ponytail—a new beautiful first-year girl, though a bit lacking up front. Next to her was a pink-haired beauty with a strikingly voluptuous figure in sharp contrast.
It was exactly Shimada Minami and Himeji Mizuki.
(Yare yare, more and more people are showing up.)
"I just made plans with Akihisa to go to the girls' changing room later… mmph."
"Hey—" Before Tsuchiya Kouta could finish, Akihisa covered his mouth.
Yoshii Akihisa laughed awkwardly: "Haha, nothing. We weren't just talking about why Saiki's grades are so good, or how Yuuji and the secretly perverted creep are going to peep at the girls' changing room together."
"Hey! You bastard, Akihisa…" Sakamoto Yuuji frowned in retort, then suddenly felt a creepy aura behind him and broke out in a huge cold sweat.
The one who suddenly appeared behind him was Kirishima Shouko from Class 1-A. She expressionlessly grabbed Bear Two's shoulder: "What's this about? If you want to look, Bear Two, you can only look at mine."
The latter immediately protested: "Ah, what are you talking about? Who wants to look at yours?"
But the moment he turned his head, his eyeballs met two fingers head-on. "Aaaah!!!"
Kirishima Shouko: "You can only, and must only, look at me."
"Damn you, Akihisa." Bear Two dropped to his knees, only to feel someone poke his shoulder. It was Saiki handing him a cassette tape.
"Wait a second, Akihisa. Listen to this first."
Yoshii Akihisa saw the tape being handed over and had a bad feeling something terrible was about to happen. He tried to step forward to stop it but was held back by the two of them: "Wait."
It was Saiki and the secretly perverted creep.
"Seriously, Akihisa, why are you so nervous?"
[Yare yare, this seems pretty entertaining. Let's listen to the tape.]
Then Bear Two pressed play on the cassette. Inside, the conversation between Tsuchiya Kouta and Yoshii Akihisa repeated over and over.
"Then how about you come with me instead, Akihisa."
"Is that okay?"
"Of course it is."
"Then let's go peep at the girls' changing room, you secretly perverted creep."
"Then how about you come with me instead, Akihisa."
"Is that okay?"
"Of course it is."
"Then let's go peep at the girls' changing room, you secretly perverted creep."
...