Hey guys!
It's probably obvious, but this chaos gacha thing isn't really congruent with any story that's planned out. This fanfic is built on themes and such, and I don't even know half of James' powers. If you put a gun to my head and asked me how many ability slots he had, you might as well just splatter my shit across a wall. I'm gonna go with 4, but I could easily be wrong.
"OH, but why don't you just go back and update your rolls list so you can find out that way?"
Nigga, I'm lazy.
Also, uhhh, you know how I said the chapters are gonna be once a week because they're longer now? I procrastinated. I wanted to make this chapter about 5 or 6k words, but I got about 1.5k in and realized I was writing straight bullshit and I hated it, so I restarted the whole thing from scratch.
This jumphain fic is gonna genuinely save my word-count. Speaking of the fic, remember what I'm saying right now, I got something to ask at the ending author's note.
Without anymore talking, enjoy the show!
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Are we deadass?
Yesterday me and Charlie enjoyed our stay in Heaven, generally bullshitting and messing around in the theme park. I swore I was gonna die at some point, but I eventually got a hold of myself and locked in. Anyway, we spent the whole day doing that, but then genuinely forgot that we had court tomorrow. I was more worried than a bitch, but Charlie reassured me that she all had it under control…
"Charlie, why do you have drawings on index-cards? You do realize that this is probably your one and only shot at getting Heaven to listen, and you wrote all your points on INDEX-CARDS!?!? IN CRAYON AS WELL!?!?!?!?!?" I asked very calmly, lifting Charlie up and shaking her up and down. "Dear God, we're cooked."
"J-J-J-James relax." She said, still jittering from me shaking her. "Listen, right before we left I put some money in the kitchen and told Daki, Angel Dust and Niffty to go out and party today."
"...What?"
"Just what I said, I'm gonna use their experiences in court to show just how much they've changed and why Heaven should—"
Before Charlie could continue, I used crystal caesar to make myself her height before putting a hand on her shoulder. "Charlie…Angel Dust is a very promiscuous, very lustful person. Niffty is an amazing girlfriend, but she's also crazy as hell and Daki is literally incapable of eating normal food and eats people to survive."
"...Oh."
God save us.
I let out the longest sigh I think I ever have in my life, removing my crystal caesar height and running a hand through my hair. I had gelled it for this occasion and was even given a snazzy ass purple suit all for Charlie to somehow sell more than the other Cavaliers in 2018. "Y'know what? It's fine, we can still manage to salvage this. What else do you have?"
"Well, I–"
"May the defense please come to the stand?"
"...Shit."
I thought we would have more time! I mean, we were given this whole ass bed-room for some reason and it's only been like 20 minutes since we were dragged here out of bed, for God's sake! Regardless of my feelings, I slicked my hair back again, readjusting my suit cuffs near my hands and walked out alongside Charlie out the same door we came in.
At this point, I wasn't even surprised when the door led to somewhere completely different. In just an instant we were somehow in the air right in front in a pure white courtroom. In the stand were angels of all shapes and sizes, mostly ugly shapes and sizes if I had to be frank though. Just across from us was Adam and his exorcist friend, the first seeming to be bored. And finally, at the top, barely within a normal person's vision was Sera and Emily, seeming to be the judges here.
"This court is now in session for the trial of the Hazbin Hotel and if Heaven should ally itself with it. May the defense begin their opening statement?" Sera asked.
"Of course!" Charlie said enthusiastically, reaching in her pockets and pulling out one of her index-cards, clearing her throat. "Merriam-Webster's dictionary states that forgiveness is–"
"Uuuuuggggghhhhhh, no fuckin' dictionary readings, that shit's dumb." Adam groaned out. No way that–
"Sustained, no dictionary readings please."
WHAT!?
"A-alright." Charlie agreed, going through all of her index cards…
"Charlie." I whispered to her. "You only have dictionary readings as your opening statements!?"
"I didn't think they would just ban them outright!"
I pinch the bridge of my nose, taking up the stand myself. "Your honor, ms. Sera, the residents of the court today, Charlie and I have come up at your mercy to try and get your help with her hotel. The Hazbin Hotel is made for sinners to attempt and repent for their wicked ways and come up here to Heaven, accepting eternal paradise over their damnation through redemption."
I feel like I did good, but I didn't get any significant reaction out of anybody. "Now may the prosecution give their opening statement?" Sera asked.
"Yeah, I got a statement: that statement was shit and stupid as hell. The fucks are already in hell, kinda defeats the purpose of HELL if you can just get outta dodge by going to some sissy soy-boy ass hotel." Adam said, just being disrespectful as shit.
Ignoring Adam's very pointed language, Sera continued. "May the defense give us any evidence or witnesses or any general reasons why the court should listen to them?"
"We do have a reason in fact!" Charlie interjected, seeming to have regained her confidence. "My friends, Angel Dust, Niffty and Daki are the residents of my hotel and are outside doing their thing right now. If we could observe them, then everyone in the court could see that they've not improved their behavior compared to other people in hell, but are also generally just good people."
"Really?" Adam asked, smugness almost oozing out of his mask. "So if I were to scry them right now, then they wouldn't be doing ANYTHING bad?"
"W-well, I didn't say all that, but–" Charlie tried to argue, but Adam seemed intent on backing her into a corner here.
"No, no, no, you're the one who said that they're just "good people" so let's see if they can back that shit up." He said, pointing his finger at the center of the room and shooting a golden beam. Instead of impacting anything, it instead became a golden orb that seemed to fizzle with static for a moment before projecting a video. "Here, this is supposed to be footage from only 2 hours ago."
****
"Holy shit, Niff', how the hell do you have access to a Gluttony bar?" Angel Dust asked, looking at the building in front of him. At first glance, it didn't seem like anything special, but looking at the hints of yellow that seemed to almost sway under a glance, it was clear that this bar wasn't normal at all.
"I got 'em' from beating this guy in poker. I think his name was Nate Higgers or something, but I managed to cheat and got them for free." She replied, leading the way into the bar and–
****
"Cut, cut, cut!" Adam yelled, pausing the footage. "If the court could use their eyes, they could see that these two chuckle-fucks are actively indulging in gluttony and going the bar to drink their sorry ass lives away." He said, manifesting a pair of glasses onto his mask along with a comically long meter-stick to point.
This guy was seriously working my last nerve. "Hey, you fat fuck!" I yelled, managing to get a gasp out of the entire courtroom. "They barely got out two sentences before your impatient ass stopped them, let them speak!"
"Oh wooooow, why so aggressive? I dunno, you sound pretty wrathful to me." He said, putting his hands up innocently and turning to Sera. "Can you put that on the record? How wrathful this guy is being for no reason right now?"
This motherfucker was messing with me! I almost went to say something else, but Charlie grabbed my arm, shaking her head slowly at me as I backed down. "Listen," she said, "People commit sins all the time but get into Heaven, nobody's perfect after all. If that's so, then can you tell us the specific parameters for getting into Heaven?"
"...Wut?" Adam asked, ever so eloquently.
"I mean, if we knew what got people into Heaven, then we could show how they're exhibiting all of those traits. It's not like none of you know how people even get into Heaven, right?" Charlie said, asking rhetorically. However, when the silence of everybody began to permeate uncomfortably she began to realize the horrifying truth…These people really were that incompetent. "Y-you're telling me that–"
"--Nobody knows how to get here?" Charlie began, but I finished, looking around at everybody. "You're all fucking idiots! Hitler could be up here and you wouldn't know because none of you know how to get up here!" I yelled, ignoring all of the stares I was getting. "How the fuck are you gonna try go get on Charlie for her hotel, when none of you bastards even know what makes you different from people in hell?"
"Well, jackass." Adam started. "What's different is that everyone here earned their fucking place here, it's not our fault you got sent to the pit and you're salty about it."
"Oh, shut the fuck up!" I yell at him. "I don't wanna hear shit you gotta say, you fat-ass. That dad-bod ass gut shows me that you're gluttonous enough to eat whatever you want and slothful enough to not even try to work it off." I point at him. "Angel Dust, Daki and Niffty are a million times better than you, you lite bitch."
"Order, order in the court!" Sera tried to yell, but Adam didn't listen.
"Oh really?" He said, looking at me somehow smugger than before. "Anthony Dussate is better than me? A member of a mob-family in the 1920's that peddled drugs and actively extorted innocent people is better than me? Someone who smothered his father in his sleep with a pillow to take all of his money to fuel his drug addiction is better than me?"
My teeth grit against each other.
"Nanako Masuda is better than me? The same bitch that killed her husband and left her kid alone because she couldn't grow a pair ? She's better than me?"
"They're better than you any day of the week, ya fuckin' dickhead! Now shut the fuck up before I slap the shit outta you!"
"You're gonna do what to me?" He asks, floating out of his seat and over to me. "You're gonna do w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what to lil' old me?" He mocked, fluttering his eyelashes over at me and Charlie. I damn near almost knocked the fat rolls off of his body before light enveloped us.
"ORDER!" Sera yelled as I covered my eyes to not go blind. When the light finally calmed down, Charlie and I were off of the stand and instead standing on the ground. "There's a portal behind you two. Since this has been a disaster, this court will reconvene within two months. Is that acceptable?"
"Yes!" Charlie yelled quickly to shut me up. "That is perfectly acceptable! We are so sorry, we'll have much better reasoning next time, okay bbbyyyeeee." She said quickly, dragging me through the portal. However, right after we went through, the portal didn't close.
"Hey, one more thing before you two go." Adam said as I looked behind me and–
***THIRD PERSON POV***
A ray of golden light pierced through James' head easily.
The room went silent in an instant, everything seemed to stop in time, even Charlie who was right next to James, seeing his body suddenly go limp and lean on her seemed to be in shock right before the portal closed in their faces.
The most vital part of the brain is the stem, allowing for breathing and heartbeat control; however even if Adam didn't hit that part specifically, a blow to the brain is already fatal, especially with holy light that Charlie is unable to heal. Maybe if James used B2A to get a healing ability, he could survive, but that's impossible.
B2A isn't autonomous, needing a consciousness to activate…But if there was a separate consciousness within James' soul alongside B2A, one that refused to let him go, refused to let him truly die, maybe that consciousness could activate B2A by itself and with the arrow that's still in his body, maybe B2A could achieve a new level of power.
…But that's just impossible…
Rolling…Rolling…
Isn't it?
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THE END
Yeah, I think this chapter is pretty mid. I feel like I mostly skipped past everything because I don't really like the courtroom scene in the main show, but also because I'm more than a little hype about what's gonna happen next.
Adam's my favorite character and while I do plan on him having some character later on, I want him to have some aura first, one-shotting James just to show the gap between them.
I wonder what y'all think B2A requiem will be…
And that author's note thing I was talking about was the first world for the jumpchain thing. I got a couple of options I wanna do in a poll style, same way as before. QQ people get their own poll and Webnovel people gotta comment on what they want.
Deltarune
Undertale
Moana (Disney)
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Percy Jackson
Danganronpa
Hunter x Hunter
Blue Lock
Shrek
Very varied, I know.
One more thing, tell me if this is formatted weird for y'all, the google doc I'm in right now has the spacing look a little weird.
Ok bbbyyyyeeeee!