I can't use mana...
I just looked up at the sky with such irony.
My calm smile, as my arm detached itself from my torso... Ah, what irony.
My arm...
I didn't even care about the blood flowing or the pain... It would just heal in a few minutes. Maybe.
Ah, how beautiful the sky was...
.
.
.
An hour later, and I was still looking at how beautiful the sky was...
My right side was completely healed.
Sigh... I was still speechless. I don't know; I just don't know what to think now.
Yeah... Sigh.
I really try. I try to be positive, but I can't.
Whom do I blame for this? That bitch or my greed? My stupidity?
Or myself?
I don't know... That's right, be an impulsive idiot....
Shit, I still had the chance to use this nut I have for a brain and think a little about why I can't use my own mana.
But no, I decided to get irritated like a spoiled bitch...
The more I try, the more I screw myself over.
Progress? Growing up? Getting stronger?
In this state? Nothing more than a disabled bastard now?
It's okay to lose an eye and a few fingers, but my arm? My arm?
What a bad joke...
.
.
.
It had been a few hours since I simply started walking aimlessly, carrying my arm with the other...
I complained and complained about being optimistic... But here I go, being optimistic once again. Maybe I could still put it back in place somehow, even though half of it was just bone...
Hah, it was a simple matter of logic there. How would I even want to or be able to use an airplane engine in a VW Beetle?
That damn conductivity, hahaha...
I want to cry, I really do, but I can only laugh.
Why did I even come to work at this shitty place? Yes, to collect debts...
Other people's debts. Isn't that funny?
Yes, they're my parents... But what right do they have to ask me that?
I miss the old man... How I wish I could see you again, Grandpa.
Man...
The way I'm talking, it sounds like that old man died. He must be banging some young chick while I'm here.
You dirty old man...
.
.
.
Two more days passed as I continued walking without rest. Day or night, I didn't stop...
I just walked on autopilot... I was tired...
Thirst...
Hunger...
Loneliness...
Melancholy...
Resentment...
There was so much that I simply couldn't list it all.
I don't even feel pain like a normal person would, I feel more... Heh.
I have no idea when I might just collapse and never wake up again... I no longer feel my body screaming whether it's tired or not, whether it's failing or not...
Let's just keep going...
.
.
.
A few more days passed. I don't know how many, but it doesn't matter.
All I know is that I ended up passing out a couple of days ago and lost count. I managed to wake up, maybe out of sheer spite.
It wasn't now that I was going to give up.
Not to mention that this bitch's laughter was good fuel...
Laugh. Laugh all you want. Make me resent you more. Make me spiteful...
Make me want to reverse our roles. I'm a persistent guy anyway.
.
.
.
Ah, I don't know anything anymore...
All I know is that my eye started to burn at some point, when a faint, fleeting red line appeared and I just started to follow it...
My desperation increased as I lost track of the red line, so I ran like never before...
Or at least I think I was running. I don't know.
I could very well have been crawling or walking slowly. I couldn't tell anymore...
As I pursued the trail, it grew larger and more vivid...
It was someone's mana. People...
Finally, people.
Being sensitive to mana had its uses, after all, even though my only eye was completely red... I think? I don't know, but it was probably because of the tiny salty drops entering my mouth.
I was probably burning too...
Ah, I hope they don't mistake me for some kind of monster.
I wouldn't blame them, but it would be a very stupid death...
Can I still speak? Probably not... My throat was dry.
What do I do? What do I do?
People. After so long, people. I don't even know what to do...
How do humans greet each other anyway?
My joy only increased as I got closer. More and more trails of different colors formed, while the initial red became denser...
My whole body was itching... Or actually burning.
I don't know. Was I smiling at least?
So little was left...
"What strange business is this?"
A voice. A curious voice? Yes, a curious voice suddenly sounded beside me. I didn't know when or where exactly, but I turned around, and when I turned...
Did I get kicked? I can't say. My eyes rolled back as I hit something with my back, slowly losing consciousness...
"What are you doing, Theo?!"
"What? Can't you see this thing on fire?"
"... You know you didn't mean that. I'm asking why you're disobeying my orders."
"Tsk... Fine. Fine. Sorry, I'll just finish this thing then."
"Don't play dumb, you psychopath. Is that... Is that still human?... Anyway, don't kill him."
I could only hear their voices as I blacked out. Relieved.