After a million years of climbing, we finally reached the third floor. I am exhausted, I can feel my lungs melting. But for the sake of putting up with Sohee (who is completely fine by the way), expectation of her Sunbae, I keep my act cool.
"Are you okay, Sunbae? You look pale."
All of that cool acting stands no chance against my human biology. "Ehem, well, this is normal for someone like me after climbing a stair for a million years."
"Million years?" She chuckles, "Sunbae, it's only been around eight minutes."
Really? I swear it was a million years. But then again, I'm not sure how time works anymore.
We proceed down the corridor… passing each silent door.
21.
23.
26.
Boring.
I look at the girl in front of me, biting her lips, eyes in front, focused. Scared.
It isn't just me. We both know we could be walking into a mistake.
"You like coffee, Sohee?" I ask, matching my pace with hers.
"Haven't thought about that," Sohee touches her chin, looking up, "I just drink coffee because it's a normal thing to do. But if I have an answer, I think I like them."
She turns to me, "Sunbae, are you nervous? This is the first time you ever… visited a girl's place, right?"
"No, I was just curious."
And also it's not. I have been in many girls' domains before. Just not in this world. What did I do there? I'll leave that up to your mind.
"Huh? How about Sunbae? Do you like coffee?"
I haven't had any ever since I came here. What does it taste like again? Whatever. What matters is that Sohee likes it, so should I say it, too. "Yeah."
"Really? Just never seen you drink one before."
That explains it. Back at my place, there isn't any caffeine. I just thought we ran out of it. Maybe there's something about coffee and this guy that I don't know about.
"I drink it in secret," I answer Sohee. "It is a sacred activity; it should've been done discreetly."
"But a lot of people drink it in public."
"Then a lot of people have no idea what they're doing."
"Pft—"
That made Sohee laugh a little.
"Seriously, Sunbae. I never thought you're this… silly, ha ha. Usually you're just so…"
She trails off and shakes her head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't speak badly of my sunbaes. Especially when he's just in front of me."
A smirk. She's just teasing me now. Sohee has been a very helpful angel ever since I met her. I forgot that she is still just a high schooler.
"Sohee."
"Hmn?"
"You look cute today."
"Eep!"
And now she blushes. "Tha, that's not fair, Sunbae."
I think I won.
She looks less nervous now.
31.
The door 31.
A friend who protects people from outside: a door. A blind friend who only opens and closes. A better friend than some human being.
I'm glad this one doesn't talk.
A frail girl with emerald eyes is behind them.
"Sunbae, I have texted Nelly about you coming."
Good, we don't want to give her a heart attack.
"What did she say?"
"She hasn't seen it. I can't get through to her either; it looks like her phone's out. That's why I'm hesitant now. Should we just knock?"
She stares, and I let her eyes rest on my smile.
A minute passed… we returned to the door. Sohee might probably have thousands of worries in her head right now, but I only have one. An exciting one. If this blind friend opened itself. I might probably get to see Nelly in something. It is her home anyway. And she doesn't know I'm coming. What type of clothes could she be wearing? A pajama? Maybe it's a little too late for that. A t-shirt with a bear on it. Huh, seems pretty normal. Not that exciting though. A lingerie? That's stupid, of course not. Naked. And that's where I should stop imagining.
Sohee brings her fist to the door, ignoring the bell button. Of course, she would do that. She is still holding the plastic bag that she's going to recycle later.
Maybe I should go. I don't think I should be here. Something tells me that I being here could get someone hurt.
But the lingerie. She could be wearing lingerie.
Control it and go.
Naked. She could be naked.
Go.
No.
Knock. Knock.
Nothing.
Knock. "Ne––Nelly?" called Sohee,
A few minutes later, we can hear a sound coming from beside the door.
Then seconds later…
"W—Who…"
The door speaks.
"It's Sohee, Nelly."
Click. The safe of emerald opened.
Lingerie? Pajama? Cute t-shirt? Bah! Of course, Nelly would be wearing a white, thick blanket that wraps around her whole body, covering all her skin from the air.
"So–Sohee!"
She wraps the blanket around Sohee, hugging her with joy.
"I'm glad you're here…"
"Ye—yeah, Nelly."
"I was so lonely."
"Nelly, did you see my text?"
She shakes her head, still closing her eyes. "Mmn, I flushed my phone in the toilet last night."
"Again, Nelly?"
Wow. Nelly is being all happy and cheery. Not in a million years, I expect to see this in front of my eyes this soon.
And what is this about flushing your phone in the toilet? There are a lot of things you can do with that technology, but not that.
Is she okay?
Of course not.
Nelly. I have been thinking a lot about her, too. How she treated me, how she is just so scared back in the loop, and how hard she is trying to overcome what's haunting her.
'You're a lot better than we last met,' was what Sohee said back then.
'Maybe she isn't just shy,' I thought back then.
Back then.
Back then…
Back then?
Memory.
I have a piece of memory that happened in the loop.
'Stop! Stop Sunbae, what are you doing? Nelly. Nelly, are you okay? It's fine… no, stop, Nelly! Oh my god! Ca—Call the ambulance! The ambulance, someone! Sunbae, how can you be so calm!"
A voice… like Sohee.
And then my voice. "It's fine. Everything's going back to normal…"
"You made her do that, Sunbae. You made her!"
"I… didn;'t know… I just want to try something else. I didn't know. I swear. I didn't."
These voices… at the back of my mind.
What… happened back… then…?
My head hurts.
I seem to be remembering something.
But this time it's not about the old user. No. It's about me.
Something that I did.
Back when I was stuck in a loop,
In one of the retries.
Don't think about it. Just don't remember. It would only hurt you.
"I'm so happy you're here, Sohee."
"Nelly… I have something to tell you…"
But now, seeing Nelly like this, that shard of memory resurfaced.
The scene of the emerald eyes widened. A scream. A window shattering. A dead person.
All because I… get too close to her.
"What is it, Sohee?"
"I…"
She turns back… at me.
Nelly follows her sight, not realizing that I am sharing the same air she has.
"I brought… Sunbae here."
The emerald eyes shrink. All of that happiness radiates, dead.
I have kept myself further than what Sohee asked. This way, maybe nobody has to die today. It's the third floor; it's a long fall from here. Just not long, just as in the special class.
Maybe it's a good thing I remember that.
Maybe it's good I remember that Nelly is… 'she's not okay, Sunbae! I told you this before! She is not good yet! She is still recovering! She still has her—'
Androphobia.
The fear of men.