Tokyo didn't quiet down at night; it just changes personalities.
Neon lights flickered like they were in on a secret, vending machines hummed to themselves and somewhere in the distance, a jingle played just a little too cheerfully for the hour.
It was the perfect time for two completely incompatible people to decide, for reasons neither fully understood, to go on an 'adventure' together.
Each had an agenda.
One sought to purge evil from the city.
The other planned to recruit it.
Walking along an empty street, both wore the confidence of people who had no idea how ridiculous they looked.
'Hey, Dark Lord,' The Swordfish Knight said, resting her blade on her shoulder. 'How are you going to fight the forces of darkness?'
'Hehehe.' The Dark Lord nudged her glasses up. 'This lord does not fight, foolish warrior.'
She gestured behind her. 'That's what my minions are for.'
'Ohh… is that why there are two people with us?' She pointed to the two guys.
'Oh. You have spotted my minions of darkness.' She smiled proudly. 'My servant assigned them to me for my protection.'
'Boss is friends with some funny people,' One of the minions said quietly to the other.
'I see. As expected of you. Using others to do your dirty work.' She raised her sword dramatically. 'As a hero of justice, I must protect those I care about with my own hands!'
'Hmph. All biceps, no brain.'
'You want to fight?!'
Before things could escalate, a faint noise echoed from a nearby alley.
Both froze.
'I heard something,' the Knight whispered.
They turned toward a narrow, decaying side street, overflowing with trash bags, flickering signs and the unmistakable vibe of bad decisions.
Also… music?
They exchanged a glance and nodded.
'Time to investigate.'
Step.
Step.
The Knight moved cautiously, sword raised, scanning every shadow.
The Dark Lord strolled behind her like she was window shopping.
'I think I see something,' one of the bodyguards said, pointing.
'Confirmed.' The other added. 'Two targets. Low threat.'
'Step aside.' The Dark Lord formed binoculars with her hands. 'Yes… I see them.'
'I don't see anything.' The Knight made binoculars with her hands.
'Because you are doing it wrong.'
'Then how do I shape my hand?!'
Two men stood further down the alley.
Spotting the adventurers, the two guys stopped.
'Ohh, two pretty ladies right at our doorstep.' One of them grinned.
'What are your names, pretty ladies?' The other asked.
The Swordfish Knight stepped forward, lifting her blade high.
'I am the hero of justice, the protector of peace…' She brought her sword down. 'All evil that stands before my blade has perished.'
'Hehehe.' The Dark Lord lifted her glasses. 'You are unworthy of knowing my name. Be grateful you can stand in my presence at all.'
The two men blinked.
One of them leaned in. 'We should leave. Immediately.'
'Why?'
'Because… wherever this is…' He looked at them striking their poses. '… It's a warning sign.'
They turned and went.
'HALT!'
They kept on walking.
'This Lord's command is not a suggestion,' she said coldly. 'Ignore me and you prove yourself either a fool… or an even bigger fool.'
'Let's quickly go.' One whispered.
'Minions,' she snapped. 'Stop them.'
The bodyguards stepped forward in sync, blocking the exit.
'You heard the lady.' One said. 'You've been granted an audience.'
The men turned back slowly, now visibly shaking.
'Wh… what do you want from us?'
'We will ask you—' Both women said at the same time.
They stopped and glared at each other.
'Hey, I said it first!' The Swordfish Knight said.
'No, I did.'
They turned to the terrified men.
'Who said it first?' They both asked.
'I-I-I th-think—' One of them slowly pointed at the Swordfish Knight.
Then he noticed the Dark Lord staring directly into his soul.
'I m-meant, y-you!'
Now, the Knight glared.
'I-I don't know.' He cried, hugging his friend.
'Pathetic,' the Dark Lord scoffed. 'This is what happens when you rely on mortals to decide.'
'Then let's settle this properly.' The Knight said.
'Agreed.'
A method as old as time.
A sacred ritual.
A battle of fate itself.
The Dark Lord smiled. 'You two will witness this.'
'… We don't want to.' One whispered.
Too late.
The Knight reached into her pocket.
*Scrunch scrunch*
'Where is it…?'
After fighting past receipts, tissues and something unidentifiable, she finally managed to locate the ancient item.
'Found it!'
She held it up.
A coin.
'I call heads.' The Swordfish Knight flipped the coin.
'Fine… then this Lord will go with tails.'
The coin flipped into the air.
Spinning.
Glinting.
Carrying the full, completely unjustified weight of their egos.
It hit the ground.
Bounced.
Rolled.
Both leaned in, eyes locked.
And then…
It stopped.
Tails.
'The outcome was inevitable.' She pushed her glasses up.
'This game is rigged! I want a rematch!'
'You must honour the result, k-n-i-g-h-t.'
The Knight trembled.
'Fine. I never break promises.'
The two men clung to each other in terror.
'P-please let us go!' One cried. 'We'll confess!'
The other quickly nodded.
'We were only going to l-lure you two and then d-drug you for y-your body.'
The two women looked at each other.
'… Huh?'
'We were just going to ask for directions.' The Knight said. 'Politely.'
'Specifically, where we might find the forces of darkness.' Eri added.
'Oh.'
Relief washed over them.
'We thought you were going to do… things to us.'
'Yeah.' The other nodded.
Then, one of them pointed. 'The fo-forces of darkness are tha—'
'PURGE ALL EVIL!'
The Knight launched forward instantly.
*Whack whack whack*
'AHHHH! SA…SAVE US!'
The two lay on the floor, trying to block the attacks.
'My minions,' the Dark Lord said calmly, 'discipline them.'
The bodyguards joined.
'Engaging.' One said.
'Non-lethal?'
'Yeah.' He replied.
Chaos ensued.
Eventually…
'…'
'Justice has been served,' the Knight said, sheathing her sword.
The two men lay on the ground, barely conscious.
'Acceptable,' the Dark Lord said. 'My army has no use for incompetence.'
The Knight looked up at the night sky.
'The night is still young.'
'Indeed, I can feel it… more darkness gathering.'
They stepped out of the alley.
'So… where to now?' The Dark Lord asked.
The Knight raised her sword up high.
'Wherever evil is!'
A gust of wind passed through the alley.
Trash rustled.
A flyer smacked her directly in the face.
She peeled it off slowly.
'… Grand opening. Forces of Darkness Headquarters.'
'…'
They both looked up.
A glowing sign flickered at the end of the street.
[Forces of Darkness - Now Hiring]
The Dark Lord adjusted her glasses.
'How convenient.'
The Knight grinned.
'Perfect.'
'I wonder if we could get an autograph from the boss?' The bodyguards thought.