The time I spent in my new place passed quietly.
My life gradually became more stable. I had friends, new relationships, and I slowly grew used to the rhythm of that place.
From time to time, he still sent me gifts.
Sometimes it was a necklace he had specially ordered.
Sometimes a delicate bracelet.
Sometimes just a simple but pretty hair clip.
Once, he sent me a small doll — exactly like the one I had once said I liked when we passed by a shop together.
Sometimes there was also a small amount of money in the package.
He would only send a short message:
"For you to buy something you like."
At that time, I didn't think much of it.
I simply thought he was someone very kind to me.
Someone who remembered even the smallest things I had once mentioned.
I didn't realize that behind those gifts was a very deep kind of care.
During that period, I met more new people.
They were around his age.
They were open, cheerful, easy to talk to.
Back then, I was still very naïve.
I thought everyone in the world was as kind as he was.
I didn't know that not everyone was like him.
One day, it was his birthday.
I remembered.
But I thought he must be busy studying abroad.
I planned to call him that evening.
But at that moment, an acquaintance invited me out for dinner.
I didn't think much about it.
I agreed.
I thought it would just be a normal meal.
But he didn't take me to a restaurant.
He took me somewhere else.
A place I didn't recognize.
A place that made me feel uneasy.
I asked,
"Where is this?"
He just smiled.
That was when I began to feel afraid.
But by then, it was too late.
What happened afterward…
I cannot bring myself to think about it.
Nor can I speak of it.
All I know is that after that night, I felt like a completely different person.
I couldn't believe it had happened.
I couldn't face it.
I felt ashamed.
And afraid.
To the point that I couldn't tell anyone.
⸻
At that moment, my phone rang.
It was him.
He was calling me.
I looked at the screen.
I didn't dare to answer.
He called again.
And again.
Several calls in a row.
Then came the messages.
But I didn't dare to reply.
That night, I was almost in panic.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know how to face anything anymore.
The next day, I only sent him one short message:
"I'm okay."
He replied immediately.
"What's wrong?"
"Is something happening?"
I stared at his message for a long time.
But I didn't dare to say anything more.
I didn't know how to explain.
I didn't know what to say.
Not long after that, I lost my phone.
I lost all contact with him.
But deep down, I knew that even if I still had my phone, I wouldn't have had the courage to call him.
I felt that I was no longer worthy.
Not worthy of his care.
Not worthy of the good things he had given me — even when I hadn't yet understood what love was.
Unable to reach me, he asked his cousin to find me.
His cousin came to where I was living.
When he saw me, he said,
"Khang is very worried about you."
I stood there, not knowing what to say.
I didn't dare to ask more about him.
I didn't dare to hear anything else.
In the end, I only said one sentence.
"I'm getting married."
He fell silent.
I don't know what he told Khang after that.
I don't know what Khang thought when he heard those words.
I didn't dare to ask.
And I didn't dare to know.
That was in 2013.
I was still very young.
Very timid.
Very fragile.
I didn't know how to protect myself.
I didn't know how to stand up for myself.
If I were the person I am now…
perhaps things would have been different.
Perhaps I would have screamed, resisted, run away.
Perhaps I wouldn't have allowed that marriage to happen.
Perhaps I wouldn't have stepped into a life I never truly chose.
But back then, I wasn't strong enough.
And from that moment on…
I believed that his life and mine had moved onto completely different paths.
We no longer belonged to each other.
Message of Chapter 20
Some decisions in life are not made because we truly want them,
but because we are not strong enough to choose differently.
Sometimes, a single moment
can change the entire path
of two people
who were once walking side by side.