Jordan Bennett
I pulled up to Savannah's early. The street was quiet, most of the houses still dark. She answered the door in sweats with her hair up, looked at me, and stepped aside to let me in without saying anything. That's one of the things I like about Savannah. She doesn't require a lot of setup.
I sat at the island while she moved around the kitchen. She made eggs and toast, cut up some fruit, poured two cups of coffee. I watched her do it. She's efficient in the morning, no wasted motion, everything in a certain order. She set the plate in front of me and sat across the island and we ate.
We talked about nothing in particular. Her sister. Something that happened earlier in the week. A song she had been listening to on repeat that she could not explain. I let her go. The morning was easy and I was in no rush to make it anything else.
After about an hour she pushed her plate aside and looked at me.
"So what are we doing today?"
"Shoe shopping," I said.
She smiled. "Give me twenty minutes."
She disappeared down the hall and I sat there finishing my coffee looking out the window, thinking about what I wanted to say later and how.
* * *
We hit four stores. Savannah had a method. She walked every aisle once before touching anything, which she said was so she could form opinions without being influenced by what she picked up first. I did not follow the logic entirely but she was confident in it so I stayed out of the way.
She tried on a lot of pairs. Some she ruled out immediately. Some she went back to two or three times. She had opinions on all of it and shared most of them out loud, which I did not mind. She is funny when she is shopping. Specific and a little ruthless.
I ended up with seven pairs across the morning. She picked four of them. I picked the other three and she told me one was fine and questioned the other two but let it go.
We got food from a spot near the last store and sat outside. She talked. I ate and listened and laughed at the right parts. It was a good morning. The easy kind that does not ask anything of you.
On the drive back she asked how things were going. And I told her.
* * *
I told her about Maddy. The step, the conversation, what Maddy said about Nate, what happened after. All of it. Savannah listened the whole way through without cutting in once. She does that well. She does not try to fill the space while you are talking. She just sits in it until you are done.
When I finished she was quiet for a moment, looking out the window at the streets going by.
Then she said, "She already knows you like her."
"Yeah," I said. "I know."
"So it is not about telling her. She is past that. She knows how you feel. The question is what you are going to do about it."
I did not say anything.
"Here is the thing about Maddy," Savannah continued. "She does not need to be convinced. She has already done the math on you. She showed up to your house at two in the morning and had a whole conversation and stayed. That is not a girl who does not know what she wants. That is a girl who is waiting to see if you are serious or if this is just another situation."
"Another situation," I said.
"Like something that just happens and then you both pretend it did not mean anything. She has been through that with Nate for years. That whole push and pull where nobody ever actually says what they want and everything stays convenient and unclear. If you are the same as that she is going to keep one foot out the door. If you are different she needs to see it."
"See it how," I said.
"By you being consistent. By actually showing up. Not just when it is easy or when she comes to you. You go to her. You make it clear that you are not waiting around for her to decide between you and Nate. You are not competing with him. You are just there, doing what you do, and she either chooses that or she does not."
I thought about that.
"She told me she still loves him," I said.
"And she might for a while. You cannot argue her out of that and you should not try. But feelings follow actions eventually. If she keeps choosing to be around you and you keep showing up right, that changes. Slowly. But it changes."
She paused. Then: "The worst thing you can do right now is play it cool. She already knows you like her. Playing it cool just reads as you not being serious. And if she thinks you are not serious she is going to go back to what she knows."
"Nate," I said.
"Nate," she said.
I drove for a minute without saying anything.
"So what are you actually saying," I said.
"I am saying if you want her you have to try. For real. Not halfway. Not when it is convenient. Actually try. And then whatever happens, at least you know you did not leave it sitting on the table."
I looked out at the road.
"Yeah," I said. "Okay."
She did not say anything else about it. She turned the music up a little and leaned her head against the window and let me sit with it.
I dropped her home and she grabbed her bags from the back seat.
"Thanks for the shoes," she said.
"Thanks for the advice," I said.
She smiled. Kissed me once. Went inside.
* * *
I drove home with the windows down thinking about what she said.
If you want her you have to try. For real. Not halfway.
Simple. Obvious. The kind of thing that is easy to hear and hard to actually do.
I got home, dropped the bags inside, and went out back to the bike. It had been sitting finished for a few days now. I kept finding small things to adjust, which is what I do when something is done but I am not ready to admit it. I tightened the last few things, wiped it down, rolled it out front.
Started it up. Engine caught clean on the first try. I let it idle and listened. It sounded exactly right. Everything I had put into it was in there.
I took it around the block. Smooth through the turns. Responsive. Handling right where I wanted it.
I came around the last corner onto my street and saw Kat and Maddy on the sidewalk.
I honked once and lifted two fingers off the bar.
Kat waved back. Big and immediate, like herself.
Maddy just looked at me. She watched me pass and did not move.
I rode off.
Did not look back.
But I thought about what Savannah said the whole rest of the ride.