Jordan Bennett
It was 6am and I wasn't even high anymore. Just tired. The kind of tired that's past the point of feeling like anything.
I'd been up since I got back. Couldn't sleep. My brain was still moving from the night, from Maddy, from everything that had happened in the last twelve hours, and the only thing that ever works when my brain won't stop is making something. So I opened the laptop and started building.
A few hours later I had a song.
I tweaked it until nine. Mixed it down, listened back twice, decided it was done. Posted it to IG without writing anything in the caption. No context. Just the song.
Then I closed the laptop and went to sleep.
* * *
Maddy Perez
She was still in bed when the notification came in.
boostedjay posted. She tapped it without thinking, the way you do when it's someone you check without admitting you check. The post was just audio. No caption. Nothing.
She put her earbuds in.
* * *
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
She stared at the ceiling.
You look so good to me, yeah
And I know you're not no good for me, but
You look so good to me
She sat up.
I don't need another broken heart or sleepless night
God, please guide me right, she looks like
The girl of my dreams, yeah
She pulled one earbud out and then put it back in like she needed to make sure she was hearing it right.
She was hearing it right.
* * *
Devil in a dress, angel in some Nike Airs
I could've sworn I went to sleep and she was right here
Don't know if I seen her in my dreams or my nightmares
Think it was my nightmares
She laughed. Short and involuntary. Then she stopped laughing.
And I think I need your love, I don't need no one selfish
Wonder if I give this girl my heart, could she help it?
And you know she's an angel if you let her tell it
Baby hot as hell, she got kicked out of heaven
She put her phone face down on the mattress.
Then she picked it back up.
You know I love that smile, them big lips, that clear skin
You know I love the faces she make when we sexing
Her face went somewhere she couldn't control for a second. She let it. There was nobody watching.
Can't get her off my mind if I tried, my obsession
Should Block both her number, erased all our texts, yeah
She checked her phone. Instagram wasn't blocked, so she doubted he had blocked her number.
* * *
I know you're not no good for me, but
You look so good to me, yeah
I don't need another broken heart or sleepless night
God, please guide me right, she looks like
The girl of my dreams, yeah
The chorus came back around and she lay back down on her pillow and just listened.
He posted this at nine in the morning. That meant he made it last night. After she left. After everything. She'd driven home and gone to bed and he'd stayed up and made a song about her and posted it before he went to sleep like it was nothing. Like it was just something he needed to do and he did it.
That's so Jordan.
She listened to it again from the top. Then again.
The comments were already filling up. She didn't read them. She didn't want anyone else's reaction to this right now. She just wanted to sit with it for a minute before it became a thing the internet had an opinion on.
She knew it was about her. She wasn't going to pretend she didn't know.
She also knew she wasn't going to text him about it. Not yet. Maybe not at all. Because if she texted him then it was real and she'd have to figure out what to do with it being real, and she wasn't ready for that.
She put the phone down and looked at the ceiling.
I don't need another broken heart or sleepless night.
She thought about Nate.
Then she thought about Jordan sitting in his room at six in the morning making this instead of sleeping.
She closed her eyes.
She wasn't going to figure this out today