I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so I went to the kitchen.
Mom was already up, which was normal for her. She had coffee going and she looked at me when I came in and said, "Maddy. Is she your girlfriend?"
"Not yet."
Mom nodded like that confirmed something. She poured me a cup without asking and set it on the counter.
"Do you want to know what I think?"
"I figured you were going to tell me anyway."
She pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. "Gia told me about the mall. And I've talked to her twice now. She's young, Jordan. She's still figuring things out. But from what I can see, she's already changing. The way she looked at you the first time she came through here, I've seen that look before. I know what it means."
"What does it mean?"
"It means she likes you more than she's letting on." She wrapped both hands around her mug. "I like her. She's polite, she's smart, and she's not trying to impress anyone. I can work with that."
I smiled into my cereal.
"Don't look like that," she said. "I'm still watching her."
"I know you are."
I finished eating and checked my phone. Interview today. Two label meetings tomorrow, one the day after. I had maybe three hours before I needed to be moving.
I went upstairs and got ready.
* * *
I picked up Maddy first, then June, then Savannah. The Tahoe was quiet on the freeway. June had her folder open on her lap and was going through the outline one more time. Savannah was on her phone handling something. Maddy was in the front seat with her legs crossed and her sunglasses on even though we were inside a car on a mostly cloudy morning.
June walked us through what to expect. The hosts, the format, topics they'd likely hit, how to redirect if something came up about the trial that I didn't want to go deep on. She said stay relaxed, don't oversell anything, let them come to you.
Maddy didn't say anything the whole ride. She wasn't stupid. She knew this wasn't her meeting and she wasn't going to make it one. I appreciated that without saying so.
When we pulled into the parking structure I sat in the Tahoe for a second after cutting the engine.
"You good?" Savannah asked.
"Yeah."
I got out.
* * *
They had a small dressing room off the main hallway. I changed into what I'd brought — black fitted pants, clean white tee, chain out, locs down. Maddy leaned against the wall and looked at me when I turned around.
"That works," she said.
"Thanks."
"I wasn't complimenting you. I was giving you a professional assessment."
"Okay."
"You look good," she said, and walked out into the hallway.
* * *
The studio was smaller than I expected. Everything always was. The mics were in a half-circle around a table and there were two hosts — one I recognized from the radio, one I didn't. They were easy. They asked about how I started, when music got serious versus just being something I did in my room. I gave them the version that was true without being everything.
They asked about the cars. I talked about the Z, about what it felt like to build something with your hands and then drive it. One of the hosts said he'd seen the YouTube stuff and I nodded and let that sit.
Then they got to the trial.
"We don't have to go there if you don't want," the first host said. "But it's obvious that the EP came out of that whole experience."
"It did," I said. "I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I went through something and I made music about it. That's all I really want to say about the specifics."
"The title though. He's a Good Kid, Your Honor. That's a statement."
"Yeah it is."
They both laughed. One of them leaned forward.
"You want to rap?"
"Didn't come here not to," I said.
* * *
The producer in the back pulled up a beat. Hard, mid-tempo, the kind of thing that gives you room to move. I sat back and listened to it come around once. Felt the pocket. Nodded a couple times.
Then I started. (Violation Freestyle)
Ain't no more motherfuckin' wassup bro with these niggas, man
As soon as you see these niggas, these niggas wanna cop please
Up to the money today
Fuck all that demon shit, I'm bout to pray
I really posted on blocks with these K's
I'm thinking about putting some stock in the braids
The hosts were nodding before I got to the second bar. I could see one of them in my peripheral already turning toward the engineer.
Back up lil bitch, you ain't bad enough
All of my foreigns get mounted up
Bust down my wrist, bitch I'm Patek'd up
Pretty Bitch named Madeline, she Dolled up
I pick out a foreign, got options
Get up your bag and you pop shit
Gelato smell just like a moshpit
No more vodka we sipping on active
I kept going. The room was still. One of the production guys in the back had stopped what he was doing and was just watching.
I got more money than all of you niggas
If I feel like it's smoke then I'm calling out niggas
Lil nigga, lil nigga you act like you bigger
Fuck all that uzi we give them the SIG gun
Lil boy, boy you ain't did nothin'
30K shows, that's that kid money
Thankin' the lord what he did for me
I thank him cause really I did something
Keep that shit quiet though, keep that shit quiet
They really don't understand what I'm saying
From the Nawfside, lot of Mexicans with grams
East Highlans High we got 85 vans
A lot of big names we done put them on game
Brudda told me about you niggas locked up in the chains
I don't upload a nigga, but when I see you I'll expose you niggas
Niggas so young that I'm feeling like an OG
At the top with the older niggas
Ten thousand racks wipe his nose, official
After that wrappin' a global figure
And I got loads of figures
It's all red, yeah the coupe it's a blister
Cause you're rich, lil nigga ain't official
You was broke, reading books, scared of pistols
I just woke up to the money today
Fuck all that demon shit, I'm bout to pray
I really posted on blocks with these K's
I'm thinking about putting some stock in the braids
Back up lil bitch, you ain't bad enough
All of my foreigns get mounted up
Bust down my wrist, bitch I'm Patek'd up
Pretty girl named Madeline, she Dolled up
I pick out a foreign, got options
Get up your bag and you pop shit
Gelato smell just like a moshpit
No more vodka we sipping on active
The beat cut and the room came back.
"Ooh," the first host said. Just that word. He looked at his co-host.
"Fire," the second one said. He leaned into the mic. "One more?"
I looked at June through the glass. She had one eyebrow up. Savannah was already smiling. Maddy was standing with her arms crossed and her chin slightly up, that look she got when something exceeded what she was prepared for.
"Fuck it," I said.
* * *
They pulled up another beat. Faster this time, more layered. I let it breathe for a second, found where I wanted to come in. (Go krazy go stupid Freestyle)
Yeah, I just spent 35 grand on a humbug
Half of this shit, I would've spent with the gun plug
Nigga more strapped than a middle-aged dyke style
Leave the boy stayin' where he layin' like the bathtub
Tryna keep it cool, but this bitch gon' make me act up
Nigga, back up, go somewhere and get your racks up
I will use my gun if I have to
Big FN, I will not need back up
These bullets'll leave a nigga tryna get sewn up
This bitch bad, she about to get flown up
Since 17, I've been livin' like a grown-up
Got a big bag, now every single bitch gon' fuck
Pull up in a Tonka truck lookin' like the money man
I do not give a single fuck about a hunnid bands
I can count that so quick with my other hand
My brims hard, let me know who realer then
Drop a couple million, still rock a gilla then
Might paint the whip all pink like I'm Killa Cam
Inside the whip peanut butter like I'm Peter Pan
I need my own island, Gilligan
I'm sorry your bitch wanna feel a man
Walk in the club, changin' the weather
They call me the new weatherman
New earring same size as a Suby
85 racks, no cap, know you see these
Shit look sweet, no licks come easy
On my soul this shit ain't PG
I'ma sit this one out like KD
Might turn 30, go bald like KG
Prolly will not cause I am not that crazy
Keep talkin' shit, I'ma wipe that baby
Six Grand tee, sent the money to AB
At this point, I see more water than the Navy
Need a Porsche coupe same color as some gravy
All tinted up, top drop, middle finger to a cop
Niggas hate Boat cause I'm the most unorthodox
Y'all know the face like a muhfuckin' chicken pox
I remember when the fuck ass niggas didn't rock
Now niggas know what's goin' down, word to Yung Joc
Bitch ass nigga
Yeah, go crazy, go stupid
The beat faded. Nobody said anything for a second.
Then the first host pulled off his headphones and just shook his head. "Bro."
His co-host was laughing. Not because it was funny. Because he didn't know what else to do with it.
I leaned back in the chair. My chain swung once and settled.
The producer in the back was already rewinding the tape.
* * *
June met me in the hallway after. She kept her face professional but her eyes were doing something different.
"That was Fire," she said.
"Thanks."
She made a note on her folder and kept walking.
Savannah grabbed my arm briefly as we passed. Just for a second.
Maddy was waiting by the elevator. She'd put her sunglasses back on and she had her bag over one shoulder. When I walked up she looked at me the way she had in the dressing room, just longer this time.
"You know you're good at that, right?" she said.
"Yeah."
"I'm not saying it again."
"You won't have to."
The elevator opened. We got in. I looked straight ahead and so did she, and somewhere between the fourth floor and the lobby she moved about two inches closer i put my hand on her waist.
* * *
Two label meetings tomorrow. One the day after. Franklin had the outlines ready. June had the counterpoints mapped. I had the leverage and I knew how to sit still and let other the experts work.
I drove home with the windows down and the music off and thought about nothing for a while.
It was a good feeling. I didn't want to ruin it by thinking too hard.