The cold drops splashed right into his eyes, blurring his vision. Wiping them away, he stared at the culprit. Dao opened his arms wide, giving a look that clearly said, 'You started it.' After that, the bathroom turned into a complete water war, and their giggles blending into a rhythmic melody.
Every night, they sneaked into each other's rooms to sleep together, but Kao had almost caught Dao.
One night, Kao was sleeping in Dao's room as usual. He woke up in the middle of the night feeling thirsty, but noticed the warmth beside him was gone. Rubbing his eyes, he spotted a figure sitting under the small desk lamp, the soft scratching of a pencil filling the silence.
Kao smiled softly, settling back into the bed and pretending to be fast asleep. He had known from the very beginning that his brother was doing all his homework for him, even though he pretended to be completely clueless.
But his little mind couldn't help but wonder. Why was his mother kept in a dark room despite how luxurious this house was? Why did that lady dislike him so much? And why did Dao take such good care of him?
'It must be pity,' he thought.
Or perhaps Phi Dao just doesn't want to say the words: 'I am your older brother.' Kao couldn't understand it all, but one thing was certain—this place didn't belong to him. When Dao used to avoid him, his little heart felt deeply hurt, thinking, 'he must hate me.' When Dao finally opened up, Kao only found his brother weird. But eventually, Dao became someone he felt truly connected to.
'I want to be just like him—kind, warm, and loving to everyone.'
Grandpa, Auntie, Tasuaka, and Dao.
Writing down the names one by one, he breathed in the scent of ink on the paper.
'Mae, our family is getting so big...'
...
As mornings and nights passed, Kao no longer felt like a snail searching for its lost home and he was slowly beginning to love the night more than the day.
In front of others, they strictly hid how close they had become. Even sitting at the same dining table, they never exchanged a single word. It just happened naturally, and Dao was surprised by how a small child could understand everything so well.
Dao secretly watched Kao. Every time the boy did even a small thing, Dao was surprised. But the happiness always ended with the same thought. The shame that they were both born here.
'If we were born poor, it would have been okay. Why did we have to be born here? What if I just ran away with him?' It was merely the desperate wish of a fifteen-year-old boy.
Right then, he realized the only way out was growing up—growing up enough to protect his siblings. Family names and titles didn't matter. All they needed was a roof over their heads and enough food to eat, without hiding or living in fear.
...
It was a day when Dao had extra classes, causing him to return home late.
"Thank you, khap..."
The driver bowed politely in response. Passing the pond, he entered the living room, which is dark and messy.
Broken white plates, shattered glasses, and crushed flowers that had done nothing wrong.
Fewer servants than usual were around, and Ton greeted him with a terrified expression.
"Young Master..." His voice trembled violently. "Madam is asking for you..."
Ton quickly took the school bag as Dao rushed upstairs.
It was quiet. Way too quiet.
A heavy uneasiness settled deep in Dao's chest.
"Mae..."
He knocked gently before pushing the door open. His mother stood near the glass window. Today, her dress and appearance were plain, her face completely bare of makeup.
"Mae... Why did you call me?" Dao asked, closing the distance between them. He noticed she was holding a bunch of rose stems, entirely stripped of their petals.
Slap!!!
Cupping his burning cheek, Dao stared at his pathetic mother.
"Dao, when did it start? Tell me the truth." Her voice cracked, sounding entirely defeated. "When did you start talking to him? Are you deceiving me?" She raised her hand to strike him again, but froze mid-air when she met his unwavering gaze, suddenly feeling intimidated.
"You... You..."
"Is that why you chose this style? Acting like a mother who actually loves me?"
"Daoo!" she screamed.
"What did I do wrong? Tell me." She gripped his shoulders tightly, panic filling her eyes. "You aren't abandoning your mother, right...?"
"How could I?"
He let out a bitter laugh.
'Because, you are my mother.'
"Then, can you do something for me? Can you give these pills to Kao?" She forced a bottle into his hands—the exact same Kao's mother was taking—but Dao refused to hold it.
He laughed, and her face darkened.
"What a lovely stepmother. If Kao knew, he would be overjoyed."
The bottle slipped from her fingers.
"Why did you abandon her?" Dao asked.
"What...?" His mother froze, completely caught off guard.
"My sister. Why did you do it?"
"Dao... We are dropping this topic right now. Don't do this to your own mother. You know that for your father's career, daughters are considered a bad omen... so..."
'A bad omen... you say.' Controlling his emotions, Dao kept expressionless and whispered, "Mae... We never spoke. I didn't see you today. If any of your servants dare give these pills to Kao, I will take them myself. That way, at least some of your karma will die with me, right...?"
"Daoo..."
She crawled after him, begging desperately, but he simply walked away.
He needed to go somewhere completely alone, somewhere far from this noise.
'What a family. A perfect mother, a perfect father, everyone envies me, but...' A tear froze at the corner of his eye. 'I shouldn't have been born.' Before he knew it, he was standing right in front of Kao's room.
'Why am I here?'
Even his body acted on its own. Maybe this room was all he really wanted. Inside, Kao wrote down their names one by one, talking to himself. Pressing his ear against the door, Dao let his tears fall, his lips trembling. He didn't go in; he just stood in the hallway, crying.
...
"Can't you just come with me this Sunday?"
"No. I have too much studying to do."
"But... But you promised you would come with me..."
"Kaopun... I..." Dao struggled to find the right words.
It all started two weeks ago.
Dao had let his guard down and promised to visit Kao's mother with him. He looked at Kao, remembering exactly how he got tricked.
"Phi... It's really scary... Too dark... Can you come with me?" The tears in Kao's eyes and his acting made Dao give in.
'How can I say no when he looks at me like that?'
Pinching Kao's cheeks between both hands, Dao scolded him for being so sneaky.
"Ahhh!" Kao whined, but inside he was happy.
...
Click!
Turning on the light, Dao got ready for a bath. He was so tired from school and Kao being stubborn. After a one-hour cold bath in the tub, he threw himself onto the bed with a heavy thud.
"Haaa... I feel good..."
Suddenly, someone knocked. He went to check the door without even changing his clothes. The moment he opened it, Kao stuck a paper right against his chest.
"I hate you... Phi Dao..." a message, with a black heart drawn next to it.
Dao stood there speechless. He wondered who taught the kid to draw colored hearts, totally forgetting he was the one.
"I will wear this every day in front of everyone," Kao pouted, looking away. 'I won't look up until you say yes.'
"Okay, fine. Let's go this Sunday."
Kao's face lit up instantly. But before he could celebrate, Dao dragged him into the room and covered his mouth.
"I don't want a bath!"
"It's cold... I hate you, Phi!"
"Say that again, Kaopun..."
"Ahhhh!"
The night was still long, and even the moon was hiding its laugh.
...
Sunday came faster than Kao expected. Kao thought the stars had heard his prayer. Clasping his hands, he wished that the stars would be happy too, just an imagination he had picked up from the stories Dao made up.
"You aren't coming inside?" Kao played with Dao's hand, trying to pull him inside.
"I will. You go first." Those fingers brushed the hair that had fallen across Kao's face. Then he leaned against the wall, seeing the small figure carefully taking steps.
'It's dark...' Hiding his red eyes, he stayed there, listening to the sound of Kao talking.
"Mae... Mae... I can brush your hair..."
Biting his inner lip, Dao forced a smile, but his body felt as cold as the air.
Inside, Kao almost finished tying her hair. He jumped off the bed, planning to clean the room.
"Kaopun... Kaopun... My son... Can you pass me that bottle?"
Kao tilted his head without looking at her.
"You already have it... I am not giving it to you."
"Give it to me." She slipped out of bed and moved toward him. "Give me..."
Kao had already hidden the medicine when he took the comb, securing it in his pocket.
"No."
"Give me..." Her tone became harsh when she gripped his wrist, and Kao cried out in pain.
"Mae... It hurts..."
The struggle frightened him more than his body pain, and he tried to stop her.
"Mae... Don't..."
He fell to the floor, his pocket ripping open as the bottle rolled onto the tiles.
Kao..." Dao burst inside, his breath hazy.
On the other side, Kao's mother had already swallowed a handful of pills, and now she looked frightened, as if she had seen a ghost.
"You came for my son..." she muttered, seeing Dao say, 'I am going to take your son... I will...' while mimicking a chuckle to mock her.
"No..." She screamed into the silence, unable to tell whether it was all her imagination.
"Ma'am... please calm down..." Dao pleaded, trying to reach Kao, who was right near her.
This was why Dao avoided her. When he first came to this house, it was right when Kao was told to be dead. The moment it happened, Dao's mother came with him, claiming she was the husband's lover. Through the loss of Kao, she was already suffering, but it only got worse with their arrival. But right now, he only wanted Kao to not get hurt.
"It's okay, Kao... Just a minute..." He tried to soothe him. But seeing the wounds on Kao's face and hands, he added, "Kao, wait for me. Your brother knows magic, so stop crying."
Kao nodded, but his tears wouldn't stop.
"Ma'am... Kao is getting hurt." He reached out toward her. "Please, he is really hurt. Let's stop. You can hurt me..."
He almost touched Kao, but panicking, she grabbed Kao's hand and rushed toward the window.
It was an open window, big enough, which was always locked. But that Sunday, it welcomed the breeze.
'Phi...' Kao's eyes longed to reach him.
Dao bolted, catching his hands.
Kao fell near the curtains while Dao grabbed his mother's hands.
"Ma'am... I..."
"Phi...!" Kao's voice disappeared before reaching Dao.
He didn't even have time. Only the half-gripped curtain and the shattered blood with a loud thud answered him.
When the room finally became quiet, the small boy was left on the cold floor. Tears kept flowing as he cried out, "Phi... Mae..."
The wind moved through the open window, and sunlight peeked into the room. Kao was alone until the servants ran into the room, but even after they arrived, he remained sitting there, muttering his brother's name.
...
"Breathe, Kao. Just breathe..."
The doctor patted his back gently.
The tears he had held for years finally dropped down his face, but everything already felt empty and too late.
"I killed them... I..." His voice broke.
"Kao... Relax. Breathe."
It was also a bright Sunday just as today, and he had lost his whole world.
"I did it... I killed them..." He could barely breathe as Doctor Paul tried every way to calm him.
"It's my fault... I..."
The sun shone even brighter.
Just like Kao's heart, another heart behind the door broke after hearing everything. He wanted to embrace Kao and tell him it wasn't his fault. He wanted to tell him it was okay.
'Kao... Don't cry...'