When Uchiha Tsukiko walked out of the Hokage Building, she felt as if the ground beneath her feet had turned into fluffy marshmallows. Every step felt light and bouncy, as if the entire world had suddenly become soft and welcoming.
Even the sun seemed brighter than usual.
In her imagination, the sunlight itself was flashing her a cheerful peace sign.
She even noticed a stray dog relieving itself by the roadside—and for some strange reason, the dog actually looked rather handsome today.
"Ahhh… the sky is so blue, the clouds are so white… and Danzo's face right now must be darker than the bottom of a burnt pot!"
Tsukiko couldn't stop herself from laughing.
Her laughter startled a black cat walking along the street. The cat puffed up its fur, hissed angrily, and jumped onto a nearby rooftop before disappearing.
Tsukiko skipped happily through the streets until she arrived at Kushina's house.
Based on experience, Aunt Mikoto would almost certainly be there around this time. After all, Minato was probably still busy cleaning up the disaster inside the Hokage meeting room, while Fugaku was away on a mission.
Which meant—
Perfect tea-party gossip time.
Before she even opened the door, Tsukiko's sweet voice rang out from outside.
"Sister! Auntie! I'm back! I've brought some absolutely earth-shattering gossip!"
She burst through the door, kicked off her shoes without caring where they landed, and dashed barefoot straight into the living room.
Inside the living room, Kushina was leaning over the coffee table writing something while Mikoto sat beside her untangling some yarn.
The moment they looked up—
Tsukiko crashed into them like an excited puppy.
"Oh my goodness!" Kushina laughed as she caught the girl. "You little troublemaker! What made you so happy?"
She pinched Tsukiko's flushed cheek playfully.
"Did you find Minato's secret stash of private money?"
Tsukiko's eyes sparkled like two giant lightbulbs.
"It's ten thousand times more explosive than that!"
She dramatically cleared her throat and leaned closer, lowering her voice like a storyteller revealing a shocking secret.
"Just now… in the Hokage meeting room…"
"That old fossil Danzo…"
Tsukiko retold everything that had happened.
But of course—
She exaggerated.
A lot.
She jumped into the middle of the living room and perfectly imitated Danzo's stiff posture, the sudden barking sounds, and finally—
That humiliating confession about sleeping while holding the Third Hokage's photo.
Her performance was so vivid it was practically theatrical.
"Pffft—COUGH COUGH!"
Mikoto choked on her tea.
Her elegant composure vanished instantly as she coughed violently, tears forming in the corners of her eyes while her shoulders trembled uncontrollably.
"Is… is this actually real?" Kushina stared in shock.
Her pen fell from her hand.
"Danzo barked like a dog… and secretly likes the Third Hokage?!"
"It's completely true!" Tsukiko slapped her thigh while laughing.
"Minato, the Third Hokage, and the two advisors were all there!"
"That scene was probably the greatest spectacle since the founding of Konoha!"
She wiped imaginary tears.
"You should've seen Grandpa Hiruzen's expression! His face turned greener than someone who just swallowed a whole basket of bitter melons!"
"I bet he won't dare meet Danzo alone for the rest of his life!"
Kushina collapsed onto the table laughing.
"Hahahaha! I can't breathe!"
"The image in my head is too strong!"
Even Mikoto, who was usually calm and graceful, leaned against the table shaking with laughter.
"This is… unbelievable…"
"Lord Danzo… how could he…"
"Maybe he's getting old and his brain finally broke," Tsukiko said shamelessly.
Then she happily buried herself in Mikoto's arms like a cat seeking praise.
"Auntie, don't you think I did something wonderful?"
"I added so much excitement to everyone's boring lives!"
Mikoto poked her forehead gently.
"You little troublemaker…"
Her voice carried gentle affection.
"You must have been the one behind this, right?"
"I don't know how you did it… but Danzo probably hates you more than anyone now."
"Let him hate me," Tsukiko snorted confidently.
"He can't prove anything."
"And besides… what can he even do to me?"
"I'm practically Konoha's mascot now."
Kushina suddenly leaned forward with a mischievous grin.
"Be honest, Tsukiko."
"What kind of candy did you give him earlier?"
"Do you still have some?"
"I want to feed a few to that old pervert Jiraiya!"
Tsukiko immediately raised a finger dramatically.
"Business secret."
"But if Sister wants some…"
"I can make a special custom version."
"I guarantee Lord Jiraiya will start dancing hula in public."
"Deal!" Kushina high-fived her enthusiastically.
That night, the Hokage residence echoed with laughter until very late.
But far away—
Deep underground in the Root headquarters—
The atmosphere was suffocating.
Danzo stood alone inside a hidden chamber.
The room was completely destroyed.
Tables overturned.
Scrolls scattered.
Teacups shattered.
His murderous aura filled the space.
In front of him hung a portrait of Tsukiko pinned to the wall.
The picture was riddled with countless kunai holes.
"Uchiha… Tsukiko…"
Danzo's voice trembled with rage.
Every word sounded as if it were ground between his teeth.
That humiliating minute replayed endlessly in his mind.
The barking.
The confession.
The laughter.
He—the darkness of Konoha—had been turned into the village's biggest joke.
"If I do not eliminate you…"
"I swear I will no longer be human."
His fist slammed into the wall.
Stone cracked.
Blood dripped down his fingers.
But he didn't even feel the pain.
"Send my order."
His cold voice echoed in the shadows.
"Begin maximum surveillance on that girl."
"And…"
"Contact Orochimaru."
If ordinary methods couldn't capture this slippery little fox—
Then he would release a snake.
---
Meanwhile—
Tsukiko slept peacefully in Kushina's house.
She rolled around lazily on the bed, dreaming about kicking Danzo like a soccer ball.
Suddenly—
A familiar system notification appeared.
[Ding! Hidden event completed: Creator of Iconic Scenes]
Tsukiko mumbled sleepily.
"Hmm…?"
[Danzo's hatred has exceeded the threshold]
[Status: Unending Enmity]
[Reward: Wind Release proficiency increased]
[Special Item: Substitute Strawman (Enhanced) ×1]
The system explained.
When the host receives fatal damage, the strawman will automatically activate.
The user will teleport to a random safe location within 500 meters.
A clone identical to the host will remain behind and taunt the enemy for five seconds before exploding.
Explosion power: equal to ten explosive tags.
Tsukiko turned over in her sleep.
A tiny bit of drool slipped from her lips.
"Boom… blow him up…"
"Aunt Mikoto smells nice…"
She completely ignored the "unending enmity" warning.
After all—
As long as she stayed inside Konoha with Minato, Kushina, and Mikoto—
Danzo could only rage helplessly.
---
In the following days, Konoha became strangely lively.
Whenever villagers saw Danzo or a Root ninja—
They looked away awkwardly.
Their expressions clearly said:
"I want to laugh… but I'm scared to."
That silent laughter hurt Danzo more than insults.
One day he even heard two dogs barking on the street.
He nearly pulled out a kunai to kill them.
Meanwhile—
Tsukiko lived her carefree life.
Until one particular mission arrived.
---
Early March.
Spring flowers covered the forest outside Konoha.
Tsukiko accepted a simple C-rank escort mission to deliver supplies to Tanzaku Street.
For her, this mission was practically a vacation.
"Come back early!" Mikoto said gently while adjusting Tsukiko's collar.
"I'll make tempura tonight."
"Got it!" Tsukiko waved.
"I'll bring snacks for you, Auntie!"
She happily set off.
The mission ended smoothly.
But as she walked deeper into the forest on her return journey—
Something changed.
The birds suddenly stopped chirping.
The wind vanished.
A faint scent filled the air.
Sweet.
And slightly bloody.
Tsukiko stopped.
Her expression turned serious.
"That pressure…"
"Stronger than before."
She spoke coldly into the empty forest.
"Come out."
"Orochimaru."
A low laugh echoed from everywhere.
"Hehehe…"
"What a sharp little kitten."
The ground suddenly bulged.
A massive white python burst from beneath the earth.
Standing on its head—
Was a pale man with golden snake-like eyes.
Orochimaru.
"Nice to meet you, Tsukiko-chan," he said with a chilling smile.
"I've been curious about your body for a long time."
But Tsukiko didn't panic.
She simply tilted her head and examined him calmly.
Orochimaru's eyes narrowed.
He expected fear.
Or escape.
Instead—
The child looked… interested.
"Lord Orochimaru," Tsukiko said casually.
"Isn't it tiring talking from the top of a snake?"
"You'll get neck problems."
Orochimaru chuckled.
"You're the first person to mention neck pain to me."
He landed lightly on the ground.
"Don't you know?"
"I accepted Danzo's request."
"I came here to capture you."
"For research."
Tsukiko sneered.
"Danzo?"
"What could that old man offer you?"
"Scraps of Uchiha corpses?"
"Cheap lab funding?"
Her eyes gleamed.
"But I can offer you something better."
Orochimaru's smile widened.
"Oh?"
"And what could a seven-year-old offer me?"
Tsukiko stepped forward.
"Possibility."
"The Sharingan."
"Wood Release."
"Even immortality."
Her voice became soft.
"Stay with Danzo and you'll spend your life digging through the Second Hokage's leftovers."
"But I know things you've never imagined."
"How to change bodies without damaging the soul."
"And secrets beyond Ryūchi Cave."
For the first time—
Orochimaru froze.
His killing intent vanished.
Only curiosity remained.
Tsukiko smiled.
"Instead of dissecting me…"
"Why not cooperate with me?"
She pointed at her eyes.
"I can provide blood samples regularly."
"In exchange for a few favors."
"For example…"
"Keep an eye on Danzo."
Orochimaru stared at her.
"You want to make a deal with me?"
"Yes."
Tsukiko grinned.
"Think about it."
"One meal…"
"Or endless meals every day."
Orochimaru's golden pupils flickered rapidly.
His mind raced.
Finally—
He laughed.
"Hehehe…"
"You truly are… an interesting fruit."
"Very well."
"I'll play along."
Tsukiko extended her hand.
"Happy cooperation?"
Orochimaru smiled.
"Happy cooperation… little Tsukiko."
The giant snake slowly sank into the earth.
Before leaving, Orochimaru said calmly,
"I'll report to Danzo that the mission failed."
"After all…"
"It's reasonable for a cunning girl with Flying Thunder God to escape."
"Thanks!" Tsukiko waved cheerfully.
"I'll treat you to Ichiraku Ramen next time!"
"Forget ramen," Orochimaru replied.
"I prefer the knowledge you promised."
His body dissolved into countless snakes that slithered away.
Silence returned to the forest.
Tsukiko finally sighed in relief.
Her back was covered in cold sweat.
Negotiating with Orochimaru—
Was like dancing beside a volcano.
But if she succeeded—
She would gain an incredibly powerful ally.
She hummed happily as she walked back toward Konoha.
"Now then…"
"How do I explain to Aunt Mikoto why I'm late?"
Her mind wandered to the smell of fresh tempura waiting at home.
And somewhere in her plans—
A future where Orochimaru might help her burn Root headquarters to the ground.
Tsukiko stretched lazily.
"Honestly…"
"I'm worrying about Hokage-level problems every day."
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