Jihûn spent all morning sitting on a cold rock. According to his mother, if he concentrated on the memory of nearly being killed by Consort Chen, he would gain insights into improving his own techniques. His mother and Jieun came into the garden to evaluate his rock-sitting skills.
On the plus side, that meant it was almost lunchtime.
"I doubt Consort Chen intended to kill Jiji," said Jieun. "All the snow women I've read about turn the beefcakes into ghouls. They only kill men who weigh too much or not enough."
Jihûn wasn't sure how to take that.
"Jihûn has beef," agreed Consort Yeon. "But is he cake?"
"We're too close to the subject matter to judge impartially," said Jieun. "Everyone tells me he's cake. If only there were more bad girls from good families, we could find at least one who wasn't taken and marry him off."
Jihûn sensed danger.
"All the good families expected a war," said Consort Yeon. "They hired sorcerers and warlocks to get boys, expecting half of them to die heroically. Then all this crap happened."
She gestured contemptuously at the world.
"What crap?" asked Jihûn. He immediately regretted humoring her.
"Peace!" wailed the Goddess of Glaives. "Twenty years of peace! Now all the good families are up to their armpits in sons."
"Desperate times call for thinking outside the box," said Jieun.
Jihûn knew that a joke was taking shape at his expense.
"You can't mean…?" asked Consort Yeon.
The princess nodded.
"Marry them to one another!"
She clapped excitedly. Jihûn jumped up from his rock. He objected to being teased after having experienced a near-death experience — and before lunch.
"I'm too young and beautiful to get married now, anyway," he said.
"Marrying you to a young man from a good family accomplishes two things," said his mother.
"At least two," agreed his sister.
"One," said Consort Yeon, occupying the field before protests could gain traction, "it eliminates any lingering threat to the succession."
"Everyone knows I have no interest in the succession," said Jihûn.
"That changes once a mini-Jiji shows up," said Jieun.
Jihûn understood the only way out was getting through the routine quickly.
"What's the second accomplishment?" he asked.
"Twice as much battlefield heroism," said Consort Yeon. "But which young man?"
"The real question is what's for lunch?" asked Jihûn.
"One of the Great Turtle's grandsons and I attended the same calligraphy camp," said Jieun.
"Gangsters!" cried Jihûn. "You said a good family!"
"Bad girl, good family," said Jieun. "Good boy, bad family. This good boy's name is Maurice Lupin. He has amazing calligraphy."
"Calligraphy is the Queen of the Arts," said Consort Yeon.
"What's the King of the Arts?" asked Jihûn.
"Music," said Consort Yeon. "Where is this good boy now?"
"Jian Peak Abbey recruited him."
"He must be very pretty," said Consort Yeon.
Jian Peak only accepted male disciples with lethal visuals. It was the smallest of the great abbeys, and was famed for dazzling swordplay. Jihûn briefly wondered what it would be like to date a gangster.
"Ridiculous!" he said. "Let's eat."
"It's funny you should mention eating," said Jieun.
"I often mention eating," replied Jihûn. "Particularly when I am hungry."
"It so happens I ran into Maurice at the Pavilion of Plentiful Dumplings," she said.
"Mom! Let's get dumplings for dinner."
"Why not lunch?" asked Consort Yeon.
"It's too far for lunch!" wailed Jihûn.
"The Great Turtle's grandson is doing well for himself," said Consort Yeon, "if he can afford Plentiful Dumplings."
"He doesn't weigh any more than me," said the petite Seventh Princess, "but ate so much without realizing the price, he ended up busing tables. I lent him money."
"Headlocks are more reliable," said Consort Yeon. "But financial leverage works."
"I told him he doesn't have to pay me back if he goes on a date with my brother."
"It's your allowance," said Jihûn. "You can lose it however you like."
"What did Maurice say?" asked Consort Yeon.
"Mom! Enough."
"Maurice is only about this tall," said the Seventh Princess.
She placed the top of her hand directly under Jihûn's pectoral muscles.
"As Jian Peak's new star disciple," she said, "you can imagine how cute he must be."
"My imagination doesn't work that way," said Jihûn. "I'm going to go eat."
He started to walk away.
"Abi d'Ilga recalled all the Attendants from the Palace," said Consort Yeon.
Jihûn kept walking for a few paces, processed what his mother had said, stopped, and turned around. The idea was even more preposterous than marrying the son of a gangster.
"That girl gave the Emperor three months to leave the Mound," continued his mother.
Jihûn knew the difference between teasing and a crisis.
"Evict the Emperor?" he asked. "Is that even possible?"
"The Attendants are gone," said Consort Yeon. "So is the Grand Preceptor."
"Gone?" asked Jihûn. "He stayed behind with Abi, Consort Chen, and Left Attendant."
"Then that was the last anyone but those three saw of him," said Consort Yeon. "Moonlight Chamber also lost several senior agents."
Jihûn scampered up to his mother's side.
"The other group?" he asked anxiously.
"We have to accept the possibility that the dynasty might collapse," said Consort Yeon.
"Melodrama!" said Jihûn.
"Your sister and I are returning to Gargogryeo," said Consort Yeon. "We'll set up in the monastery where we would have housed Ten and Eleven — if everything had gone according to plan. At least to the plan conveyed to me."
Jihûn liked to cultivate the image of a bumpkin, but his brain could decipher political machinations when required. He did not like the machinations his brain was deciphering at that moment.
"You conspired with Moonlight Chamber against Abi and Consort Chen?"
"Calling it a conspiracy overstates our arrangement."
"They could have killed you too!"
Consort Yeon smiled ruefully — and then patted Jihûn's cheek.
"Your concern makes me proud," she said.
"Mother! Those two are dangerous."
"Killing Old Red Bird, making the Grand Preceptor vanish, and evicting the Emperor proves it," said Consort Yeon.
"So you could have died!" said Jihûn. "Or… are you stronger than Old Red Bird?"
"I am now," said Consort Yeon. "Previously it was an even match. But my survival was not a matter of strength."
"What was it a matter of?"
"Sincerity," said Consort Yeon. "I intended to bring the princes to safety. Old Red Bird had some other agenda."
"What?" asked Jihûn. "Kill them? He couldn't!"
"I suspect Old Red Bird planned to use Ten and Eleven to legitimize seizing power."
"Father isn't that old," said Jihûn.
"Emperors die for a variety of reasons."
"Why did Moonlight Chamber go in ahead of us?"
"They went in simultaneously," said Consort Yeon. "You were the distraction."
"Abi doesn't get distracted," said Jihûn. "Neither does Consort Chen."
"That's now clear," conceded Consort Yeon.
"I could have told you!"
"You couldn't know what was happening," said Consort Yeon.
"It shouldn't have been happening!" protested Jihûn.
"Breathe," said Consort Yeon. "We're still alive."
Jihûn breathed.
"Abi left an impression she dealt with the other group before we showed up," he said.
"It was simultaneous," repeated Consort Yeon. "Maybe Consort Chen killed the agents before almost killing you. Maybe Abi multitasked. It's too bad she's so young, or we could marry you to her instead of a gangster."
"I'm not marrying a gangster."
"The dynasty may end. You might not be a prince much longer…."
"Melodrama!"
"The Attendants obey Abi d'Ilga," said Consort Yeon. "The Grand Preceptor is missing. Consort Chen has sided with the Ilga clan. As a Gargogryeon, you have no power base in the Central Plateaus. Neither does the Great Turtle's grandson. So make a relationship with him while you're still a prince and have access to capital."
"If he's borrowing money and has no power base," said Jihûn, "how can he help me?"
"He's the Great Turtle's grandson and Jian Peak Abbey's star," said Consort Yeon.
Jihûn considered.
"Why is he in the capital?" he asked.
"Theft," said Jieun. "A magic sword or something. Boy stuff. He's living in a flophouse for students trying to pass the civil exams."
"Madame Wu's Mansion?" asked Jihûn.
"That's the place," agreed his sister.
"You know it?" asked Consort Yeon.
"Of it," chuckled Jihûn. "Students and martial artists congregate there."
"Perfect!" said Consort Yeon.
"That's not the right word," sighed Jihûn. "But seriously! Let's eat."