" don't go! Pls don't leave me here! "
These words echoed round the room as she tried to hold on to a man walking out. She pleaded and begged him, tears pouring down her eyes, her clothes soaked with sweat and grief, her long orange hair tattered and shaggy. Her eyes swollen and red, as they conveyed messages of pain and sorrow. These two were love birds, he had promised her the world, but now he couldn't give her anything. They met five years prior at a local bar and it was love at first sight, soon they went on their first date then second and third and soon they were in each other arms, passionate love. She loved him, from his bright brown hair to his weird shoe, he was tall, really tall, even for a man, at six feet five he dwarfed over her. He was a nobleman in which she was to 'marry'. An exchange between her father and the man in order to strengthen their alliance, but his kind nature and true love flooded out of him. He was a noble like none else, kind, sweet and gentle and soon she was madly in love with him, she couldn't live without him.
On a warm spring day, the sun barely out, but enough to notice it's presence. The clouds, bright white, as though to out compete the sun. The crickets playing their roaring Rhapsody loud enough for the world to hear, the melody of bird songs and the beat of life emanating from the wild. The air saturated with the aroma of flower and heavy pollen. Truly spring had come to town. On this day he invited her to floral gate, the most beautiful garden park in town, a place filled with roses and lilies, he asked for her hand. He would take her to see the world, if only she would accept. She took his hand. The rest of the world sounded like an adventure, but she only ever wanted to see one place. She heard as a kid that a tree in Japan known as the the Sakura blooms pink, her favorite colour, all her life she had wanted to see them and this was her main desire. Three months later, she was noticably pregnant, joyous news to all, all but her fiance. At the mere sight, he curled up in disgust and ordered her to remove it as immediate as possible, but she refused, she wanted a child, a memory of him if he wasn't here. A woman with a new born boy abandoned by a man that claimed to love her, and a husband to be. She had nothing, not anymore, he had convinced everyone, including her parents of her infidelity and soon, they all turned their backs on her, disowning her. He was all she had left and even he slowly walked out on her. This is the story of Eithne. Many weeks passed and now she was nothing more than an outcast barely passing each day in the hovels. She had become a shell of her self. She was cold, weak, tired and mostly sick. Today she could barely move, no different than others as she curled in a ball, she's been curled up crying all day, but today felt worse than others. Then she heard him, a familiar sound. He yelled and wailed, making a ruckus. She got up, slowly she staggered, her eyes facing the dirt he laid in. She bent down, picking up a shard of glass, her face betraying her, showing the resentment.
" It's your fault, it's all your fault " she said quietly as she approached him, blood dripping from her hand.
" If only you were gone, then he'd love me again, then they'll take me back, and he'll apologize for all the awful things he said "
She didn't cheat on him, she never would. In her mind she held him at so high a pedestal he could never do wrong in her eyes. That's why it hurts more than it did, him calling her a infedelious, a common whore, she couldn't bear it. ' maybe it was my fault ' she thought.
" Or maybe. It's your fault "
She said quietly as she stood over him, glass shard raised above his heart, blood dripping down her cut hands and her bright orange hair pouring down.
" If only you were gone then he'd come back "
Now her hands shaking, her eyes bubbly as tears formed and dripped down her face and landed on the cheeks of the baby.
" I hate you so much. You took everything from me, my love, my family, my dignity and respect. I hate you. I really want to, but everytime I look into those eyes, or your cute face, or that adorable head that there's nothing inside, I fall in love with you again "
The prior weeks, she'd pushed her resolve, trying her best to harden it enough to kill him, but always failed. Everyday, immediately after waking up she checked up on him, constantly worried about him, feeding him almost too regularly and be amazed at how weak he was. She had been a prime example of an exemplary mother, and even now at her worst she couldn't bring herself to kill him.
The tears didn't stop, they kept pouring, now she was full on crying as tears fell on his face. These were tears of sorrow and regret, at being abandoned, left to fend for herself, the world threw her away, and even if she killed him it wouldn't accept her, everyone, even the family she once held dear abandoned her and now, he was all she had. At this very moment, she accepted her fate, she was going to raise him and make him into a wonderful person, someone who wouldn't make fake promises, or abandon those he said he'd love till eternity, and someone who values family over all else. Years slowly passed as she did everything she could to raise him. She worked all day at different jobs, he ate while she starved, every birthday or event that meant anything to him was celebrated as grand a style as she could. For fifteen years she cared for him, catering to every of his needs. She loved him more than anything else and as much as she showed it so did he. They were inseparable. Everything began to change on his sixteenth birthday. Her health had progressively gotten worse, and now she was almost completely bedridden. That day he came home running, and smiling, yelling so childishly as he took a curve into a long path. At last he saw his mother, he ran straight for her.
" Mum, guess what "
But she could barely respond, her eyes droopy, her body frail, the room wreaked of vomit, she hadn't been doing well but she didn't want to stress him or to make him worry about her.
" Yeah? "
She said barely audible. Looking at her she was nothing more than a shell of the beauty she was. Her skin now wrinkled and filled with spots, most of her hair were gone, and the ones that remained were no longer orange, they were stained with dirt and mud, but immediately she saw him, the spark in her eyes returned, no one would've guessed she was no older than thirty–seven. Stress, over exertion and fatigue had destroyed the beauty she once had. This was the first time he ever looked at his mother. He felt disgusted. He felt disgusted at himself, she'd been slaving away and all he did was make more problems for her. Suddenly what he had to say had lost all importance as he sat next to her, laying her head down. He was old enough to realize he had to help her, she couldn't continue like this, it was on him now to help her. He was going to get enough money to cure her. Without his mother working, food was hard to come by, he had to work, but no job needed someone like him. Days turned to weeks, he wasn't worried about himself, he could go months without eating if it meant she had something, but she didn't. Now there was only one option, he could steal some food, just enough for her. That night he waited, until the veil of the night cloaked the town, that night he went to every farm and stable he could find. He picked off as much as possible. He was small and efficient, not a single soul saw him and not a trace of himself was left, he returned home that night unscathed and unseen. His steps intentional as he slowly crept into her room, entering it he knelt beside her gently lifting her head.
" Hey mum guess what, I brought something for you to eat "
Gently holding her, he fed her an apple, now he was at peace, at least she was okay for now. Her eyes opened barely and it met his. Looking into her eyes he was shocked to see tears streaming down her eyes. Not a single word was said but she was shouting, yelling at him with all she had. Just those eyes were enough. That very night he returned every item he stole, now starving and scared for her life he sat beside her as the sun rose.
" God please, I've never asked for much, I've never asked for anything, but please can you do me a favour. Mum has been sick for a while, she's always been there for me, please can you just let her stay with me, just for a little while longer, let me... let me at least repay her, please...please ....please just keep her with me a little longer "
He said quietly as tears poured down his cheeks, the prayers of a child desperately begging for a little more time. With his life and the sun that rose that day, he swore he'd cure her. He needed money, a lot of money, so much that she'll never have to lift a finger again. All that said what was he to do to gain money the right way. Maybe he could sell land, no he had none. Maybe he could start a shop, no he had no money. In what way could someone get money with none. Maybe he could fish. To him this was the only option, but where could he fish. This thought lingered in his mind as he searched for bays and lakes, then on a walk home, he felt something pulling him, calling him somewhere, reluctantly he followed this feeling until he arrived at a small pond, no bigger than seven metres, a seemingly special body of water where there were small schools of herrings, hake and pilchard. Maybe he could sell some for a profit. This was it, he would be able to eat for weeks, months even. He began jumping about, just then a thought crossed his mind, what if, he left some. Slowly he cultivated the fished raising the offspring, these fishes were going to change his life. He leaned in, putting his soul into every aspect. With the time that had passed, he earned nearly five shilling, barely enough to buy a small plot of land, he expanded more and more, soon he sold clothes, then food and in two years he became a merchant known across and beyond the town, he was known so far, even the king traded with him. Now he had it all, he'd made a fortune for himself and, as the years had passed, he'd brought surgeons and medics to look after his mother and now she looked better. After two years he returned to her. It took him two years but all their depts were payed, and he'd fixed everything. Now they lived in beautiful homes and could eat whatever they wanted. It took him two years to repay everything and now it was time to repay his depth to his mother, and give her everything she deserved.
" Mum, I'm back " he said walking up to her with his hands behind his back.
After eighteen years, eighteen years of struggle and pain, he could free her, from her past and anguish. After he gained influence as merchant, he went through every connection he'd acquired to save his mother from her ailment, and he seemed to have succeeded. Now the world looked brighter for her.
" Guess what " he said smiling
Slowly she turned to him with a smile. She had missed him terribly, and somewhere deep down she felt once he gained everything, he would abandon her, but here he was, smiling at her. She lifted her hand, with a gesture, motioning for him to come closer. He walked steadily to the bed where she lay. Patting the space beside her indicating for him to sit. With a slight look of concern he sits next to her. The smell of blood and herbs lingering in the air, the typical musk that lingered after a medical checkup . His green eyes meeting hers, and as swiftly as he sat, she hugged him...tight. The past two years were harsh on her, but seeing him now, all grown up, her heart was at ease. Slowly she let go of him. He had come here to give her keys, to welcome her to a new mansion he bought, but now he'd forgotten all about it, his heart welling up with warmth, he had almost forgotten what affection felt like, he missed her as well. They spent the day talking as they did before. He smiled and laughed, laughter filled with a joy so pure, one could become happy just by hearing it. After hours of talking, he noticed the dark, it was nighttime. It was almost time to let her rest. Just then he remembered the keys.
" Maybe tomorrow " he thought opening a jar of a sweet cake he had bought. A snack to show how far they've come, to show how much they've accomplished and been through, a feast to honour their past, to remember their roots and to look forward to what will be. All it took were a few bites and it was all gone, now it was time to leave, he waved her goodbye and walked out the door. Years of sorrow and pain and the feeling of mediocrity, now he could give her what the world stole, a true life, he thought as he walked out the hospital. His face beaming with delight, it had been a long journey but it finally comes to an end.
She died that night.
Stage four colon cancer, she'd had it for thirteen years, she'd found out a year ago when he got a doctor for her. Back then noone knew what it was, it was unknown and incurable. She knew her death was inevitable. That morning the sunrise felt painful. Pouring it's rays down the window on his face as it mocked him, showing him shadows of what could've been, if he worked harder, did more, but not now, not anymore, there was nothing to do now, as he sat on her bed, eyes closed, he curled up atop the bed.
The bed she died on.
" Bring back the night " he said on the Verge of tears
Now he truly had nothing. Her funeral arrived. The day was as sunny as any other, as rainbows filled the sky, the clouds blocked the sun and it was cool, yet it shone through, illuminating the land. It was perfect, not a single piece of natured mourned her, neither did a single person. Not a single member of her family came. To all others it was a day like any other. He alone mourned. Just him. His eyes red from crying, he'd cried for days. As he stared at her grave, his legs gave out, suddenly becoming weak, shaking violently as the first raindrop fell. In a minute the perfect day was ruined, the rain pouring even harder. The clouds a depression grey. He hadn't eaten since she died three days ago. His eyes hollow as he walked to her grave kneeling before it.
" Well, what now? " His voice broken from crying. Now a low sombre tune
" What am I meant to do now? Why did you have to die now? We were so close. You could've stayed. We could've had more good times together " he said as tears began streaming down his cheeks.
He began crying, really crying, more than he had ever. Staring at the tombstone he fully realized that he would never see her again.
" I did all of this for you. I worked my ass off everyday so I could get a better life for you, everything I did, I did for you. What am I meant to do now? I have everything that could have made our lives better, but it's just mine now. What do you want me to use this piece of paper to do? Why did you leave me alone? Take me with you! Take me with you, please! Please! "
Tears falling as the rain pours on him.
A single tear drops from my eye as my eyes open, awaken from the dream. Eighteen years, she poured her tears, sweat and blood into raising me and after she died I became everything she hated most, the very person she didn't want me to become. I forgot all the values she gave me.
" Why?–why show me this? Why prove me right? "
" Hmm, prove you right? " he seemed genuinely confused
" Even before I was born I caused her trouble. The last years of her life was hell because of me, why didn't she remove me when she had the chance, her life would have been better without me. I was nothing more than a stain that ruined her life! "
" Really? Is that how you saw it? I showed you your past to prove to you the joy that she felt raising you, trying to show you that everyone deserves to be born "
" Would you say that about murderers? HUH?! "
" Yes infact I would, to be born is to have infinite potential for greatness for nothing is set in stone, one can become anything and everything, but just as much as everyone deserves to be born, not everyone deserves to live. And you were part of that list "
" So why let me live? "
" Because I believe in you, you were her hope, the only thing that kept her pushing in a world that threw her away. I believe in all of you, everyone, every human, because SHE believed in you, and I was right to do so. In her last two years you worked slave hours to secure her peace, after she died you went to Japan to see the cherry blossoms in her honour. Even now with your memories mostly forgotten, you subconsciously retain the ideals she thought you. That being said after going out of your home town you met unsavory people and fell into their ways. You are not a bad person, you just met the wrong people, hung around the wrong crowd, made a few mistakes "
He said putting his hand on my shoulder tears forming again as I cried leaning into him.
" Man you're such a crybaby, you've cried like three times today " he said laughing
" Well that's like three times more than I've cried in three hundred years "
Cleaning my eyes I looked at him, my eyes filled with contempt.
" Are you ready? "
" Thanks for the pep talk, but I know what I've done now, and I may not believe that I'm a good person but it's good to hear it "
" I guess it's been a pleasure, uh– "
" Oh yeah I never did tell you my name "
In truth I had forgotten it decades ago. I thought about giving any random name but just then a memory flashed. My head on her laps, my face bruised as I cry.
" Don't worry about them " she said so sweetly.
" I once had a dream with your father to see the cherry blossoms with him, but he left us, I had nothing left, and we humans need dreams to thrive, so I made you my dream. I am going to raise you right, make you a proper man, so maybe you'll take me to see them one day "
" My name. My name is Sakura. "
" Pleasure to meet you Sakura. "
" The pleasure is all mine. "
" So...this is where it ends? "
" I guess "
" Any last words? "
" Yeah actually, to you " I said turning to him
" I truly pity you. I have been alive for three hundred and ninety five years, so I know how painful living is, so I know when I see pain similar to mine in someone eyes. You have lived an insurmountably longer time than I have. You have experienced everything, haven't you? A being that will never die, cursed to walk the plains till there is nothing left, but you already know this don't you? the suffering that awaits you in infinity. with this death, my life will be complete, so I truly feel bad for you. A legend devoid of hope, a poem without meaning, a story without an end. I really hope the best for you, for you are my last friend "
My eyes and his meeting. In just a day, I formed a connection with him stronger than almost anyone I've ever met, so I really wished only good for him. Gazing into his eyes I felt my consciousness fading, my pupils dilating. I was dying. Suddenly I saw a pure white ball of light fly above me and dissipate. Looking down I saw myself, becoming the light, this was truely the end, overcome with joy, I smiled, a goofy, childish and pure smile. Looking at him I saw him move.
" It's been a pleasure 25, I'd hope to see– "
My ears were out. I couldn't hear everything. These were the last words I heard before—
A silence swept the land as death stood over where Sakura once was. With silence he honoured Sakura's death. Weeks passed as he stood in that spot staring at nothing. Now he was at peace as he turns around to walk away. While walking he hears a sound, a voice.
" Hey death, the event, it's beginning, come over "