The sun shine bright that day as the flowers danced in the breezy air. This was a summer day like another. With a dash a kid whizzed by, as the air clashed with his face he smiled, filled with an energy only kids posses. Suddenly, with a crash he bumped into something, a piece of glass. He looks at his arms, the place where he had collided with the glass, more so confused and curious than in pain, then, a drop of blood seeped through his slightly torn skin, and slowly the pain seeps in as he realizes his situation. Tears begin to bubble in his eyes as he begins to cry, it was as though the blood validated his pain. Somewhere in the distance a woman runs up to him, obviously in panic, her hair a mess, her face, blushed red, and gallons of sweat pouring down her face. She looked at the boy, breathing heavily, obviously annoyed. If anyone else had seen her they would've most likely been consumed by fear or run away scared, but the moment he saw her, he stopped crying and ran straight for her. His hand gripping tightly at her waist as he hugged her, only reaching her knees, his tear had changed into a smile, an innocent laughter. Slowly and intently she bent down and gave him a warm embrace.
" Don't scare me like that, with all the yelling I nearly had a heart attack "
Her voice stern but soft and oh so comforting as her Irish accent bled through.
This is the only memory I had of her and it bubbled up the moment I saw this person. At a second glance, this woman wasn't my mother. Mum was a little bit taller and had a few more freckles, plus... She was dead....Then... then why couldn't I control myself. On seeing her I lunged at her, my face buried in her abdomen, and slowly I began crying, gripping her tightly, and for the first time all day, I felt the judgemental glares of passerbys. After about a minute or so of crying I regained my composure and softly pushed her away. Strange how she didn't react to me. After her initial shock, she didn't really do anything else.
" I'm really sorry. "
" It alright, by the way, are you alright? those were some crazy waterworks "
Her voice, her tone, the way she spoke, even her demeanor was like mum's, I just wanted to hold her again, but I knew better.
" Yeah I'm all better now " I said as I wiped away the tears still pouring
" You don't look like someone that's fine, especially around the eyes "
She said as she paced around me and took a seat where death was— he wasn't there anymore. Then with an oddly commanding voice.
" You're about to do something stupid " she said looking at me with a gaze that peered into my soul.
This all felt too relaxing, too comfortable, it was like I was actually talking to my mum.
" Says the girl sitting with some stranger that just randomly jumped at her with a hug "
That must've been a sensitive subject, because she started to blush around her ears, she was embarrassed.
" The jokes on you, I'm used to this " she said with a tone of victory.
" You're used to adult men jumping and hugging you. What kinda freaky shit do you get into? "
" No no no no, that's, that's " she said covering her face, now basically red.
I remember, way back whenever I did something extremely stupid or dumb, she would go red with fury, her face as red as a tomato. I guess it happens to all redheads. But now I was curious, what kinda kinky stuff does this lady get into.
" Ohhhhh, that's what you meant "
Turns out she's a psychiatrist, and she's used to some out of control patients.
" Well thanks for the talk " I said getting up
" Woah, where do you think you're going " she said grabbing my hand, and putting me back on my chair.
" Is there a problems? "
" You're still thinking about something stupid, it's in your eyes, I can still see it "
" Hmmm, okay let's say I do want to do something stupid, what's it to you. Why should you care what I do? You don't know me? "
" As a doctor it's my job to worry about others, but more importantly as a human, it is in my nature to try to help as many people as I can, to make sure we are safe and smiling and living a true life "
This was her beliefs, I could see it in the glimmer in her eyes as she said it. She truly believed everything she j
said. Suddenly I felt something well up inside me. Something about her burned a fire in me. I wanted to protect her, see her smile, make sure her days are filled bliss, that her tears are taken away. It was love, but not romantic love, this was the love I always felt radiating from my mother, it was maternal love... Wait I'm a guy..... hmmm... What's the guy version of maternal, right yes, it was paternal love. Just then without realizing, I smiled.
" Hmmm, seems like you're okay now " she said tilting her head slightly
" It seems like whatever got you down is gone now "
After her last words she got up looking me in the eyes once more.
" I'll be taking my leave, see you later then. "
With that she walked away, waving, until she faded into the horizon. I wonder what she saw. I didn't notice any change, my mind is still the same, so I wonder what changed in me did she see. Just then death appeared on his chair, the chair where she sat.
" Where'd you go? "
" Nowhere, I've been here since "
" This entire time? But I couldn't see you "
" Somewhere down the line a friend of mine is going to make a theory about it."
" Who was that? "
" Oh she? She was your great great–great– great – great – grandchild, and she was on her way to her wedding, she's running a bit late as is "
What a weird kid. After seeing her and hearing her voice and feeling the Kindness from her, I wanted to see my mum, I felt at home as I spoke to her, it was as though I was at my old home being scolded by mum. Maybe I just miss home. I really wanted to see her, to hug her, to tell her 'thank you' for everything, even if I couldn't remember any of it.
" Death, this might sound strange but, can I see my mum? "
His eyes sad as he looked at me
" There are different kinds of death, and in all the soul still lives on... Follow me " he said standing up and walking across me.
After a while of walking. A long time actually. TWO GODDAMN DAYS OF WALKING!!!! We arrived at a desolate place. Devoid of all life, neither a plant, nor an insect, not even water was present. My feet blistered and were torn.
" We have arrived "
" So where are we? "
" This place is known as point zero. Clocks and compasses go haywire. A point where time, space and the very laws of existence are absent. A region in this particular plane where life doesn't exist. Where my influence is at its maximum. "
" A region where life doesn't exist? "
" The immortality given to you is strange. I suggested the idea to her so I know the inns and outs of it. In order to understand it, what happened to your mother, and what will happen to you, you must understand what life truly is. "
He was about to regal me with a story. In his words, I remember, he said...........
Long ago, before what humans conceive as life, there existed an entity, one that rivaled me. She was known as LIFE, the harbinger of birth and creation. She was the one who created everything, every concept, every name, every star, every language and every being. Although impressive, non of these are considered true life. In her effort to create true life, beings capable of intelligent speech and evolution, beings that breathe and are truly alive, she created the two primordial energy. Consciousness, the will of the living. And the soul, the energy that drives life. As beings age the soul slowly dissipate into the surrounding, fueling other forms of life, as well as the physical form, and soon enough it reaches a point where it cannot hold a physical form, hence, I step in to relieve it.
" That does not apply to you though. Haven't you thought it strange how people seem to die unfortunate deaths around you as if you were cursed. In order to keep your soul at a suitable energy capacity, she made it absorb the soul of others around you, because of this their soul gave up their body rejecting it in the worst ways possible. It is because of this fact that you secluded yourself from the world, from people, it is why you've been alone for so long "
A curse undoubtedly horrid in every sense of the word.
" But now, I can end it here. With no other soul to steal from I can simply kill yours "
Everything he's said so far was a shock. But his statement meant two things, firstly, that souls linger on after the physical body is gone, not able to bear a physical form but capable of existence. Secondly, there must be a place they gather, a safe peaceful place. Which means that—that I might be able to—
" If what you're saying is true, that means there is a place where these souls rest. Which means I can see my mum again "
I could feel my desire to see her welling up. I don't know why but ever since I saw my descendant daughter, I've wanted to see my mum, just seeing her would be fine, or maybe a hug, or maybe I could even talk to her—
" She's dead "
" Huh? " My voice barely a squeak
" She's dead, gone for good "
" How? " Curling my fist in anger, frustration, and sorrow as my voice echoed with an edge I'd long forgotten.
" How could she be dead!? " I said yelling, my anger burning even me as I turned red
" Just as the soul dissipates from a physical body, so does it dissipate as a pure form. Everything is connected in the great cycle. The souls although now pure will flow into the universe mixing with others to give rise to new life. Albeit slowly, but in time, usually about five hundred to a thousand years the soul will dissipates completely back into the universe. At this point all the person's memories, experiences, emotions and personality are gone forever. In other words. This is true and final death. You will never see her again, I'm sorry "
He said with a gentle voice as I slumped down, unable to stand. My legs were tired, my mind destroyed, and my heart broken. This was it. The lowest point in my miserable life. I lead a life of nothing but tragedy dragging others down my path of misfortune.....
" Why? why was I born? All I've done is drag others down this hole of wretchedness " my mind cascading down. All the joy and hope sapped away.
" Hmmm, I thought you'd at least try to apologize to Emily? "
" To be honest I'd love to, I'd love to grovel at her feet, but you and I both know that seeing me alive or dead would be too much pain for her "
" Hmmm "
" C'mon kill me already,let's get this over with. "
" Unlike the others where I kill the physical body, in order to kill you I'll have to kill your soul. In other words, you will die permanently. You will not see the first layer. "
" What was my reason? What was the value of me being born, I had it all and still managed to burn everything. What meaning is there to my life. I have no qualms with dying permanently, just get it done. "
" Hmmm, that's really sad "
he said in a mocking tone as he walked up to me and put two of his fingers on my head. Immediately I passed out.