Subaru's throat felt as if an invisible hand was squeezing it tightly, the air solidifying in her lungs, making even breathing a luxury.
"Carlisle...?"
Her fingers trembled as they touched his cheek, the warmth from his skin rapidly fading.
"Don't joke like this..."
She gently shook him, her voice carrying a plea that was almost humble.
"It's fake, right...?"
As if to prove it was just a cruel joke, she slowly leaned down, pressing her ear to his chest. Silence.
There was no heartbeat, no breath, only the gradually stiffening body beneath the cold uniform fabric, representing death.
Frightened, she abruptly let go, and Carlisle's body, losing its support, fell heavily to the ground with a dull thud.
His blue hair spread out in disarray, and those blue eyes that had always gazed at her so gently now stared blankly at the sky, pupils dilated into lightless voids. Blood seeped from the corner of his slightly parted lips, trailing down his cheek and forming a dark red stream across the stone pavement.
"No..."
Subaru's pupils contracted violently, and in the next instant, she lunged forward, tightly embracing his body.
"Ah..."
Her lips trembled, but only soundless breaths escaped.
"Ah... ah..."
Finally, a heart-wrenching cry tore through the twilight sky.
"Carlisle!!!"
She held him tightly, her fingers digging into his uniform as if holding him close enough could force his soul back into his body.
But the knight's eyes remained empty. He would no longer frown helplessly at her stubbornness, no longer gently stroke her hair with his warm hand, no longer tell her, "It's alright."
I killed him.
This realization pierced her heart like a blade, shredding her soul.
If I hadn't told the truth... if I hadn't tried to change anything...
Broken sobs echoed through the empty street, long and drawn out, as if she were tearing her soul apart.
The sun finally sank below the horizon, and darkness swallowed the last trace of light.
Subaru finally understood that she herself had personally killed the person she loved most.
Is this... the price of telling the truth?
Her tears flowed without end, her eyes burning with pain. She looked down at her blood-stained hands, the dried blood in the creases of her fingers resembling a cruel curse.
How long had she been crying?
Her throat tasted of iron, as if even blood was being squeezed from her body. The corpse in her arms grew colder and colder.
How much suffering was enough?
How long must she atone?
She mechanically caressed Carlisle's lifeless cheek, her nails leaving faint red marks on his pale skin. The features that once brought her comfort, the slight lines at the corners of his eyes when he smiled, the subtle movement of his lips when he thought, were now frozen into an eternal stillness.
What exactly did I do wrong? Why is this happening to me?
Blood had congealed between them into a dark web. When Subaru finally accepted that Carlisle's heart would never beat again, something colder than death settled deep inside her chest.
Someone patted her shoulder.
A guardsman in uniform stood behind her, holding a torch, its light flickering against his metal armor. His mouth moved, but Subaru heard nothing but a piercing ringing. The world felt distant, as if separated by a thick sheet of glass, every sound distorted beyond meaning.
When the guardsman tried to pull her arms away, Subaru's voice finally emerged.
"Kill me."
She could not hear herself, but she saw the guardsman recoil in fear. The torch slipped from his hand, sparks scattering across the ground. He stumbled backward, likely running to call for help.
Subaru lowered her gaze to Carlisle's face. Under the moonlight, his eyelashes cast faint shadows across his cheeks, making him appear almost as if he were asleep. If she ignored the blood, ignored the empty eyes, ignored everything
Kill me. The thought spread through her like something gentle, soothing the chaos inside her.
Someone come... end all of this...
When hurried footsteps echoed from the far end of the street, Subaru only held the body in her arms tighter, burying her face in his blood-soaked collar.
Take me away... to a world without pain...
Wait...
A faint light suddenly flashed through Subaru's chaotic thoughts.
He taught me...
Memories surfaced like fragments of a dream, that quiet afternoon under the sun.
"After reciting the incantation, follow your instincts and guide the mana."
A warm hand rested on her shoulder, the flow of magic connecting them.
Magic...
The distant footsteps grew louder, torchlight flickering at the edge of her vision. The guardsman's shouting remained unclear, fading in and out.
Release...
She slowly raised her hand, her fingers lightly pressing against her chest.
"El Minya."
The incantation was no louder than a whisper.
Several violet magic arrows formed within her chest, their translucent tips reflecting the cold moonlight. When the first pierced her heart, Subaru's pupils widened slightly.
So... this is how much it hurts...
And yet, a faint smile appeared on her lips.
Because the pain tearing through her flesh, compared to the sin of killing the one she loved, compared to the despair of holding his lifeless body, felt almost like mercy.
When the second arrow shattered her lung, she staggered and fell to her knees. Blood spilled from her lips, staining Carlisle's already cold uniform.
"Car...lisle..."
Her whisper dissolved into blood.
Her vision blurred, but she still reached forward, trying to touch his cheek one last time.
The third arrow pierced her throat.
Subaru's body collapsed against Carlisle, her head resting against his jaw. Warm blood flowed between them, sticking their hair together.
In the final moment before her consciousness faded, she thought she saw Carlisle reaching out to her, just like the day they first met, his blue eyes filled with a gentle, starlike warmth.
"Here, miss, your appas."
...
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