A rough voice, like a dull knife, cut through her chaotic consciousness. Subaru mechanically lowered her head, looking at the cloth bag the stall owner handed her. This was the third time. Those glaring red apples rolled into her vision for the third time.
"What's wrong, miss?" The man impatiently shook the bag. "Take it already."
But Subaru still did not reach out.
"What's wrong, Subaru...?"
Rem's question stopped midway. She saw it. Subaru's eyes were fading.
Those pupils, which once held so much life, were now like embers extinguished by heavy rain, leaving behind only damp darkness. Something more terrifying than despair settled within them, like the eyes of someone who had already witnessed the end of the world.
Carlisle dissolving into specks of light. Rem dying to protect her. Her own blood-stained hands.
The noise of the market suddenly faded, leaving only the sound of blood rushing in her ears.
"Subaru, are you done with the shopping?"
Carlisle's voice came from nearby. That familiar tone now felt like the cruelest form of torture.
"Subaru...?"
Carlisle noticed her state, frowned in confusion, and reached out to touch her forehead. Just as his fingers were about to make contact
"Snap!"
Subaru suddenly grabbed his wrist. The sensation was real. This was not an illusion, not a dream, but a new cycle.
"Run..."
Before Carlisle could react, Subaru had already pulled him into the crowd. Rem stared for a moment at Subaru, who had been standing still just seconds ago, now dragging Carlisle through the market. Her blue hair fluttered as she immediately chased after them.
"Hey! Why are you running?"
The fruit vendor's rough voice cut through the noise.
"You forgot the apples! I already paid!"
Running without stopping.
Subaru dragged Carlisle through the crowded streets, brushing past startled pedestrians. Rem followed closely behind, her steps quick and steady. Until the massive walls of the Royal Capital rose before them.
On the enormous stone archway, the words "Lugunica Royal Capital" gleamed coldly under the sunlight. The three of them finally stopped at the main gate, their heavy breathing echoing in the sudden stillness.
"Subaru!"
Carlisle suddenly halted, twisted his wrist, and pulled free from her grip. The force almost made Subaru lose her balance from the momentum. She stumbled as she turned, meeting his confused blue eyes.
"What's wrong? What happened?" His voice held no anger, only concern. "Why did you suddenly start running?"
Subaru's chest rose and fell rapidly. Only then did she realize how abnormal her actions were. She had said nothing, only dragged them along like someone who had lost her mind.
"Ah... I'm sorry..." She forced out a smile. "I got too anxious... There's not enough time, and too many things to think about..."
Carlisle looked at her dim eyes and instinctively stepped closer. "I still don't understand the situation... but it's okay, Subaru. You look..."
That forced smile made her feel sick.
"I'm sorry for worrying you." Her own voice sounded hollow to her ears. "But I'm fine now... After all... I've already tried every method I could think of... Looking back, ever since I came to the Royal Capital... I've only caused trouble for all of you."
Failed.
Every time, I made you die in worse ways.
How could someone as useless as me ever save anyone?
Rem stepped forward. "Is Subaru talking about what happened at the Royal Castle? Rem thinks you did very well."
No.
Subaru shook her head with a bitter smile. How could they possibly understand? The curse of Return by Death forced her to carry every memory alone. The blood, the screams, the countless times she watched everything fall apart.
The countless times she killed Carlisle with her own choices.
Her stomach twisted violently. She could not imagine what kind of expressions they would show if they ever learned the truth.
"I..." Subaru's voice was barely audible. "I've finally understood who I am."
"Carlisle..."
"Mm, I'm here."
He was still the same. His white uniform with red trim was spotless. His blue hair shone softly under the sunlight. His eyes were filled with warmth, just like the first time they met.
"First, we need to rent a Dragon Carriage." Subaru spoke rapidly. "We need the best Earth Dragon, preferably one that can run for three days straight without rest. I know a merchant who has excellent Earth Dragons, but I don't know where he is now. And there is no time to look for him."
Carlisle and Rem exchanged confused looks. "A Dragon Carriage? Why all of a sudden?"
But Subaru was already lost in her own thoughts, continuing without pause.
"We also need to buy preserved food for the journey. Even if it's hard and tasteless, we have no choice now..."
Her gaze drifted into the distance, and her voice softened unconsciously.
"Kararagi... yes... let's go there. Just like you once said. Rem can come too... but..."
She suddenly bit her lip.
"No... what am I saying... this isn't the original path... and someone like me doesn't have the right..."
Her fingers twisted nervously into her hair, then clenched tightly.
"But the position of the main wife has to be mine. I absolutely cannot give it to anyone else."
"Subaru." Carlisle gently interrupted, his smile calm and reassuring. "Can you explain? I really can't follow what you're thinking."
"Ah, sorry!" Subaru covered her mouth in panic. "I was rushing too much... I keep talking to myself like this..."
She took a deep breath, then slowly extended a trembling hand toward him. Under the sunlight, her shadow stretched long across the ground, small and fragile, like something begging not to be abandoned.
"Carlisle..."
He waited quietly.
Subaru suddenly bowed deeply. Her dark hair fell forward, hiding her expression. Only the trembling in her voice revealed everything.
"Please... run away with me. Let's escape to the ends of the world, somewhere no one can find us..."
When she raised her head again, a fragile, desperate hope flickered in her golden eyes, as if it could shatter at any moment.
"I will give you everything. My life, my soul... please... choose me."
...
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