Hovering in the mist, Smaug clearly remembered the scene from the original movie where the Stone Giants clashed.
It was a spectacle of earth-shattering proportions. Compared to this, the "Battle of the Five Armies" felt like a tavern brawl.
Eager for the show, Smaug quickly found a high peak, safely out of the crossfire but with a perfect view of the valley. He settled down to watch the fireworks.
Meanwhile, deep within the dark, winding tunnels of the Misty Mountains.
The sheer violence of the giants tearing themselves from the stone sent tremors deep into the earth. The inhabitants of Goblin-town—a sprawling, ramshackle subterranean nightmare—felt every vibration.
"Those blasted rock-monsters are fighting again," the Great Goblin grumbled from his makeshift, junk-pile throne. He was a creature of grotesque, wobbly fat, but he ruled with absolute authority. He waved a flabby hand at his lieutenant. "Go up to the porch. See what they're breaking this time."
"Right away, Your Greatness!" the sniveling Goblin lieutenant squeaked, gesturing for a handful of scouts to follow him as they scurried up the twisting wooden walkways toward the surface.
Outside, the battle had begun.
Two of the Stone Giants had fully detached from the mountainsides. They locked eyes through the rain and fog and, without a word of preamble, charged.
They began by ripping massive boulders from the earth and hurling them at each other like cannonballs. When the stones shattered against their rocky hides, the giants closed the distance and began a brutal, grinding melee of stone fists.
The other five giants, including the Queen, remained on the periphery, watching the brawl with impassive, craggy faces.
Ah, so it's a duel, not a free-for-all, Smaug noted with a hint of disappointment. Still, the display of power was undeniable.
The giants were terrifyingly strong. Orcs, Wargs, even armored Dwarves would be crushed like insects under those fists. If I can just get these hulks back to Erebor... Smaug chuckled, the Dragon Kingdom will be invincible.
A few minutes later, the Goblin scouts peeked out from a hidden cleft in the rock, overlooking the valley.
"Always fighting, these stupid rocks!"
"It's over that Queen of theirs. They've been fighting over her for an Age."
"Rocks with no brains."
The Goblins chattered and hissed among themselves. Suddenly, the lieutenant's eyes widened, his gaze locking onto a distant peak.
He saw the unmistakable, terrifying silhouette of a massive, winged reptile.
"Smaug! It's Smaug!" the lieutenant shrieked, scrambling backward so fast he nearly fell off the ledge.
The other Goblins fell silent instantly, their eyes following his pointing claw. Panic set in immediately. Without a second thought, the entire scouting party turned and bolted back down into the dark.
"Your Greatness! Great Goblin!" the lieutenant wailed as he slid to a halt before the throne. "The giants are fighting! But... Smaug the Terrible is outside!"
The Great Goblin, who had been lazily swigging from a rusted flagon, choked on his drink. His grotesque face went pale. "The Dragon? He's here? For me?"
"No, no! He's just sitting on a peak, watching the rocks fight!" the lieutenant stammered.
The Great Goblin let out a massive sigh of relief, then instantly flew into a rage. He hurled his heavy flagon directly at the lieutenant's head. "You sniveling idiot! If he's just passing through, why did you come screaming like you were on fire? What do we care what the dragon does?"
The lieutenant, who had taken the blow and rolled across the floor, quickly scrambled back to his feet. "But Your Greatness! What if he smells our gold? He breathes fire! We'll roast!"
"You brainless maggot!" the Great Goblin roared. "Look at the size of him! How is a Fire-drake supposed to fit down our tunnels? He's too fat!"
"..." The lieutenant blinked. "Oh. Right."
"Get back up there!" the King commanded, grabbing another flagon. "Watch him until he leaves, then come back and tell me!"
Despite his bluster, the Great Goblin was nervous. News traveled slowly in the deep dark, but he had heard whispers that Smaug had awoken and declared himself a King. Why would the dragon leave his hoard to watch giants fight? Was he looking for tribute? Goblin-town had a fair bit of plundered gold, after all.
He decided it was best to keep a very close eye on the situation.
Deeper still, in the absolute, lightless bowels of the mountain.
Near the edge of a freezing, subterranean lake, a wretched, emaciated creature crouched on a slimy rock. He hadn't eaten a proper meal in days, driven near mad by the hunger and the dark.
He tilted his large, pale eyes toward the ceiling as the distant tremors vibrated through the stone.
"What is it, precious?" Gollum hissed to himself, his voice a wet, miserable rasp. "The big rocks are fighting again. Yes, precious, fighting and smashing."
"But they is made of stone. We cannot eats them, no... What will we eats, precious? We is so hungry..."
Gollum! Gollum! he coughed, clutching a small, invisible weight in his pocket.
Crash! Boom!
The two dueling Stone Giants slammed into each other, sending showers of pulverized rock into the mist. They fought for nearly half an hour, an endless grinding of stone against stone.
"Cease," a voice finally commanded. It was the Stone Giant Queen. Her voice, though deep as the earth, carried a resonance that cut through the noise of the brawl.
The two combatants stopped instantly, mid-swing.
"Yes... Queen."
"We... obey... Queen."
Well, show's over, Smaug thought. Time to make my pitch.
He didn't hesitate. He opened his system storage, scooped up a massive pile of glittering, multi-colored gems—rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and diamonds—and took flight.
"Honored Queen," Smaug called out respectfully as he approached. He had no desire to be swatted out of the sky by seven mountain-sized bouncers. He knew that if the Queen gave the word, he'd be playing dodgeball with boulders for the rest of the afternoon.
"I am Smaug. I bring you gifts from the deep earth."
The seven giants turned their massive heads to look at the dragon. Their eyes immediately locked onto the glittering pile of "food" clutched in Smaug's claws.
Like Gollum in the dark, the Stone Giants had not had a proper meal in an Age. They slept because there was nothing to eat.
"A... drake... of... Morgoth. I... thought... you... had... perished," the Queen rumbled, her face betraying no emotion.
"I am the last of my line, and I am quite well," Smaug replied smoothly. "May I land upon your shoulder to present my tribute?"
"You... may."
With permission granted, Smaug banked and settled gently onto the moss-covered stone of her shoulder. He didn't waste time with flowery speeches. He opened his claws and deposited the massive pile of gems before her. "Honored Queen, I hope these are to your liking."
The Queen was hungry, and Stone Giants do not understand the concept of false modesty. She raised a massive hand, scooped up a handful of the priceless jewels, and pressed them into her chest.
The other six giants watched in absolute, statuesque stillness, though if one looked closely, they might have detected a distinct aura of ancient, rocky envy.
It had been a very, very long time since they had eaten well.