SF Chapter 29: The Incident
A short while later, Alan appeared in the living room.
"Why did Jake run to his room?" he asked puzzled, making a gesture with his hand.
"He was watching TV, so I needed to teach him a lesson," Daniel explained, without mentioning the very questionable way he'd done it.
"Okay…" his brother muttered, giving him a strange look, a bad feeling creeping in.
But Charlie changed the subject. "Where are you off to?" he noted that his brother was already dressed to leave.
Alan stuttered before finally answering, "The grocery store."
"You're going to Judith's, aren't you?"
"No," he denied, making a nasal noise.
"Then where are you going?" Charlie asked again.
"Judith's."
"Bro…" Daniel opened his arms, wearing a what the hell are you doing? expression.
"I have to," Alan started explaining. "The timer on the sprinkler system is broken, and the flower beds are getting flooded." He paused. "And I love her, and I want her back."
Charlie nodded and placed a hand over his heart. "Buddy, I feel for you."
"Thank you."
"Unfortunately, the feeling is nausea," he remarked sarcastically, standing up and heading toward the coffee machine.
Alan made a face but kept walking toward the door. "Great. I'll see you later."
"Alan, you've been making the same mistake your whole life," Charlie tried to reason with him. "Being the good boy, fixing everything so everybody will love you."
"It didn't work with Mom. It didn't work with either of the women you dated," he finished. "And it's not gonna work with your wife."
"You two know nothing about commitment and responsibility in a relationship," Alan accused, staring at his brothers, while the youngest kept looking at him like he was an idiot.
"Granted," Charlie accepted. "But I do know when a woman is using me. And by that, I mean not in a fun way."
Alan moved toward the door again. "Well, you can rest easy, because no one is using me."
He stepped out, but immediately came back in and looked at the older brother. "And did you mean that I only dated two women, including Judith?"
He corrected the idea, "Because if you did, I have two words for you: Maxine Chernakoff." And then he left again.
"Whoa, whoa," Daniel muttered. "Can we start saying he was adopted?" He pointed toward the door Alan had just walked out of, then turned to Charlie.
"Well, I will start doing that… again," Charlie said, sipping his coffee.
"Anyway," his brother changed the subject. "Are you staying here?" he asked, since Jake was around and someone needed to be present.
Seeing his brother nod, Daniel remarked, "then I'll go over to Sis's place now."
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Phil and Daniel were sitting at the table, watching the mother and daughter argue.
"Everybody is going to be there, Mom," Haley said, anguished.
"I don't care." Claire kept straightening things around the kitchen. "Your father and I are not let you drive two hours to go to a concert and then spend the night with a bunch of boys…"
She made a face. "Especially that 17-year-old ball of hormones you're dating."
"It's totally supervised," Haley pointed out.
"Oh, really? By whom?"
"By Spencer Patine's uncle."
"Who's Spencer Patine?" Claire didn't recognize the name.
"You know Spencer - the guy with the arm."
And Phil joined the conversation. "Wait. What kind of arm? What does that even mean?"
"Wow, Phil, you really are a modern dad," Daniel chuckled at what Phil was focused on. Someone could pluck his daughter's flower, but he was worried about Mr. Stump.
Haley completely ignored her father. "His uncle is Uncle Tobey."
"Oh. Uncle Tobey. I'll be sure to include that in my Amber Alert," Claire remarked, dripping with sarcasm.
"Oh my God," her daughter finally snapped.
"Okay, can I step in here?" Phil stood up and positioned himself between the two of them. "I think I can help."
"Haley," he turned to his daughter, "what your mom is worried about is you getting your heart broken when Dylan goes off to college next year."
His wife looked at him in pure disbelief. "That's not what I'm even think-" she stopped when she heard her daughter speak.
"He's not going to college," Haley revealed flatly.
"He's not going to college?" Claire's disapproving expression went through the roof.
"He's in a band, okay? They're going on tour," her daughter tried to justify.
Claire snorted. "Oh, this just keeps getting better and better."
"Dani isn't going to college either," Haley pointed at her uncle, dragging him into the conversation as well.
But Alex, who had just arrived and caught the tail end of the exchange, chimed in with the same level of sarcasm her mother had earlier.
"Oh, so you're comparing our best‑selling uncle to your garage‑band boyfriend?"
"Shut up, Alex!" Haley snapped, finding a new target. But she looked back at her mother. "Why are you always on me about everything?!"
"Because you need to understand-"
Before Claire could finish, Phil stepped in again. "Okay, now, everybody, calm down. Let's start from the beginning." He paused. "What's wrong with Spencer's arm?" He was still curious about the guy.
"Ugh!" Haley stormed off to her room.
Only Phil seemed thoughtful because of his daughter. Everyone else ignored her outburst.
Alex walked over to her uncle. "You're really not going to college at all, Dani?"
Then she reasoned, "With two best‑selling books and movies scripts, you could get into Harvard or MIT with a normal SAT." She added, with a hint of envy.
Daniel made a face of disgust. "Why would I go to the other side of the country? And still have to go to classes?"
"When the best part of college, I already do right here? Which is going to college parties." he added, his expression changing completely.
After that, he went to talk to his sister, who was still tidying up the kitchen.
"So, family dinner tonight is all set, right?" He grabbed a piece of fruit from the bowl and took a bite.
"Yes. I also invited Charlie, Alan, and Jake," Claire revealed, surprising her brother.
"Wow, they forgot to tell me that." He glanced at his sister. "Alan is making a bit of a mess…"
"Oh, don't tell me he's getting back together with her," Claire stopped what she was doing and looked at him incredulously.
"I hope not."
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