SF Chapter 172: I Can't Afford Hyenas II
Lisa and Alan were finishing sorting out all of Charlie's finances. They went through everything and put together a summary.
Charlie and Dani, who had been sitting on the couch doing nothing, finally came over to join them.
Alan began his report. "The good news is that a substantial amount of royalties is gonna come in over the next couple of months."
"Great. Problem solved." Charlie smiled in relief. "Let's go out to dinner," he suggested to everyone.
"No, problem not solved, Charlie," Lisa admonished him. "It's gonna take a while for that money to come in, and in the meantime, you're basically broke and have overdue bills!"
"But I can use my savings to pay everything off—" she started to suggest, but Charlie interrupted her.
"No," he refused. "No, no," he repeated. "I'm the man of the house. When I put a ring on your finger, I promised I'd take good care of you!"
"Oh, really?" Lisa stood up, not liking where the conversation was going.
Seeing that this could turn into an argument, Alan stepped between the couple and immediately addressed his brother.
"You're gonna have to cut back, Charlie," he proposed.
He picked up the summary sheet. "Let's look at your expenses... First thing is, we stop paying your accountant."
"That's a little cold, isn't it?" Charlie said disapprovingly. "He's great, I've known him for years. He's just going through a rough patch."
"Charlie, you're broke."
"You're right, screw him. What's next?"
"You have a gardener. Why do you have a gardener?" Alan stared at him strangely.
"To tend my garden."
"Garden?" Lisa chimed in. "You mean the two potted palms on the deck that I already water?"
"Ha, someone is working less than us, bro," Daniel laughed, looking at Charlie.
"But don't fire him, he was a nice dude," he added. "He always called me out to the deck when a beautiful chick was walking by on the beach."
Alan stared flatly. "Gone!"
"Heyy!!"
Lisa pointed to the biggest expense in the financial report. "Charlie, 'miscellaneous cash expenses'? What exactly is that?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "Go see a movie, buy a hot dog, stuff like that."
"It was $80,000 last year!" She made a face.
"Oh, that..." he muttered.
"That's probably women and gambling," Dani 'helped' his brother remember. "At least that would be my bet! One that I could finally win!"
Lisa glared at Charlie, who shot a glare at his brother.
"What?" Daniel spread his arms. "You can't fault him, Lisa. That was before you got engaged."
But he added, "Now is woman and gambling. Singular."
Alan tried to calm things down again by continuing with the cuts. "Gone. Now, 'Ultimate Premiere Satellite Package'?"
"That's really cool. I get every sporting event in the world. If a kid in Madagascar throws a rock at a tree, I can see it and bet on it."
"It's gone."
"Oh, man. We can keep the cable, though, right?"
"You have satellite and cable?"
"Sometimes there are solar flares."
"Okay, we can cut back to basic cable." Alan crossed another item off the paper.
"Hey, that's enough! Let's stop torturing Charlie," Dani jumped into the conversation again, snatching the sheet out of Alan's hand. "Let me see this crap."
"Good Lord, bro. It's all red on the last monthly line." He stared at his brother's financial statement.
"See? I have a solution. If Charlie's problem is money, he just needs to make more money!" Dani remarked.
He continued, ignoring their stares. "Reading this report, I just realized I forgot to pay my rent to Charlie. There's also the Make-A-Wish thing, where he didn't really ask for anything."
"So... assuming I lived here for around two years, and that I still sleep here sometimes... ten thousand a month... plus the wishes..."
"I owe you three hundred thousand dollars, bro," he said, looking at his brother.
"I think it's too much, Daniel," Charlie said, conflicted. He didn't want to lose his lifestyle, much less be supported by Lisa for a while.
But he also didn't want to take advantage of his youngest brother. He wasn't Alan...
"Oh, come on, Charlie, just accept it," Dani urged him. "I think it's pretty fair. Besides, you even let me build my own room here."
"And..." He came up with another idea. "I think we should take you up on that proposal to work on something together!"
"We can create some nice songs or jingles!"
Lisa, who had also been about to refuse because she thought the kid was being ridiculously generous, changed her mind after that last remark.
"I think that would be amazing!" she said supportively.
"Yeah," Dani continued, still trying to convince him. "You could also help me with my new scripts. I'm trying to write musical films. And you and Lisa could help me with another idea I've been working on!"
"Fine!" Charlie finally gave in.
[Lisa commentary]
"I always thought Charlie could do so much more! He could aim higher with his talent," Lisa commented, revealing what she really thought.
"But I didn't want it to seem like I was pressuring him..."
She went on, "And Dani is the most ridiculously talented and creative kid I've ever met."
"With the two of them working together... the total number of hours worked would be about the same as a normal person."
"A normal person with a part-time job," she jabbed.
[Commentary ends]
Everyone was excited and relieved. Alan chuckled and decided to try his luck.
"Oh, Daniel, I'm also having a little financial problem..." he revealed.
"Huh, do you need a loan, bro?"
"That would be nice!"
"You don't need to feel ashamed, Alan." Dani patted him on the shoulder. "I'll call help for you."
And he did just that. "Yes, Mom, Alan said he's short on money."
He paused. "Yes. So can you loan him some money?"
After listening to her reply, he said, "Isn't that a bit harsh, Mom? Okay, fine. Bye-bye."
"Sorry, bro. Mom said you should work harder! And take better care of your finances!" He gave Alan a supportive look.
[Dani commentary]
"Incredibly enough, I'm by far the most financially responsible of the Harper brothers!" Daniel commented.
Then he received a call from Richard.
"Are you sure about it, Daniel? You already bought a lot..." Richard asked from the other end of the phone.
"It just 1,5% more. And I'm done with it!" He replied.
"Just 1,5%..." Richard sighed. "That would put almost a third of your net worth in Apple... that's a lot of concentration."
But Dani didn't back down. "Yeah, but combining the shares with the LEAPS options, I'd own 4,5% of it. Soon I'll be able to say I'm one of the owners of another company! Another awesome one!"
His banker corrected him. "Exposure, Daniel. You don't own four-point five percent of Apple."
"Details, Richard. Just small details. If it goes up enough, I'll exercise them and then I'll own it!"
Daniel finished, "Relax. If everything goes wrong, I still have the other two-thirds - about two hundred million - plus my seventy percent of H&P."
He paused.
"Dad would probably go nuts if he found out I put a hundred million dollars into Apple stocks and LEAPS..."
"....." Richard took a moment to reply. "That's between you and your father. I've warned you enough about the risk of this investment..."
[Commentary ends]
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