The room stayed dark for hours.
I never bothered turning the lights on.
I just lay there on my bed staring at the faint glow coming from outside the window while my thoughts twisted into knots I couldn't untangle.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw them again.
Chloe laughing.
Ethan smiling at her so easily.
The way they looked comfortable together.
My chest tightened painfully.
And I still didn't understand why.
I sat up suddenly, frustrated tears burning behind my eyes.
"This is so stupid," I whispered to myself.
Because it was.
I didn't like Ethan.
I barely even knew Ethan.
So why did it feel like something inside me cracked when I saw them together?
The tears came before I could stop them.
Hot and embarrassing.
I wiped them away angrily, but more followed anyway.
I hated crying.
Especially over things I couldn't even explain.
Part of me wanted to scream into a pillow just to release whatever this feeling was.
Another part of me felt completely confused.
Because none of this made sense.
Not the ache in my chest.
Not the jealousy creeping into my thoughts.
Not the way my stomach twisted every time I imagined them still together somewhere on campus.
I curled up under my blanket and pressed my face into the pillow.
What were they even doing right now?
Still talking?
Walking around together?
Maybe getting food somewhere?
Maybe Chloe was laughing the same way she laughed with everyone else.
Maybe Ethan was smiling at her the same way he smiled at all those girls I kept seeing him around.
The thought hurt more than I wanted it to.
And that only made me more frustrated with myself.
Because why should I care?
Eventually, sometime during the night, exhaustion pulled me into sleep.
⸻
When I woke up the next morning, sunlight was already filling the room.
I blinked slowly and looked toward Chloe's side.
Empty.
My chest sank slightly before I could stop it.
She still wasn't back.
I swallowed hard and looked away quickly.
Don't be weird.
Still, my mind started moving on its own again.
Had she stayed with friends?
Was she with Ethan?
The thought made something uncomfortable twist in my stomach again.
I got out of bed and tried distracting myself by getting ready for class, but my thoughts stayed messy the entire morning.
By afternoon, I was emotionally exhausted.
And Chloe still hadn't come back.
It wasn't unusual for her to stay out late sometimes.
But she usually came back eventually.
This time she didn't.
Every hour that passed made my thoughts worse.
By evening, I hated myself for even caring this much.
Then finally, sometime the next day, the door opened.
Chloe walked in carrying her bag and iced coffee like everything was completely normal.
"Hi," she said casually.
I looked up too quickly from my desk.
"Oh. Hey."
She kicked off her shoes and stretched.
"I'm exhausted."
I stared at her for a second before looking away again.
Ask normally.
Act normal.
I tried to sound casual.
"Why didn't you come back yesterday?"
Chloe blinked slightly, like she didn't expect the question.
"Oh," she said. "I stayed over at a friend's dorm after movie night. It got really late."
Friend's dorm.
My chest tightened anyway.
I nodded slowly.
"Oh."
Chloe sat down on her bed and looked over at me.
"You okay?"
I forced my expression to stay neutral.
"Yeah."
But even I could hear how off my voice sounded.
Chloe frowned slightly, studying me for a second longer than usual.
Then her expression softened a little.
"You sure?"
I nodded quickly this time.
"Just tired."
That answer again.
Tired.
It was becoming my response for everything I didn't know how to explain.
Chloe didn't push further.
But after she turned away, I sat there staring down at my notebook without actually reading anything.
Because deep down, one horrible realization had started forming quietly in the back of my mind.
And I didn't think I was ready to admit it yet.