Hu Tao's plum blossom-shaped pupils suddenly lit up. As if she had discovered a new continent, her gaze swept back and forth between Zhongli's face and that shocking little booklet. The more she looked, the more she felt something was off; the more she pondered, the more she felt there was something fishy going on.
"Wait..." She suddenly leaned in close to Zhongli, almost pressing against the consultant's calm and unruffled face. Her nose twitched slightly, as if she were sniffing for some suspicious scent.
Zhongli calmly leaned his body back, maintaining an appropriate distance. "Hall Master?"
"consultant..." Hu Tao drawled her words, her eyes becoming sharp and full of inquiry. "You just said that the Lord of Geo 'wanders the mortal world and should naturally have no connection with a lack of funds'?"
"Based on universal rationality, that is indeed the case." Zhongli nodded, his tone steady.
"Then what about you?" Hu Tao threw a direct curveball. "You are well-versed in both ancient and modern times, with vast knowledge. Even the Northland Bank recognizes your guarantee. By all rights, you shouldn't always 'forget' to bring Mora either, right?"
There was an extremely subtle pause in Zhongli's action of holding the tea. Had Hu Tao not been staring intently, it would have been nearly impossible to detect. He said indifferently, "As a mortal body, occasional oversights are only natural; they cannot be compared to a deity's 'no need to carry' it at all."
"Oh—? Really?" Hu Tao crossed her arms and began pacing around him, muttering to herself, "But why do I feel that these 'oversights' are a bit too frequent and give off too much of a sense of déjà vu?"
She suddenly stopped and began counting on her fingers:
"First, the Lord of Geo's incarnation, Young Master Zhongli, was elegant in every way and spent money lavishly—but didn't bring any. And you, the Caretaker of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, are profoundly learned with top-tier taste—yet you also never bring any money!"
"Second, in the record of shi pos wanderings, it says that the Lord of Geo reaching into his sleeves for money is a 'habit of a thousand years'! consultant, every time you pay the bill, you also naturally and rightfully reach into your sleeves. After discovering you didn't bring any, that expression... Tsk, it's not annoyance, not shame, but a kind of... 'Hmm? Why is it not here this time?'—a subtle surprise! This reaction is exactly the same as what's written in the book!"
The Attendant Sister on the side listened with eyes widening further and further. She subconsciously covered her mouth with her hand, her gaze shifting between the Hall Master and the consultant in a mix of horror and excitement.
Zhongli: "...This is a coincidence, a habitual movement that ordinary people also have."
"Third!" Hu Tao completely ignored his defense, getting more excited as she spoke, and held up another finger. "That book synthesizing deities says the Lord of Geo has the boldness of 'Mora' (I want it all) and the composure of 'Kexi' (remaining unphased even without money)! consultant, your 'I want it all' posture when buying things, and that rock-solid aura when you can't pay—as if the one who should be ashamed is someone else! It's a perfect match!"
She clapped her hands, so excited she almost jumped up. "And there's more! The Lord of Geo is knowledgeable and knows everything from ancient to modern times! You? You're the same! The Lord of Geo speaks like an old-timer and loves using 'universal rationality'! You? 'Based on universal rationality' is practically your catchphrase!"
Zhongli finally let out a soft sigh and set down his teacup, which made a crisp "clink."
"Hall Master, there is more than one person in this world who is learned and steady in speech and action. To infer based on this is somewhat too arbitrary."
"Arbitrary?" Hu Tao's eyes narrowed like a little fox that had found a flaw in its prey. "Fine then, let me ask you, consultant. Don't you know a bit too much about our Lord of Geo? Every time the Lord of Geo is mentioned, you always have something insightful to say, and that tone when you comment... Tsk, it's as familiar as if you were talking about your own relative!"
She approached again, lowering her voice with the seductive tone of someone who had discovered a shocking secret. "Consultant Zhongli... tell me the truth. Could you be a distant relative of the Lord of Geo? Or... are you actually an immortal who secretly descended to experience mortal life? Or maybe..."
A bolder, more absurd thought burst into Hu Tao's mind, making even her pause in shock. She looked at the book regarding the matter of the geo archon being a synthesized god who caused his wifes death in her hand, then at the handsome, extraordinary, knowledgeable, and always penniless consultant before her. A bizarre possibility made her scalp tingle instantly.
She took a sharp breath, her voice changing pitch and trembling with disbelief, "...No, no way, could you actually be that 'Kexi'?! The other half synthesized from Mora and Kexi who is steady and reticent, but later had to become a bit more 'talkative' because he lost 'Mora'?!"
"So you don't create Mora because it reminds you of sad memories?! So you're using the alias 'Zhongli' now?!"
The Attendant Sister: "!!!" The rag in her hand fell to the floor with a splat.
Zhongli: "..."
Even for the Geo Archon himself, who had weathered over six thousand years and witnessed countless absurdities, facing the Hall Master's shocking conclusion—which combined the latest popular unofficial history with a bizarre yet strangely "self-consistent" logic—he fell into complete silence.
For the first time, a clear daze appeared in those golden-amber eyes.
For a moment, one could hear a pin drop inside the WangSheng Funeral Parlor. Only the sound of Hu Tao's slightly rapid breathing from over-excitement remained.
After a long while, Zhongli raised his hand and pressed his temples with a hint of exhaustion.
Zhongli: "..."
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end, it only turned into a long, helpless sigh. His breath stirred the nearly invisible ripples on the tea that had long since gone cold in the cup.
"...Hall Master." His voice actually carried a trace of powerlessness that had rarely appeared in a thousand years. "Your imagination... has truly crossed certain boundaries."
"Whether it is forgetting to bring money or synthesizing deities, these are all things described in folk tales and cannot be taken as truth."
He slowly stood up, his movements as elegant and composed as ever, though the airflow brought by his sleeves brushing the tabletop seemed slightly more hurried than usual.
"Hall Master," Zhongli continued in a calm tone, showing no sign of anything unusual. "I suddenly recalled an appointment with the tea house owner today to discuss some newly arrived tea leaves. Please excuse me for now."
With that, without waiting for Hu Tao's response, he walked out of the WangSheng Funeral Parlor with steady steps, neither fast nor slow.
However, to the Attendant Sister who was secretly peeking, that back view somehow seemed to carry a hint of eagerness to escape this place of trouble.
Hu Tao stared at his back and suddenly stomped her foot, saying excitedly to the girl who was still in shock, "Did you see that! He didn't deny it! He tacitly admitted it! Quick! Go buy another copy each of record of shi pos wanderings and synthesizing deities. This Hall Master needs to study them word by word in depth!!"
Then, Hu Tao blinked and suddenly slapped her forehead. "Oh right! I need to go ask around about who this 'Lovia' really is!"
"I'll borrow these two first!"
She grabbed the two shocking booklets like a whirlwind and swept out of the WangSheng Funeral Parlor like a reddish-brown gale, leaving the Attendant Sister to look at the empty tea table and giggle.
She shouted toward the Hall Master's back, "Hall Master! The Lord of Geo has already passed away, don't make too much of a fuss!"
Hu Tao replied without looking back, "Oh, I know, I know!"
As Zhongli walked onto the street, his gaze swept over the citizens who were heatedly discussing the "secret news of the Archon." Hearing their exclamations of "So that's how it is," "How deep-seated," and "No wonder," his thousand-year-unchanging composed face finally turned into a sigh that dissipated in the bustling sea breeze of Liyue Harbor.
"Lovia..." He repeated the name in a low voice, his golden eyes narrowing slightly.
"It seems I need to find some time to personally visit the Sanyu Bookstore for a 'perusal'."
Lovia didn't know yet that the "bomb" she had dropped had not only shocked all of Liyue Harbor but had even alerted the protagonist of the story himself.
At this very moment, she was huddled in her small, run-down room, munching on a newly bought grilled tiger fish while happily counting her Mora pouch, thinking hard about how to write leisurely wanderings of star glitter, part two to make it a bestseller.
A storm might be brewing.
And our Melusine writer was still completely unaware, continuing to run headlong down the path of seeking death.